The good news is that if you respond to a man's withdrawal in the appropriate manner, your actions may end up strengthening your bond with him over time.
Since this is also a strategy for the next time he pulls away from you (because it WILL happen, and no, it doesn't mean things are totally hopeless between you), read even if everything is going great between you (YAY!).
What I recommend doing in two steps when you feel that your boyfriend is drifting away is as follows:
Sometimes knowing what to do when he pulls away is more about knowing what NOT to do.
I want you to put an end to things as soon as you see that he is retreating from you, or worse if you are dumped.
COMPARE YOUR WITHDRAWAL TO HIS.
Give yourself some time to collect your thoughts, mobilize your inner fortitude, and rediscover your emotional core. You need some space to calm down and work through your understandable bad emotions of dread and rage about a man's remoteness. Allowing yourself this time and space apart will be a gift to you. Do not concern yourself with his actions.
No matter how you may feel like addressing him, expressing your emotions, discussing anything, or attempting to draw him closer— wait.
Even while doing nothing seems powerless, as he pulls away, you are really making a very powerful move.
Keep in mind that there is NEVER ANY urgency in dealing with men (unless when they are down on one knee, and even then).
2. AMUSE YOURSELF.
It bears reiterating that
"There is never any urgency in dealing with a man,"
To take your attention off him for a short time, drastically slow down and go do anything else.
Perspective might emerge when you allow yourself some breathing room. Do not approach him, inquire as to what is wrong, or make any other attempt to capture his attention at this time. Allow him to be as far away as possible. Consider devoting yourself to a brand-new endeavor, like a hobby or volunteer work.
WHAT SHOULD I DO WHEN HE LEAVES? STRATEGIES THAT WORK TO REPLY
Even though you believe your relationship was going well, you are now bewildered and angry. You are unsure whether his withdrawal is genuine or if your fears are playing up. What should I do then when he pulls away? Exist any powerful techniques or strategies to react and recover? The answer is yes, but you need first determine the cause of his altered conduct. Why do males withdraw? Look closely at his emotions to determine the cause. Here is a guide to help you cross over stronger and wiser.
WHY DO MEN TAKE OFF? 3 USUAL REASONS
The warning signals are very clear: your relationship seems like it's going nowhere, he appears uninterested, he often cancels, and something just feels weird. You never know why he is backing off; it's always one explanation or another. The causes might include desperation as well as concerns, anxieties, and insecurities. The following are the top three:
1. He fears commitment more than he values freedom.
Maybe he believes that things have progressed too quickly in the relationship. A second possibility is that he feels youthful and does not want to settle down. Some guys are afraid of committed long-term relationships but like the excitement of the hunt and the new connection because they find it more alluring. He may retreat if he believes he is giving up his independence, which takes time and work to maintain a committed relationship.
2. Other aspects of his life where he is under stress
You may be unsure of what to do if he pushes away or stops confiding in you. Sometimes, neither you nor the relationship are to blame. He is just stressed out; the cause might be job, or it could be that he is dealing with problems at home with his family, friends, or health.
Pulling away might sometimes be a means of defense. He may be terrified of experiencing heartache again due to his previous negative experiences. He is likely to become more reclusive and spend more time alone in order to discover what his true heart's wants and values are. Men prefer to keep their distance from you for a time rather than sharing such things in order to prevent frightening or troubling you.
3. He may not really be into you.
This one could be difficult to take, particularly if he previously shown commitment but is behaving strangely now. Some guys keep their actual emotions to themselves because they don't want to harm you. He may likely remove himself in the hopes that you would come to that realization on your own if he believes that you two do not have life objectives or that he is no longer attracted to you.
WHAT SHOULD I DO WHEN HE LEAVES? HOW TO RESPOND TO AND CONTROL THE ISSUES
What can you do if he starts to walk away? Is it possible to prevent him from withdrawing? Understanding why men withdraw is crucial, but forcing them to remain is not a smart move. Here are some excellent solutions to the problem:
#1: AVOID THE TEMPTATION TO QUESTION HIM AS TO WHAT WENT WRONG
Be composed. Make the space since it's true that distance makes the heart grow fonder. Although the impulse to connect is strong, it is necessary and has the power to do miracles. He will have the chance to miss you and will then approach you as a result. He won't appreciate you if you consistently text, phone, or inquire about him from his pals.
Today is the right time to read some good dating books.
Observation: If you pursue him, he will pull further away. Stay independent.
#2: CONTROL YOUR EMOTIONS AND INTERACT POSITIVELY.
Your connection is still intact, so don't panic. Most likely, he just needs some time. He may not always be uninterested if he pulls away or ghosts you. Positive encounters only, please. Ensure he understands you are there for him. Never nag, beg, or coerce him into sharing his emotions.
Refrain from expressing your rage or hatred.
3. Take your time. AIM TO ASSIST HIM IF HE IS STRESSED
Relationships may sometimes suffer from issues related to employment, health, or family. Men often respond to these situations differently. They attempt to manage things independently of you and other people.
Advice: Be sympathetic and work together to recover stronger.
#4: Inquire about his insecurities.
If you are aware of his level of security or insecurity, you may have a loving connection. You may always assist if he lacks confidence or is unable to get beyond his unpleasant previous experiences. Recognize his worries, comfort him, and calm him down. Don't be critical, and be grateful a lot.
Advice: Show support. Make him feel appreciated by doing things for him, since this will increase trust.
#5: DIG INTO YOURSELF
Are you wondering how to woo him to you? Stop stressing about what you did to turn him off and give him some space. Your ego and self-esteem may be badly impacted if he withdraws. Change your attention by being busy or distracted. Don't interrupt your normal activities, and don't feel bad for putting yourself first.
Advice: Take advantage of this opportunity to rediscover your best qualities. Spend time with family and friends and engage in hobbies.
#6: AVOID REACTING IN FEAR OR BECOMING PARANOID.
What should I do if he often pulls away before coming back? It's critical to express your emotions in straightforward terms. Your partner and the relationship will lose value if you react in fear or develop paranoia. After a "week of silence," send him a feeler to see how he responds. Do not place blame or level accusations in your talk; keep it informal. Great if he is responsive! When he doesn't answer, it's time to move on.
Advice: If he continues to show little interest in your emotions, this is a clear sign that he is not sufficiently interested in you.
#7: Be prepared to accept the results.
Being uninterested might draw a guy in because it is seductive. Avoid treating him or the relationship as if they are the center of the world. You put out frantic signals when you are concerned about the possibility of losing him; don't do that. He'll lose interest and perhaps even end things with you. Whatever the result, you must be ready to handle it.
Advice: Don't bother if it's not worth the trouble.
Eighth: Take your time.
You shouldn't be coping with the stress of suffocation if the person you are with has already temporarily checked out of the relationship. Even if you have put a lot of time and effort into him, this does not justify continuing to suffer. Particularly if you have always stood by him and have never behaved improperly. You deserve a better person.
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