grief
Losing a family member is one of the most traumatic life events; Families must support one another to endure the five stages of grief and get through it together.
"Unacceptable behavior"
Memories of today are sorted in my mind into a file. It is titled "Worst Days of My Life," and this date belongs nowhere else. Today, the glow of everything being more or less OK in my life was blown clean away. One phone call changed it all, as I learned my mother has an aggressive form of a blood cancer that may take her in 18 months or less.
By Alice Freist5 years ago in Families
The Loss of a Loved One
Did you ever have that one friend that was always there ? The one that was your brother and had your back no matter what ? I have . Today I say goodbye to him even though I don’t know how. I’m writing down these thoughts to try and help me through this, and maybe help someone else in this situation. You live every day and never realize how short life really is till it hits so close to home it tears your life apart. You can’t think, eat , sleep , or move without thinking about the person in question. So many memories , so many plans , so many things left undone never to be finished. For me my best friends death did all of this and more as he was a huge part of my families life. My husband called him his brother and my kids called him uncle. We all planned so many things that now left a gaping whole in our hearts and life. I am starting this on the day of his memorial service so I can work through this as we go. We are preparing to have a memorial bbq and bon fire with other friends as it was Josh’s favorite thing , besides Dungeons and Dragons . No one however has the the emotional strength to play games today. I just keep playing the last conversation we had over and over . Could we have done something to prevent this. He was supposed to be home today he was a truck driver and today started his weeks paid vacation for being with the company for a year. Now we are all mourning Josh instead. This to unreal I just want to wake up as if it’s a dream. My husband is taking it so hard in our eight years of marriage I have only seen him this upset once and that was the birth of our first son Godryc. He was born premature and his heart stopped in my husbands arms . Although that story ends better he is now seven years old and healthy as an ox. He keeps asking how Uncle Josh died and why he died ? I’m not sure how to answer the why none of understand it. Josh was healthy and only twenty- seven years old . So how do explain a healthy young man going to sleep in his truck and never waking up ? I’m so tired of crying . I keep trying to laugh and joke but the tears keep coming. I cant talk without crying another reason for writing this all down as well. WHY WHY DID YOU GO? YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE HERE HOW DO WE ALL GO ON WITHOUT YOU?
By Rose Ulrich5 years ago in Families
Winter memory
Winter of 2009 late evening I remember the first time I’ve ever met my best friends. At first glance Taylor and Tyrone thought I was just another mute kid. I was with my older cousin at the time, they all had planned to go to a sliding party at their grandparents.
By Sebastian Harper5 years ago in Families
My mother was my home and warmth
Where else can home be found without your mother? But they say home is where the heart is, but what do you do when home leaves you heartless. When home becomes a house, bricks and a roof and insulation, but no insulation from the cold; Of the speech you absorb. From the words you chew, and cough up at 3am. And the roof doesn’t stop the rain, the foundation keeps cracking. And you find your soul homeless. Without your mother.
By sahdiya khatoon5 years ago in Families
Writings on Death and Grief
Over the past almost 6 years since my mom passed away at the age of 65 from alcoholism (and to be totally honest, my dad, brother and I were all quite surprised she made it to the age she did, considering many with that disease don’t make it that long, sadly), I’ve written quite a bit on the subject of death, grief and loss. I’ve come to realize that writing about it has been very cathartic and helpful for me in processing my feelings and my experience of it all. And has continued to be helpful since the passing of three other family members and my furbaby border collie son (all since the beginning of the pandemic).
By Caitlin McColl5 years ago in Families
Making The Most Of Life After Death
This one is for my aunt who was also my Godmother, who raised me right alongside my mother as if I was truly hers when my father was nowhere to be found. I never felt I missed out on anything. I always felt like I had two parents. My mother was the strict one, she was the more lenient one. I'd learn early to go to her when my mother said no. My mother hated that, but it usually led to me getting my way though. In her eulogy, I left out the part about having two moms before having two moms was really a thing. I left it out because most of the crowd were elderly Haitians who probably wouldn't have gotten it anyways.
By Nathalie Clair5 years ago in Families
Velma's Final Journey
At home with ALZHEIMER’S It is possible most know of dementia, that crippling disease of the brain; the torturous forgetfulness, that look of being lost, the ever-shuffling feet and unsteady gait. Clothes put in the wrong place; food placed in cupboards instead of the freezer or fridge. It must be a nightmare for those who are afflicted with the traumatic disease, or is it?
