The Trouble With...(Pt. 9)

I will not bore you with the care and maintenance of home fish tanks. Let’s just agree that pets are always more work than you think they will be when you begin a journey with them. Fish are by far the biggest surprise. They are a surprise because your child may win one at a fair. Do you have any idea how completely unsanitary that is? Do you realize the life expectancy of those poor little buggers? Don’t bother to answer because we all know.

Perhaps you picked up a few fish at your local SUPER whatever market. These beauties have been cared for by professional… ok, no. They are fed irregularly. The dead ones are left in the tank for hours/days until a seasonal employee finds time to go through and scoop them out if the other fish haven’t eaten them yet. Again, good luck with life expectancy. Pet stores? Dare I say, “Fish Mills?” It’s only fish, after all.

We got some fish. I don’t remember how it came about. I do know that we invested in the tank, the heater, the light, the food, the net, the hood, the rocks, the fake plants, the fake shipwreck, and the “How to care for your fish” guide. Justin was going to be learning so much about how to take care of these fish, and he was going to learn a little responsibility. We were feeling pretty darn good about teaching our brilliant kindergarten student some nifty life skills.

Our troubles began when everyone at school began getting (dun, dun, dun) “the sniffles.” Justin remained healthy and immune to all of it for a while. Then, like everyone else, he finally caught that nasty cold and flu. He brought it home to us. This is what family sharing is all about, folks! I finally got up on our second day off from school/work and began my morning rounds of feeding everyone: kids, cats, fish – WHOA!

“Spud! What the hell is wrong with the fish tank?!” I remarked calmly.

“Hm?” he barely looked away from his book.

The water in the tank was cloudy and thick. I reached in and tried to pull out what was in there and it disintegrated at my touch. I panicked.

“Hey! Spud, what is in the fish tank?!” I asked again.

“Oh. The fish had the sniffles, so I gave them tissues.” He replied very matter-of-factly.

Save the fish. Clean out the tank. Rinse everything. Start all over.

Our troubles continued in the summer before first grade. The weather got hot. The kids played outside a lot (I’m not even making that amount up). At the time, we did not have an air conditioner. The kids were always running in and out for cold drinks. I had Kool-Aid mixed for them like we had stock in the company. Life was busy, but carefree and fun.

One evening as I made my feeding rounds: kids, cats, fish – WHOA!

“Spud! What the hell is wrong with the fish tank?!” I remarked calmly. ("What the hell?" was becoming my new most used phrase.)

“Hm?” Again, he barely stopped reading.

The water in the tank had a red hue. It was not from the lights. It was not normal. There was definitely a problem. I panicked. Again.

“Hey! Spud! What is going on with the fish tank?!” I asked. AGAIN.

“Well, they were thirsty because it’s so hot outside. So I gave them some of my drink!” he said as if this made perfect sense.

Save the fish. Clean out the tank. Rinse everything. Start all over.

This is where we made him re-read the “How to care for your fish” guide. This is when you remind yourselves that he is learning. This is when you tell yourselves that he is only 6 and this is the way a 6-year old thinks. THIS is the way of children and fish. ::sigh::

The new school year started. The winter came. It got cold. In fact, it got bitter cold. I don’t mind the cold, but I am not a fan of that bitter, painful cold. I usually keep the thermostat set at the same temperature all year. That year, I turned the heat up. I actually went to the thermostat and changed the temperature. This was a big deal in the Abel household and everyone noticed. This was not lost on Justin. I tell you this so you can be prepared.

Our troubles came to a halt when I came home from work after a long day. I began the rounds: kids, cats, ...ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!

“JUSTIN SPUD DAVID ABEL! GET IN HERE RIGHT NOW!”

He came running.

“What in thee hell is wrong with the fish tank? The fish are BOILING!”

“Oh, wow.”

There was a pause, for sure. Then I think he started to cry. I didn’t realize how much that was going to hurt him. Part of me has this memory of grabbing him and holding him, turning the light and power off, and crying with him. Part of me thinks that all of those things couldn’t have happened simultaneously. In my mind they did. Maybe there is something in our “protective” mode as mothers that allows us to perform these incredulous feats. Maybe we just want to believe we did. The end result was the same. I held him and we cried.

We could not save the fish. We cleaned out the tank. We did not start over. At least not with fish.