To My Mother Who Left Too Soon

by Kasey Gilbert 2 years ago in grief

All the Things I Wish I Could Say to You

To My Mother Who Left Too Soon

Hello Mom,

It's been too long since I last spoke to you, in person that is. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't wish I could call you or visit you just to see how you're doing, to hear your voice, to know you're there. You left too soon, too soon for me to tell you all the things I wish I could so I'll say them now if only for the hope that somehow you can hear them.

I wish I could tell you that you were my best friend, the first person I wanted to talk to about my day, my experiences, my hardships, my accomplishments. I feel like I could've told you anything and all that would have been waiting was a response full of encouragement, advice, and love. Even today, although you're no longer here, you're still the first person I want to talk to when I'm struggling, when I'm overjoyed, when I have questions.

I wish I could tell you that you taught me things that when you actually taught them, I didn't fully appreciate until now. You taught me to always believe in myself, even when it seems the odds are completely against me. You taught me to always fight and push forward, even when giving up seems to be the easier option. You taught me that love is ultimately the most important possession and that family is irreplaceable and holds the only true value in life. Thank you for being such a great teacher even when you didn't even realize it.

I wish I could tell you that you were the most amazing mother anyone could've asked for. You always placed your children's needs and wants above your own and weren't happy unless your children were. You made sure your children were always heard, always loved, and always cared for. You comforted your children when they were sad, celebrated with them through all their accomplishments, and calmed their worries when they felt they couldn't deal with them alone. Motherhood suited you perfectly, and you made sure the world knew that you were a great woman, but foremost, a devoted mother.

I wish I could tell you how much life has changed since you've been gone and how much of an impact your absence has made. No special occasion or holiday has been the same without you, there's always a sort of emptiness that won't ever truly be filled. Everyone misses you dearly, you truly were a special woman and everyone enjoyed your company.

Aside from all the important things I wish I could tell you, I just wish I could tell you something, anything. I wish you were only a phone call away, one drive away. I wish I could talk to you about cooking, about the weather, about movies and books, about parenthood and everyday life. I wish I could talk to you about all the current trends, about a new food I tried, about a funny thing I seen on the Internet. I just wish I could talk to you, the topic wouldn't make a difference because I would be talking to you, hearing your voice, your opinions, the absolute proof that you're doing well.

I sure do miss you, there will never be a day where missing you isn't a present thought in my mind. There will always be a major part of my life missing, but I am so grateful for the time I did have with you. I love you Mom, you may be gone physically but you'll never truly be gone from my heart, my memories. I know you're with me every step of the way, cheering me on. Thank you for all you did for me, for all the love you gave to me, for all the things you taught me, and for simply being there for me to talk to.

grief
Read next: Understanding the Effects of Addiction on the Family
Kasey Gilbert

Hello, I am a mommy of two! My biggest passions include motherhood, makeup and beauty, food, and entertainment! 

See all posts by Kasey Gilbert