The Many Feelings You Will Go Through

When it comes to divorce, your whole world is changing, which means that you are going to be going through loads of emotions. There are even days when you may be dealing with multiple feelings in one day! 

They say that divorce is like death, and you will be going through a grieving process similar to grief. You are going to be dealing with loss, and you need to give yourself plenty of time to do so. 

So what feelings may you be facing as you go through a divorce? 

You may struggle to get a clean break from your ex-spouse. Though you may think that once the divorce is settled, you are going to be done with your ex, the truth of the matter is that it isn't that simple! 

If you have children, you will never be rid of your ex. You are going to have to learn how to co-parent and communicate so that you can continue to raise your children together, as a team. 

If you don't have children, it takes a lot of time and energy to get everything divided and put into your name only. You may end up having to meet up with your ex several times until everything is finally settled. 

That being said, getting divorced can feel like a big relief. The stress of getting divorced can really take a toll. Not only are you essentially starting over, but you also have to divide up everything that you do own. Trying to figure out what is best for your children can be quite emotional, and heartbreaking. 

However, when everything is all said and done, and you are in your new home by yourself, many have said that all they feel is relief! Not only are they relieved to be done with the whole divorce process, but the stress of trying to make a marriage work is also gone.

You are going to miss your children. Overwhelmed parents may like to think about all of the things that they will do when they finally have some time to themselves (while their children are with their ex), but the truth is that you are going to miss them like crazy! This can be even more overwhelming in the beginning as you start to adjust to your new life. You are going to finally be alone, and it is going to be very hard.

It can be exhausting as you navigate your new co-parenting role. Learning how to communicate in a way that is best for the children can be trying and frustrating. Though the more time that you spend working on your new relationship with your ex, the better off your children will be. 

Are you going to want to be the parent sitting on the sidelines alone, or do you want your children to have a big family with both parents (and potential step-parents) all cheering them on? The more time that you work on coming up with a good solution, the happier your children will be. All of the frustration will be worth it in the end.

You may be surprised that you may end up feeling sorry for your ex. No matter how bad the divorce is, you are going to have complicated feelings for your ex. You were in love at some point, and those feelings aren't just going to go away. Even if the divorce ends badly, both of you are going to be dealing with some difficulties, and that can be hard to watch. You may see a side of your ex that you never had a chance to see.

Your physical health may suffer during this time, which may be more than you can deal with. Studies have shown that middle-aged divorcees have a higher risk of developing cardiovascular disease. Those who stayed married are less likely to develop the disease. 

Your mental health may also suffer. Divorce can really mess up your mental health. Many struggle with anxiety as they go through a divorce due to all of the uncertainty about the future. You may have to find a new place to live, and many have to find a new way to support themselves.

At some point, you are going to have to find a way to forgive yourself! Many people are really hard on themselves as they go through a divorce. They wonder what they did wrong, and what they could have done to prevent this from happening. This leads to a lot of feelings of guilt, which can be hard to move on from. However, you need to let go, learn from your mistakes, and move on!

You are going to go through a lot of emotions as you start the divorce process. You are going to be angry. You are going to want to beg and plead in order to stop the process. You are going to want to change. Anything that will stop it from happening. However, at some point, you are going to have to accept that your life is changing. 

As you go through these, you may find yourself with other emotions also. You may feel relief when it is all said and done. Instead of being happy with some extra time on your hands, you are going to miss your children so badly that it hurts. You are also going to feel guilty. Even though it hurts, you are going to have to deal with all of these emotions so that you can move on.

Previously published on Medium and/or Newsbreak.