Ways to Survive an Unplanned Pregnancy

Discovering you are pregnant can be one of the most emotional moments of your life. Even if you have been planning to have children at some point, it is still a shock to see the positive result on your pregnancy test. Pregnancy changes everything, but it is possible to not only survive it, but actually weather it well.

The Father

The first question you will likely have to deal with is whether or not you plan to go through the pregnancy and keep the baby. If you are on good terms with the father, he should probably be the first one you discuss your unplanned pregnancy with. Talk (and cry) together and recognize that you are both in shock. Don't act on any decisions yet. Time can change minds and it may take a few days just to get used to it and decide how you both feel.

Remember that however you're feeling, it's OK. Even if you love each other and plan to stay together, it still may not be the time and place to bring a baby into the world. Even though this may make both of you very sad, treat yourselves with kindness and know that no one but the two of you can decide on the correct course to take.

Options

If you and your partner have decided not to keep the baby, one option is abortion. This is not a good choice for everyone due to religious or other personal reasons. If you do decide to have an abortion, make sure you get counseling both before and after the procedure. Go to the appointment with someone who will be strong and supportive of you; it is going to be stressful and you feel better with someone to lean on.

Don't attempt to jump right back into your pre-pregnancy life. You have just been through a major ordeal, both physically and emotionally and you need time to recover.

If neither having and raising the baby or abortion are the answers for you, there is another choice: adoption.

Adoption, in some ways, is both the hardest and easiest choice. It's easy because you are doing a wonderful thing. Bringing a baby into the world to share with someone who is unable to have a child is a joyful thing. The hard part is that you will most likely grow attached to the baby at some point, especially when you start feeling him or her move.

Besides friends, the adoption agency you've chosen will have counselors who have helped many people in your exact situation. Whenever you're feeling conflicted, sad or angry you can reach out to them. A good agency will help you every step of the way and may even provide you with housing and food if you need it.

Adoption now is not like it was 50 years ago. You may be able to choose the adoptive family before you have your baby. If you are sad about not seeing your child grow up, choose a family that will allow you to have a relationship with your child as they grow.

Friends, Family and Counseling

The nine months will be a series of ups and downs, as it is with every woman's pregnancy. Part of the time you may feel euphoric and at others, miserable. Friends are what you will need the most at this time. They can help you when you're feeling sad and remind you of the awesome thing you're doing.

Another thing that may help is to keep a memory box full of important items related to your pregnancy like photos, notes written to the baby and small mementos of places you went together while you were pregnant. It may comfort you in the coming years and you may even be able to give it to your child at some point.

Feel your feelings whatever they are and know that there are many people out there willing and able to help. You are not alone.