The secret life

On a narrow and long road Elizabeth has set her navigation system to direct her to the home that once belonged to her grandmothers. Her fingers repeatedly tapping against the steering wheel and checking the time every other minute. Clearly in a rush and not pleased to be using her precious time on the road. Letting out another sigh she exclaims “Why do I have to be the one to collect grandmothers belongings ” to no one in particular, since she is the only one in the car. She continues, “Its not like they don’t know how busy I am at work. I have several deadlines and a new project that I’ve to start. My schedule is not set up for an unplanned miscellaneous task such as this one”. This continues for a while pointing out that no one is as busy as her, no ones work demands as much effort as hers, and that no one understands how much she has on her plate. With frustration she tilted her head against the car window while looking up ahead on the road with no other car insight. She applies more pressure to the gas peddle convincing herself that there’s no harm to it, since she is the only one on this forsaken road. The faster she drives the quicker she can get back to the city away from this rural forest that she is driving deeper and deeper into.

Elizabeth is not taking in the beautiful colors in which the leaves have paint themselves several shades of green or the stance of the many trees that appear to have seen generations of family. In fact, she only has her eyes focused on either the road or the time. Constantly looking at the digital numbers displayed on her car monitor screen, anticipating every minute to the second in which her time is spent on the road. In the distance, a loud vibration of thunder is heard and felt through Elizabeth as she jumps in her seat to the sudden noise. Reminding her of the thunder storm that was forecasted later in the day. This storm is predicted to last for a week something about a breeze from the Pacific ocean passing by predominantly over the region in which her grandmothers home resides. That didn’t stop Elizabeth since she believes that if she is able to drive back before noon, then she would barely be passing the edge of the storm heading back. Extremely confident in this plan she did not hesitate to leave even after several warnings.

As she is turning the wheel along the curve of the road following another and another. The land appears to rise above her as the rocky terrain next to her appearing to grow rapidly almost as if it is going to swallow her. Eventually the cliff that she once was on top of looking over the forest begins to level out. Leading into a narrow stone pass-over arching over the road. Elizabeth finds herself entering a small-town, “Finally” she said ecstatic! Getting to her grandmothers house was not Elizabeths preferred activity for the day, but she has arrived. Parking, and turning off the rumble of the cars engine that seemed to continue in the surrounding sky is reminding her of this race against time she is having with this storm. “It can only take 10 minutes ” she mumbled to herself as she looked onwards into her grandmothers house. Entering brought back a feeling of warmth. Something that she hasn’t felt for a while. The light shining through the tall windows bouncing throughout the space as the brightest light landing on a practical spot that brought back a forgotten memory.

She can hear that very voice the sweetness, and wisdom reflecting throughout each word, as if her grandmother was in this very space “Mija, remember your worth as a women, and make something of your own. Don’t ever let your shine be taken away. Take care of your own happiness”. Elizabeth dazes off to the distance while looking guilty and sad when she was taking in this recollection. This thought did not progress any further since she was interpreted by the nearing storm. The thunder almost shaking the entirety of the house letting her know that it’s closer than she would like it to be. Quickly she looks for her grandmothers personal belonging in which were picked out by the grandmothers dearest friend that no one has ever seen, surprisingly. Neatly stacked on a small side table the items were found with a carefully written note that read;

These are all of your grandmothers precious memories. I am sure she would want her family to finally read into the story of her life. As we all know she lived a life to her rules. Regardless of her way of life, please continue to love her.

- G

Reading through the note one more time Elizabeth is intrigued by the subtle secrecy of this note with no clue to who the pen writer is and this secret life of her grandmother. Then almost as if the storm itself agreed with uncovering this mystery it began to shrill as the storm grows stronger and louder. The door that was briefly left open began to move with the chaos that the wind brought. Elizabeth panicked because her fear of being stuck in this middle of nowhere town for a week was beginning to look like her reality. At a haste she grabbed the fairly sized pile into her tote. Not concerned with anything being creased or unorganized in the process. The smell of rain began to fill the room with anticipation that they will shortly fall soon. Grabbing the little black book one of the last items of her grandmothers valuables on which the note was found. Elizabeth searches for her keys while simultaneously walking towards the door, and holding onto what seems like all of what that is left of her grandmother. Bring a mixture of feeling as she nears the door, and just wanting the most favorable outcome. Elizabeth is brought to a halt as the heaviness of the sky just fell onto the ground. “Fuck” Elizabeth said as she slammed the door to prevent her from seeing anymore of this horrid storm.

A few hours have passed as Elizabeth lays in the nearly empty foyer room in denial. Not really pleased about being home bound with no internet for a week in this tempered storm. The excess and various noises that laughs at the idea of silence reassurance Elizabeth that non of her work will be attended to. Looking at the tote she began to reorganize the items she had hastily stuffed away. Leading her thoughts to the attention of the small black book. Elizabeth thought to herself as to why the note was placed on this book alone. Opening the book she saw entries of what appeared to only be her grandmothers most memorable memories for the dates were all scattered. Intrigued she flips through the pages and her eyes being to follow the words in a trance. The noises of the storm began to fade out slowly being pushed into the distance and replaced by the sounds of her voice reading the glimpses of her grandmother life that brought to her a feeling of home.

As days and nights mixed throughout the week. The storm is beginning to reach its end for the rain has soften, and the birds are preying. Elizabeth decides to open a window to let the breeze in and reflect on the stories of her grandmothers way of life. Each entry was a reflection of how her grandmother lived her life in freedom, with love, and only accepting happiness. One of the earliest entry brought to her an overwhelming sense of realization. Reaching to the book and looking at it with a smile as her fingers searched for the entry that made her whole again. The story started like this:

Nov 1928

I don’t think they will understand, since I don’t understand it myself fully. All I know is that I can’t keep this up. Ya sé que, as a women I need to be here for the family, and nurture the roots of our linage without putting myself first. Ya sé que, as a women I need to find myself a man to create this family without speaking up as me maltrata. Ya sé que, as a women I need forget that I have my own dreams. Que ya no vio para mí sino para la familia.

Dios forgive and I hope mi madre does too. I will not be another generational tie of suffering. I will not loose my identity, and I will love whom I want to love because of love with G.

-Lisa

Elizabeth read that passage as if it was oxygen it self for it resonated strongly in her life. Avoiding the long overdue confrontation and divorce was something Elizabeth took high craft by overworking. The current marriage has suck all of her life that she has forgotten that she is a women who have dreams, ambitions, and desires. Feeling understood and realizing that it is time for the ending she has longed. Elizabeth following in her late grandmothers footstep is continuing a life that does not create generational ties. “Ya sé” said Elizabeth as she took off her overpriced $20,000 ring. Thinking about how much she can do with the ring to start a new life.