Tips to Get Through Your Divorce

Going through a divorce may be the hardest thing that you will ever have to do. Your emotions are going to range from anger to sadness and maybe even relief. You may feel all of these emotions in one day!

Your entire life is going to change. You may have to sell your beloved home and find somewhere else to live. The financial changes can also be overwhelming. That doesn’t even begin to touch the surface if you have children. You are going to have to learn to split your time with your children.

Though this can be completely overwhelming, that won’t always be the case. Here are some tips to help you get through this difficult time.

Give yourself some grace. With everything changing, you need some time to adjust to everything. You can’t expect yourself to pick up the pieces and start your new life over as if nothing happened.

In fact, you need to take the time that you need to grieve. Divorce is like death, and you are going to have to go through the grieving process. Not only is your marriage ending, but your whole life is going to change. You are going to feel a range of emotions, from relief to anger, denial to utter sadness, and everything in between!

You are going to need to take one day at a time. Though you may feel excited to have a new start and make all of the decisions, it can also be very overwhelming. It is important to take one day at a time, and make one decision at a time. Break your larger goals and dreams into smaller (and more manageable) ones so that you continuously feel like you are working in the right decision.

You are going to need to be prepared to lose some family and friends during this whole process. Many family and friends choose sides when one goes through a divorce so that you may lose some of your family and friends.

That being said, you need to find some people that you can lean on during this difficult time. Most people turn to their close family members and friends to support them through their divorce and the months (and years) afterward. You are going to want to find people that you can be honest with, so you don’t have to worry about being judged. They accept you for you, no matter what.

There is nothing wrong with getting professional help. Though your family and friends can be helpful, the truth is that a professional can make an even bigger difference in your life. He or she will be able to help you learn new coping skills, and help you focus on yourself as you figure out exactly what you want (and need) during this delicate time.

If you are able to, use a Divorce Mediator instead of going through the court system. Going through divorce can be overwhelming. Splitting up everything that you own (and especially your children) can be downright hard. Fighting through the court system can make it take even longer.

For this reason, you should try to go through mediation. A mediator will help both of you divide everything up as amicably as possible. It is cheaper, and it will help you build a new relationship with your ex. You will learn a better way to communicate, which can be helpful when you are co-parenting.

Divorce should be thought of as a loss, and you need to give yourself time to grieve, as well as give yourself some grace. Everything is changing (and fast), which can be quite overwhelming. In fact, you should take it one day at a time. You don’t have to change everything all at once!

This is also a good time to spend time with your family and friends. However, don’t feel bad if you lose some in the divorce. This will only help you find the right people to surround yourself with. You may also want to talk to a professional. It can be hard to navigate your new life and your therapist will be able to help you find ways to cope and make decisions on your own.

Previously published on Medium and/or Newsbreak.