Thankful for the Struggles

I am thankful for so many things. The obvious things like my five year old son, my grandma whom we live with, my good job, coffee (so much thanks for coffee). And the not so obvious things like my smart watch, my always full fridge, my reliable car, and Netflix.

But the one thing I am most thankful for this year is something most wouldn’t expect.

Because the thing I am most thankful for this year, is being a single mom.

I became a single mom this year (because surviving a worldwide pandemic wasn’t challenging enough). My now ex-husband was my son’s stepdad, really the only father figure my son could remember. Despite being a constant for my son and I, he had decided that it was time to part. It was the worst emotional roller coaster I had ever ridden. I thought I wouldn’t be able to stand on my own two feet. And I didn’t want to. I wanted to be with my person. But that’s not how life played. So instead of standing with my spouse I had to learn how to stand on my own, so I could stand by my son in his adventures through life. Through the experience of becoming a single parent, I have found an inner strength that I never knew existed in myself. I appreciate the special moments my son and I share now that wouldn’t have happened had I still been with my ex. I also appreciate my friends and support system so much more now.

Sure, there are plenty of times that I miss having a partner. I miss having an extra pair of hands to help with dinner and housework. I miss being able to take a breather while someone else tucked my son into bed (and the tradition of my ex singing my son to sleep every night). I miss having someone to fall asleep next to after a long day of work. And maybe one day I’ll have those things again. But for now I am my own primary person. I have to be, otherwise I can’t be my son’s person. We have adapted and created our own special traditions to help transition into our new life together (although it does not include me singing my little guy to sleep every night, because he has told me that I am not a good singer. I don’t disagree with him).

And for those reasons, and many others, I am thankful for being a single mom.