By Peter Bowden5 years ago in Families
The feeling of incomplete
It was the loudest yet most inaudible time of my life. I grew up in foster care and I was there until the age of 8 1/2 months. when I was three years old my grandparents decided to do Kin foster care which is basically where you take in a foster kid but there related to you. so, from the age of three to about 6 all I knew where my grandparents and my cousins. When I turned 6 my Gran father decided to allow my biological mother to enter my life. As a child I had always felt that something was missing, and I filled that void with books and an active imagination. I never forget the day I met her my grandma had dressed me up she did my hair nice, and I remember sitting on the porch and seeing this lady walk up and it felt like I was seeing myself in adult form. it was like any doubt or question that I had about myself went out the window. I instantly felt complete. Now I knew in the back of my mind she had gave me up and trust and believe my grandmother would not let me forget it, but I justified that it was probably 4 a good reason. as children and sometimes adults we tend to do that when something is not necessarily good for us, we tend to make up a reason to keep it in our lives, so I justified keeping her in mine. visiting her was awesome we did so many things she always had tons of toys, I always felt like she treated me special when I came around. and when I think about it know it is almost as if she was trying to make up for giving me away or missing out on parts of my life. The thing is none of that matters to me the fact that I got to spend time with her, and I got to meet my other siblings and get to know some of my aunts and uncles, that is what was important to me. as great as the Visits where they started to become shorter and sometimes, she would not show up. There started to become many excuses, not even excuses that she would tell me but excuses that my grandparents would say. well, maybe she just forgot, or something came up and she was not able to pick you up today. I remember sitting on the porch waiting all day for her to show up and she never came. I remember being furious and upset and just thinking how she could do something like this to me. that same day my granddaddy pulled me aside and he tells me my mother is sick and she's in the hospital I'm going to go visit her later on today would you like to go? now the child in me being so mad at her that she had missed visits not even hearing the part about her being sick, I figured I don't want to go I want her to feel how I felt when she didn't show up. if only I could take that back, if only I would have just gone. I wonder to this day would it have made a difference? If I went, would I have felt the many emotions or anger at myself? when the day that she passed came. that day was like any other day I remember waking up and I just felt like today was going to be a bad day. I remember hearing my granddaddy on the phone his voice was different it did not sound distraught just was filled with concern. I get up I walk out my room and he tell me your mother passed. that day was the loudest yet inaudible time of my life. what I mean when I say that is inside, I felt so many emotions I was filled with anger, I was screaming in the inside I was crying in the inside but none of those emotions translated to the surface, but tiny little tears that streamed down my face. till this day I feel like the tears that translated to the surface did not even justify the pain that I felt inside. Losing a parent was like no other pain I had ever felt before and I have been through so many things in my life. I just remember all the adults at her funeral telling me with time it will get better with time it will be easier and I feel like with time in a way it did get better but with time it got worse because Can you imagine having a child and your mother not being there Can you imagine getting married and you look out to the crowd and your mother is not there, so yes with time I learned how to push the pain down even hide it. but with time it created a person that in the future needed a lot of therapy and a lot of fixing. I feel like nobody talks about that part of death and why when you meet people or go to support groups of people that have lost their loved ones it is almost like a breath of fresh air because you feel like finally someone that knows what I am going through. because I would talk to my grandmother and I would talk to my siblings and I would talk to my friends, but I feel like you do not really know how to help a person who has lost a loved one that is so dear to them if you truly have not been through it yourself. But the crazy thing about is so painful I would not want anyone to experience that type of pain. So, At the age of twelve I learned regret and grief I learned at an early age to always say I love you and sometimes you will say goodbye forever. I was left broken and empty, and it took years to fix. I learned to hide my love and harbor the pain. Also, at the age of twelve I learned I had no control over anything that I was just along for the ride on this rollercoaster called life.
By Andrea Reed5 years ago in Families
6 Ways You May Experience Grief
Have you ever felt that you aren’t going through grief in the right way? If so, know that there are lots of different kinds and what you are experiencing is totally normal. Grief is that hard-to-describe mix of feelings after you lose a loved one or even a cherished part of your life, like a job you loved, or if your best friend moved away, and it’s something that we will all eventually go through.
By Caitlin McColl5 years ago in Families
