We Serve With Them

Three months ago, I married the love of my life and moved half-way across the country in support of his career, leaving behind everyone and everything I have ever known. I am grateful to have this opportunity to see the nation and hopefully the world. However, I am learning that having a spouse in this career is not even close to easy.

My dear husband is a soldier for the United States Army and I am writing this so new wives, like myself, can get some semblance of what this life is like.

Let's see...

We have only been married since March and have been stationed at this post for about two months. My husband has been gone early in the morning until late into the night, thrown into a position he knows nothing about and too busy with work to focus on much of anything else. They have revoked four-day weekends and have pretty much made the short amount of time we have to spend together, that much shorter.

He leaves in about two weeks or so for a month long training and then two months after that goes on a 9+ month rotation. So, if you plan to become a military spouse, be prepared for the long nights and the trainings and everything else because I sure as hell was not prepared.

But, I wouldn't change being able to be near him when I can, and I treasure every minute of the day that I get to spend with him. We cuddle and watch movies when we can and just enjoy the time we have in each other's arms when the chance arises.

Here are somethings that I have found made this transition easier:

1) Focus on the good. For instance, we have a beautiful home and this beautiful new adventure we are embarking on together. We have our own separate spaces for our creative minds, his being video games and mine being books and writing. Our neighborhood is quiet which is nice. Its calming.

2) Make friends. This is a big one. You need other people in your corner who actually get that this life is hard. These people won't judge you simply because you breakdown over him going to the field, or deployment or anything in between. Its mentally and emotionally draining constantly having to prepare yourself for when your spouse won't always be by your side.

3) Stay connected to home. I have come to know that being away from family is harder than I thought but thank God for modern technology giving us the connection to distant family members. Ensure you facetime family as often as you can. You do not want to lose that connection to your roots.

4) Stay busy. Find a new show to binge. Focus on your dreams. Aggressively clean your house. Find something that will keep your mind busy always. I started getting back into my writing, something I haven't been able to sit down and do for far too long.

5) Know how important your roll is. You are one of the things these soldiers look to when they need a shoulder, a smile or a reason to make it back. However, not every soldier's day-to-day job is as dangerous as my soldier's job is. Artillery is no joke y'all. Don't let your spouse pull the having a job card if you're a stay-at-home wife because this is a full time job in itself.

6) Be honest. By this, be honest with yourself that you are doing the best you can with a very tough situation. This life isn't for everyone. You do not need to be perfect. You can't set unrealistic standards for yourself.

7) This last one is from my mother-in-law, an army wife herself. Remember this, always and forever, we are serving right alongside them.

Army strong is only as strong as the families keeping everything back home together.