The 11-year-old boy took the female classmate home, and his father went crazy when he saw such a scene under surveillance.

On the Internet, a father sent a post for help.

Because he is usually busy with his wife at work, he often leaves his children at home alone for fear of an accident, so he installed a camera at home.

Once I turned on the camera and saw that my 11-year-old child had brought her female classmate home, and the two were lying on the sofa playing games together and behaving intimately.

This scene really scared him and put him in a dilemma.

"I don't know how to educate him. I don't want to hurt his self-esteem, but I'm afraid that they will continue to develop and affect his study."

This worry resonates with many parents.

The topic of "puppy love" is no stranger to the parents of many adolescent children.

Therefore, I would like to talk to you about puppy love today.

Puppy love, is it a scourge?

What will be the reaction of many parents when they hear about their children's puppy love?

Puppy love is not good.

Puppy love will affect your grades.

Puppy love will make children learn bad.

Puppy love is not what a good student should do.

……

They regard "puppy love" as a scourge, and immediately think about how to "beat mandarin ducks" and make their children go astray.

The measure often taken is to join the teacher to supervise and sever all ties between the two people, or, more seriously, to beat or scold.

There has been some news like this before.

The 14-year-old girl was broken after being found by her father because of puppy love.

Similarly, another 14-year-old girl, after being known by her parents, her mother slapped her face without saying a word.

The behavior of these parents, as if puppy love is a stain on their children's life, can't wait to cover it up.

Just under this extreme pressure, it has led to a lot of tragedies.

Under the search of Baidu, there are many suicides about puppy love.

Parents don't understand. I stopped puppy love for the good of my child. Why would he do that?

This is because many parents treat their children in a "crushing" way.

If you are wrong, you will be scolded until you admit it, and you promise not to do it again.

This kind of education may seem convenient, but "crushing" is bound to bring confrontation.

Even children may choose to resist at the cost of their lives.

What's really scary is not puppy love.

Is without the ability to love.

There is a saying like this: parents and children seem to be face to face, but in fact there are thousands of gullies between them.

Maybe in the eyes of some parents:

My child is ignorant, he has no emotion, no sexual desire, no need for a man / girlfriend, no need to like anyone.

But in the eyes of many children:

"I need love, and I want to be loved."

This is a serious separation and misunderstanding between parents and children.

Many people have complained about their parents'"double standard" concept of love and marriage before.

When studying, they are afraid of affecting their grades, so they are strictly forbidden to fall in love.

After graduating from college, I was afraid that my child would not get married, so I urged her to get married crazily.

Parents are using their own ideas to control their children's lives, but they forget:

The ability to love is never achieved overnight.

Readers have told her story before.

When I was at school, I was ordered by my parents not to fall in love. Until I graduated from college, my relationship was still blank.

Not long after work, her parents began to ask her about love and marriage, and arranged wave after wave of blind dates.

At a loss, she was hastily pushed into the hall of marriage, and then accompanied by a series of accusations and disputes between the two, the marriage made her miserable.

Others, who were scolded by their parents in front of her classmates for falling in love in high school, always felt that she was not loved when she grew up.

Jane Nelson mentioned in her book "positive discipline":

"can you imagine how confused it is for a child to be punished for what he is destined to do because he or she is growing up? this can lead to a sense of guilt and shame."

If you make your child feel that puppy love is shameful, then the child may equate "love" with "dishonorable things", and he may no longer identify with himself.

Therefore, as teacher Wu Zhihong once said:

Sometimes, what is really terrible is not puppy love, but the lack of love ability.

In the face of puppy love: "Don't scold, praise."

"Love" is everyone's nature, but also a very important ability.

It's just that since we were young, we may have learned a lot of knowledge and skills, but seldom learned about how to love.

So much so that most of the time, we will be black and blue in love.

So, how to learn about the ability to love

There are probably two aspects:

On the one hand, it comes from the influence of parental relationship.

It is said that parents' views on marriage hide their children's future.

Children can see and feel "what love really looks like" from their closest parents.

On the other hand, it comes from the guidance of parents to their children.

Especially at the beginning of a child's love, it is the best time for parents to tell their children "what is love", "how to love" and "how to respect a love".

What can we do? what should we pay attention to?

Here are two suggestions:

First, rather than humiliating and suppressing, it is better to accept and recognize.

I had seen a speech by teacher Li Meijin before. She came into contact with a girl. Because she was in love with someone else, her mother scolded her a few words. The girl felt that she had no idea to jump off a building.

Teacher Li Meijin believes that parents should not scold their children in the face of puppy love.

Not only can not scold, but also praise.

"my daughter is wonderful. Being loved at such a young age shows that my daughter is very lovely."

After letting the child open his heart, the following persuasion becomes more smooth.

"Don't be so excited about this. Since someone loves you, you are still valuable. Why do you want to die? don't die. Waiting for others to love, we can also love others."

This way is regarded as a model for educating puppy love children.

In fact, not only in the face of puppy love, children have any problems, parental recognition is more effective than humiliation and suppression.

This is because people want to be right and be accepted, which is everyone's nature.

But if parents use words and actions to tell their children that "you are wrong" in the first place, then put the child in a confrontational position.

At this time, the child's heart door is also closed, no matter how much you say will not work.

Therefore, if you want to be able to talk to your child, it is important to keep the other person's heart open for you.

In the face of puppy love: talk generously about love with children

Second, rather than hiding it, it is better to tell the child generously.

The more you don't want people to know, the more curious you are, the more you want to know.

This law applies to anything, including "sex education" and "love education".

Very often, when we regard "sex" and "puppy love" as scourges, we are afraid that children will learn bad and go the wrong way.

Avoiding it is what we think is the best protection for our children.

But sadly, the proportion of juvenile sexual assaults and underage abortions is on the rise.

This is because, when we isolate our children from "sex" and "puppy love", children are more likely to make mistakes if they do not know what is right, what is wrong, what can and cannot be done.

Therefore, we might as well be generous to let our children understand.

There was a mother who talked to her daughter about puppy love in this way.

One day, my daughter, who had just been in the first year of junior high school, said to her nervously, "I have received a love letter from a boy. What should I do?"

The mother heard it, took her daughter by the hand and said to