Truly Thankful

My life has not always been easy. I’ve struggled, suffered, lost, and seldom gained. In the process, there are a few people closest to me that I am certainly grateful for along my journey.

To my husband, you truly do not know how much your love and kindness has influenced me. You have been there for the hardest obstacles we have faced. And you remained beside me during times that would usually ruin a lot of relationships.

You have been my friend, partner, and love of my life since we were 18. After my first love died unexpectedly, I thought maybe I would never find love again. I thought I would never be happy. I thought I would never feel blessed to have something a lot of others have. But you proved me wrong, and continue to prove me wrong each and every day. I will always love you and be thankful for you and your existence. I don’t know where I would be without you.

To my daughter, you came into my life during one of my most hardest phases of depression. I was at such a low point, I started drifting away. Your father and I began having problems with communication, arguments, it was a very challenging time. You were planned but also a surprise; An extraordinary surprise. Ever since the day you were born you have given me a whole new perspective on life. You have helped me believe in myself more again. You gave me a reason to not give up. To stay with you, and your father when I was really beginning to think about walking away.

I believed you both would be better off without me. Eventually I realized that was wrong. You, my darling girl, have made us whole. You are truly an incredible blessing that I will always cherish. I will always love you. I will always be there for you, just like you have been there for me in so many ways in your short life. I believe you will grow to be an amazing woman, and I am so proud to be able to say that I am your mother. I love you, and your father irrevocably.

Now I’m going to change the tune a little. Because among all this, I eventually had to open my heart and mind to understand that there is another person I need to be thankful for. Someone that never gave up. Someone that is still fighting, still trying.

Me.

If I didn’t go through the things I did and push myself when it was needed, I wouldn’t still have these amazing people. I wouldn’t still have my husband. I wouldn’t have our daughter. And to me, there’s nothing else worth being thankful for. Material items are that...materialistic; replaceable.

These people are irreplaceable. All the memories are irreplaceable. Moments that come and go and will not be lived again. I am incredibly thankful for my family but I am especially thankful that I stayed strong and fought through the demons lurking in the corners of my heart. I am thankful for myself for not giving up. I am thankful for staying alive.

If it wasn’t for that, I wouldn’t be where I am today. I wouldn’t have the people I am most thankful for. In this moment, I am thankful for getting to be here. Life is precious and it should not be wasted.

I am so, incredibly thankful for all of this. And I will never give up.