There are three reasons why people are irritable towards their relatives and friendly to outsiders

Napoleon said:

"A man who can control his emotions is greater than a general who has won a city."

To be honest, it's not easy to really control your emotions, and you will show different attitudes towards different people.

The most typical example is that when we face our relatives and outsiders, we will have different performances. Sometimes we don't care too much about our relatives, express what we want to express, and don't care about each other's feelings at all. However, when we face outsiders, we often look forward and backward and don't easily express our true face.

In fact, it is not uncommon for many people to have such a performance. The reason why they can have such a difference is often "things happen for a reason".

Today, let's talk about that there are three reasons why people are inconsistent in appearance, irritable towards their relatives and friendly to outsiders.

Don't bear the consequences for your relatives. Outsiders are afraid of offending each other

There is a view in Psychology: "when you feel you don't have to bear more psychological costs, you won't worry too much."

Too many people will feel that their relatives are close to themselves. They don't have to worry about saying the wrong thing, doing the wrong thing, offending each other, or making each other unhappy.

In other words, they don't have to worry about doing something wrong and paying more in front of their relatives, so they will show their inner unbearable side unscrupulously, or sad, or irritable, or reckless. The most important thing is not to worry about the consequences.

But the opposite is true in front of outsiders.

After all, they are not the closest people to each other. Maybe they are still holding on to their interests. If they are not careful, because they offend each other, it may directly affect their cooperation. After all, the other party is not your closest person and won't get used to your bad temper at all. They get along more with respect and mutual benefit.

Therefore, they are not without bad temper in front of outsiders, but deliberately restrain their bad temper. Even if they are unhappy, they will not be easily displayed on their faces, but in their hearts, and will not be easily detected by the other party.

The fundamental reason for the two different attitudes towards relatives and outsiders comes from the consideration of bearing the consequences.

Relatives are disappointing and cold, and outsiders respect you like guests

Sometimes, the relationship between relatives may not be as warm as the spring breeze, but also as cold as frost. It is even more chilling than the "harm" brought by outsiders.

In fact, the more relatives get along with each other, the more accountants they are. As long as they are slightly unhappy, they will bring great harm to each other.

This kind of harm is far better than the harm brought to us by strangers and outsiders. Our hearts will inadvertently enlarge these pains, and they will not be easily erased, but will only keep them with us for a long time.

Therefore, the same thing, the behavior of relatives often makes us unacceptable, and then there will be a fierce emotional reaction. However, if an outsider did this, with the attitude of "respecting each other as guests", he might slowly forget it.

Because we don't pay so much attention to the attitude of outsiders in our hearts. As time goes by, it will only make us sigh the evil of our hearts and won't really hate a person from the bottom of our hearts.

This is the biggest difference, and it is also an important reason why we sometimes have different attitudes towards our relatives and outsiders.

In order to survive, the external face is smiling and the heart is restless when taking off the guard

A song said:

"In order to make a living, he always pretends to be crazy and silly in front of people, finding the best in both directions and exquisite in all aspects..."

To tell the truth, life is not easy. In order to live the life we want, we work hard outside. In order to maintain interpersonal relationships, we often don't easily offend people. No matter when, we are used to smiling on our faces and dare not easily reveal our true feelings.

In fact, this is also because of survival, which makes us smile all the time.

However, for relatives, it is completely another look.

Often after a hard day, I come home tired physically and mentally, take off my usual precautions and don't want to talk more. However, when I see some unhappiness at home, I often show dissatisfaction and even lose my temper. In fact, this is caused by my restlessness on weekdays.

Outside, you need to be careful with everyone. At home, I have returned to the harbor with a sense of security. Sometimes I will turn the depression outside into my bad temper.

Sometimes, not because we have changed, but because of life, we keep two faces.

Now that we understand that we have different attitudes towards outsiders and family members, we should be more clear about an eternal truth: in this world, only relatives and us are the closest people, and we are also the people who accompany us for the longest time.

In this way, we should cherish the happy time with our family. Even if it is a little bit of time in peacetime, we will remember it when we recall it many years later. They are so warm, because their existence has warmed our life.

Therefore, don't easily give your bad temper to your relatives. Even if you feel uncomfortable, you can tell them your most real feelings, and don't get angry without thinking. It will only make your family weak and the relationship farther and farther in the tear again and again.

Be nice to the people around you, and you will find that you will lose less and have more and more.