A topic no one talks about
Feeling trapped? Felling imotationally drained ? Your not alone. You may even feel guilty for feeling this way about your mother. It’s okay to feel this way, but it’s not your fault, it’s your mom’s fault, maybe even her parents fault, maybe no one’s. Whatever it is, I’m here for you.
The best way to deal with a toxic mother is to distance yourself, I mean real distance though. You cannot be living under the same roof, you may still have hope but I’m here to explain to you why this will not work. Whether you explain to her your feelings or the toxicity, or the stress it gives you, it will only make things worse. You can try to tell her the things she is doing wrong but just like she did in the past, your opinions and feelings will be disregarded, and they are not important to her. She will just tell you that you are overreacting, and she is just being the mother she’s supposed to be. Having real distance from her and limiting communication is the only way to heal and distress.
You will notice that your life will take a complete turn, you'll start becoming more you than ever before. It will take time, but you will be able to make your own decisions, and you'll learn what you actually like and don’t. I know it’s hard to distance from someone who had you on your toes 24/7, but just give it a try and you will see what I’m talking about. Youl feel free and actually happy!! Navigating through life will get easier because there is no heavy weight on your shoulders anymore.
Since it’s not easy, I have a few tips for you that may help you take that step forward.
*Forgive and forget:
Try to forgive her first, you must understand that she is this way because of some hurt she didn’t deal with in her own past. When I say forgive I don’t mean; go and tell her sory. What I’m trying to say is forgive from your heart, know that she doesn’t mean to be this way. I’m sure she loves you but all she knows is toxicity so she cannot give you more than that. She is incapable of loving the way you wish, so the best way to go about it, and the healthiest, is to forgive and let go. When you do this and begin to understand that she is this way for a reason and will never change, you are going to be more capable of leaving your situation.
*Become financially Independent:
Try to be financially stable or wait it out until you are, then you can leave and live happy life. Don’t wait for someone to come save you, no one is going to save you except maybe God. Save yourself, focus on you, you can do this!! If no one believes in you I do, because I’ve been there.
Find a hobby:
Finding a hobby will not only distract you from what you are going through, it will also heighten your vibrational energy. Sometimes when we have toxic parents, it's hard to stay happy and motivated. Picking up a hobby, especially one outside your home is going to help you stay out of depressive feelings, and away from the toxicity. Even Hobbys such as taking walks, creating art, reading, or anything simple. Any sort of activity where you can sift your focus on can make you feel better, and therefor you'll find independence. Once you find that occupation, your mind will reset and be in a better state to take action for moving forward on your own.
I hope this finds someone who needs guidance, i wish you the best of luck on your journey in life. Remember that you are not the only one, and you can overcome anything you believe in.
Thank you for reading, I will see you next time. :) You can subscribe to see more content like this.
Some people talk about it... https://vocal.media/stories?status=published But it's hard to put it out there.