To my daughter, you were brought into the world when I didn't want to live. You were brought into this world with parents who were so screwed up that they couldn't even tell what was right or wrong. Being born into a family, that was torn apart as it was with other family as toxic as they could be, being born to a broken mother who in all reality wasn't sure if she wanted you, you pulled through. You were strength personified, you were the light manifested in a tiny human body, you were hope itself.
In your short time in the world, you dealt with your father betraying your mother, losing your great grandmother, the only one you will ever have, your mom fighting depression to raise you and the regret of even bringing you in this world. Your life by the time you were 3 months you had kept your innocence, happiness and purity when all was dark. Then you got sick, RSV ravaged your body and almost killed you, yet not three days after being released you were so smiley and cooing to me. Then even though the darkness overcame your father, you watched him hurt me, you even woke every night with nightmares, you still managed to smile and stay the perfect happy little girl everyone came to love.
Six months old and you've done went through mommy and daddy splitting but attempting to live together still and co-parent. You wake up every morning with a smile and laughter even though the home is broken. You are so strong and brave and happy, it's admirable and a miracle in itself. Go ahead to 11 months and I have left your daddy, he freaked and you are brought in the middle of it; your one year passes, more fighting happens and again you are brought in the middle. Then, the people who were supposed to be your family, kidnaps you from me and your daddy, keeps you from us for three days until police are involved, you're officially kidnapped; yet even with all that you're a talkative, hyper, happy and pure baby with all the innocence one can have.
Time passes, your dad uses you as a pawn, keeps you from me and you get ripped away from your mommy all because your daddy is jealous. Again you are brought as tool to hurt, but you never get affected by it, you never let it dim your light or laughter and you continue to love anyone and everyone. Throughout this time, while you are being a pawn, you learn to walk. You still adapt and learn like you should even though your life is turmoil, you grow and get brighter. Your innocence knows no bounds.
Jump to now, babygirl you will be four this year, four years and you've already became a light and inspiration to me. An inspiration to make myself better, to strive to keep laughter and happiness and love involved no matter what the world may throw at us. Even though you might not realize it yet, babygirl you are so strong, smart, beautiful and an angel on earth. You are wonderful in every way, perfect in mistakes, and still so strong. Babygirl you are my idol, my star, and everything I hope I can live up to be, for you. For your youth, for your happiness, for your growth and just so you can continue to conquer the world, one mountain at a time. You are so strong and I admire you at four years old, I am sure I will admire you even more as you get older.
My love, my heart, my soul, don't even change for anyone, stay the uniquely beautiful individual that makes you so strong. Stay strong and grow my world, my idol, you will achieve greatness one day.
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