The Mother

This month celebrates something I'm very passionate about: Appreciation for women. There are MANY women in this world I admire, strangers, friends, and family all alike. And today I want to talk about my mother. Actually, I want to talk about all mothers.

It's only been recently that I became a mother. At first, I was just a daughter. And back then I only understood appreciation for my mother. She was my hero. She worked two jobs, long hours to support three children. She managed to somehow establish that balance between being my friend, and being my mother.

She taught me important things, like how to write a check and track money, the importance of a good work ethic, that being myself was more important than fitting in, how to cook, how a lady and young woman should act, how to care for others, and how to fiercely protect our family.

My mother also taught me fun things. She wanted me to be safe, so she always said: If you or your friends ever are going to try something, please talk to me first. I'd rather do it with you guys, than you guys do it without me and be unsafe.

It was this reason why my friends and I all got drunk with my mom in high school for the first time together, and why I tried my first joint with her. From there my curiosity about such things were sated, and I was safe - and I grew up to be a young lady who would rather work and read than party.

In my adult years, my mother supports me unconditionally. She is hard on me, and sometimes her love and worry comes out harsh. We butt heads more than I am an adult, but that is only because she raised me to be as strong-willed as she is. But that is because she is my mother - and as she's come to realize it's hard to let go when your baby doesn't need you to survive any more.

Today, I am looking at my own daughter, and trying to sort out thousands of new feelings and worries. I had no idea that being a mother was so hard. We recently just fought off the flu together, and viral sinus infections and ear infections. The beginning of the year was hard on us.

I have learned so much being a mother. I have learned the world is 1000 times more terrifying than I ever even fathomed before I had a child. I don't know how I was so fearless all of the time.

I've also learned a ton more patience, and that love goes deeper than I ever thought it could. I have learned that I am vulnerable, and that I am so very very strong. Since becoming a mother I have been pushed to extremes that I never thought I could conquer. And I prevailed.

Being a mother is hard. And every mother who is a mother knows exactly how much deeper that phrase is than it seems. It's exhausting. It's full time. A mother never ever gets a day off. We have so much to worry about, but we most constantly be strong, no matter what we are worrying about on top of our children.

So here is my shout out of admiration for not just my own mother, and myself, but a shout out to every mother. For every mother that has gone through the countless sleepless nights soothing their babies, well into adulthood.

For every mother that has wiped every tear, soothed every toothache, earache and fever. For every mother that has rubbed away every tummy ache, hugged every nightmare away.

For every mother that has sometimes wrapped her arm around her beloved children just for a moment. Not because they needed it, but because you did. At that moment they are your only strength you have left, and they are the only thing keeping you going forward.

For every mother that has watched her child cry helplessly from their first broken heart, or their first betrayal from a friend. Unable to do anything but hold them together with your love, and been strong enough to hold in her own tears as she holds everything together.

For every mother that has watched her baby spread their wings and take flight to become the start they is meant to be. For every mother that has watched her baby fail and suffer and make mistakes that lead to pain, and never once ever stopped believing in them.

For every mother that has ever cried in the secret of night for her children, and her fears and worries. For every mother that balances work, family, loss, grief, herself, and all of the tedious never ending list of things we have to do.

For all of the mothers who love another woman's child like her very own. To all of the mothers whose hearts are so big that they step up and become stepmothers. To all of the mothers who taken in children who have nobody else, and show them that life isn't hopeless, and it can be full of love. And to all of the mothers who raise her children's children.

And last but by far not least, for every mother that has had to be both mom and dad to their children. For every mother who has continued on through a broken heart, and did it on her own, and made it.

As a mother, I know sometimes being a mom doesn't feel very heroic. Sometimes we feel beaten down, tired, and frustrated. Sometimes being a mother feel like the weight of the world on my entire shoulders. And I know I am not the only one.

But being a mother is so worth it. A mother knows that their child are worth all of the tears, exhaust, stress, worry, and emotional overloads. And you are heroes. Every single one of you. You are the center of your own universes, the glue that keeps your family together - no matter what shape or size that family may come in.

So thank you to my mother, and to every single mother out there. Thank you for being a mother. Because without mothers... where would we be?