What It's Like Having Two Differently Abled Children

I have two very different kids. My oldest son Cody has asthma, Lennox-Gastaut Syndrome, and Down Syndrome. He uses a wheelchair, is physically incapable of doing anything on his own, and it takes an average of a half hour to get him ready to go anywhere. Cody is 9 years old (he's going to be 10 this year come September) and full of energy. I have to give him multiple medications every day. Cody can't speak and is constantly getting into things that he shouldn't on a daily business. He is still in diapers (due to his medical condition, he can never be toilet trained) and needs everything done for him.

After my son was born, I didn't think I'd ever have another child. The constant worry that if I did, that child would have disabilities just like my son does is what prevented me from even considering having more children. Every time I was sexually active, I took great lengths to prevent pregnancy. However, as careful as I was, I wound up pregnant once again.

I would be lying if I said that my second pregnancy was an easy one. At a later time, I will make another article on here about my pregnancy, but in this one, all I will say is that it was a very complicated pregnancy. One that I went through while also taking care of my son and moved into another house. All the time I was pregnant, in the back of my mind, I was worried about what physical disabilities my second child might have.

On September 8 of last year, my daughter Harley was born. Everything about her is the direct opposite of how things were when my son was born. Where my son had physical issues since birth, my daughter was born completely healthy. Where my son had to spend 7 weeks in the NICU (Neonatal Intensive Care Unite), my daughter spent time in my hospital room with me. My son couldn't breastfeed because of her miltiple issues, but my daughter could.

My daughter is developmentally advanced for her age. By my estimations (I've never really sat down and looked at any developmental charts carefully), she is at the very least, 6 months ahead of her biological age. Her doctor never really told me what Harley's developmental age is, as I don't think even he knows. All I hear is just to keep doing what I'm doing and that she's growing and putting on weight at a healthy rate. Also, that there's nothing wrong with her.

The time it takes to get my daughter ready to go anywhere is approximately 5 minutes and involves getting her dressed, putting her in her car seat, grabbing her bag, loading her into my car, and then taking off. She's a good little traveler who rarely makes noise and is excited to go anywhere, even if it's just to Wal-Mart to pick up a few things or taking my car to the mechanic. Harley is very attentive, loves to smile, and is a mostly happy child. She is very patient when I'm getting her big brother Cody ready to go anywhere.

To go anywhere with Cody involves taking him into the bathroom, giving him a shower, changing his diaper, getting him dressed, putting Cody's shoes on him, giving him his medication, and grabbing his rescue inhaler. All the while, Harley waits patiently for us to be ready.

Sometimes I feel like it's not fair to Harley that she has to wait to go because of how long it takes to get Cody ready. She's never complained (I usually get her ready to go anywhere last, due to how little time it takes me), but part of me feels like it's unfair to her that she has to wait if I get her ready to go first.

My husband sometimes helps me get the kids ready when we need to go anywhere. This cuts down the time it takes to get both Cody and Harley ready, but I am physically exhausted after doing this. Getting both kids ready on my own has me taking a nap after we get home.

With everything said, I wouldn't trade any of this for anything. I love both Cody and Harley and I hope that Harley continues to be developmentally advanced for her age. I might even write about her some more (telling the story of my crazy second pregnancy in detail) at a later time.

For now, I will close with this: Cody and Harley, despite being 9 years apart, are both totally awesome kids. They have an odd bond with each other and while they do fight quite often (Harley's favorite hobby is pulling Cody's hair), they seem to be bonding OK