grief
Losing a family member is one of the most traumatic life events; Families must support one another to endure the five stages of grief and get through it together.
A Life Saver
A Life Saver “Thank you all for coming to celebrate Timothy Sr.’s life. I would like to express my deepest condolences to Mrs. Walker, Timothy Jr. and all of Timothy’s family and friends who share our grief. My name is Samuel Trainor. Many of you know me as Sam. Timothy, known as Big Tim to everyone, and I have been best friends for 22 years and we have been partners at LIJ Medical Center for almost 15 years. When Mrs. Walker asked me to give the Eulogy, I was honored and grateful that I had the chance to share 22 years of Big Tim’s life with him. Big Tim and I met in High School, and at first, we didn’t get along because our personalities were so different. He was just Tim back then and he was such a nice guy; always so helpful with the teachers, with our classmates, and even to the strangers on our bus ride to school. Me on the other hand; total opposite. He would always argue with me and tell me that I had no home training and that if his mom was my mom, she’d get me straight. After years of hearing that, I guess Tim sort of straightened me out himself because I made it through High School and I like to think that he also taught me how to be a nice guy. When we graduated, Tim enlisted in the Army where he served in Operation Dessert Storm for 3 years. We wrote to each other as often as we could and he never let an opportunity to tell me that he was grateful for my letters, pass him by. When I became an EMT, Big Tim always said to hold a spot for him because when he was done saving the country, he would come back and save our community. That’s the kind of guy that he was. Always doing selfless things without a second thought. He always wanted to make everything better. Even as a teenager in High School, he’d talk about how he was going to get his mother out of the projects and into her own home. I remember the day that he came back from the Army like if it was yesterday. Mrs. Walker, his Auntie Jackie, his girlfriend Bernice and myself all drove up to the base with such excitement. We were so happy to have him back in one piece and all we could talk about was everything we imagined he would want to do first. One of us thought he’d want to relax for at least a week. Mrs. Walker said, “I know my Timmy baby; he’s going to want to go straight home and eat some of momma’s food”. As we waited on Tim, we were so engaged in conversation that he snuck right up on us, grabbed his mom so tight and started swinging her around. Mrs. Walker was right; first thing out of Tim’s mouth was that he wanted some of her famous oxtails. If you knew Tim, you know how he got down with them oxtails. Less than a week had gone by since Tim had been home and he had already gotten a position as an EMT at LIJ with me. He couldn’t wait to start doing something meaningful in his community and saving lives was the way he wanted to do that. We worked the night shift, so there was a lot of down time and that’s when Tim and I would talk. Then him and Bernice and Little Tim and he was in love with that boy. All he wanted to do was make Lil Tim and his mom proud. Everything was about them. When Little Tim came along, he wanted to be an even better person. He wanted to be the best at everything and he wanted to keep learning all kinds of things. He was so smart. He spent all of his down time, reading and writing. He read 100’s of books on the ambulance and whenever we were dispatched to a case that he wanted to tell his Little Tim about, he would write about it afterwards in his little black moleskine book. He loved the job so much. Working without him is going to be the most difficult thing for me. He loved to save people. At the job, we called him Super Tim. Many of you know the tough guy Tim; the war veteran who was always serious but when Tim was in his element; administering CPR on a lifeless body that started to breath again, Tim would be so emotional. He never cried but he’d talk about it for the rest of the night and if we went back to the same hospital where we took that patient, he would sneak up to visit them and see how they were doing. That kind of a call would definitely make it in the black moleskine book. Big Tim was a real-life hero; in High School, at war, and on the job and I am going to miss him terribly. Thank you for letting me share about the life of my best friend. I love you Big Tim.”
By Betsy Munoz3 years ago in Families
The MVP
By Crystal Dishmon “Beep, Beep,”, Jared jumped up so surprised from the sound of the alarm ringing at 7:30 am despite having to wake up this time every school day, the alarm still took Jared by surprise. Jared pulled the sheets from over him and his nostrils quickly smelled the sweet smell of blueberry pancakes cooking. Jared jumped out of bed ran to his bedroom window to see the sun oh so bright. He was excited to start his day for several different reasons.
By Crystal Dishmon3 years ago in Families
The Den
He died alone. No one to hold his hand, did he reach? Would he had reached? 32 hours ago I wanted nothing to do with him. I could't of cared less about his well-being, now my heart aches for my poor father. Sitting on his old leather couch has brought back vivid memories of my childhood trauma. Screams between him and my mother silently fill my ears. The sound of shattering glass the time my mom picked up his little black book. The infamous book that he carried everywhere he went. She went to move it for the sake of dusting underneath it and boy did he get upset. He yelled nasty things then concluded with tossing one of her favorite china dolls across the room boasting about how he created something else for her to clean. I now hold this book in my hands just hours after identifying his frail lifeless body. This book caused so much friction in his and my mothers marriage, I once desperately wanted to burn it. Instead I now sit here tempted to read it. Feeling a little nervous as if were going to come through the door of his den, where I sat, and tell me how is isn't feeling like himself after a tongue lashing I would receive thanks to my cartoons being too loud or the beating mama would get because his supper wasn't hot enough, or hell too hot depending on the season.It was a good thing they never got around to having more children after I was born. Mama would never get the chance to relax in between two jobs because daddy's temperament kept him from holding down a decent 9 to 5. Mama had to work two jobs, still to have to rob Paul to pay Peter, she would always say. Nevertheless I now controlled the one possession that seemingly controlled him. A glass of gin with sprite and I sit together, just as he sat with his whiskey and coke. Tears riding the rims of my eyes and my drink at my side as I clutched the book. Now thinking back, I'm more like him than I care to admit. Here goes nothing, I thought to myself as I slowly turned the first page being careful not to rip them. "I NEED HELP." The sentence on the second page read. I didn't understand, why did he need help? my heart sinks into the pit of my stomach. The next page, "GOD PLEASE FIX ME." Fix what? why is he calling on God? Skipping several pages I run into, "WILL THEY LOVE ME? WILL THEY UNDERSTAND." This got to me far more than the first page. I can't stop the tears from flowing. The book was filled with one and two sentence pages that didn't get any easier to read. It was as though he pondered about these sentences because on every page there was doodling that filled the rest of the pages. In hopes of finding something positive to read I stumbled across the most heart-wrenching sentences, "SHE NEVER GOT TO FORGIVE ME. RIP 08/24/2020." The date my mother's life ended after contracting COVID-19 from either her job as a cook at the convalescent home or maybe at the warehouse where she worked the line assembling first-aid kits. irregardless she didn't make it and he cared. He didn't show any emotion at her funeral. I was certain he was relieved she was gone, and now I know he did in fact care. "CHI THIS IS FOR YOU." He gave me that nickname when I was in grade-school. What was for me? more and more questions. Just as I turned another page the home phone rings. I watched it for a second. Then I realized they weren't giving up. I answered with the most annoyed tone to see to it that the person on the other end knew first hand that I wanted nothing to do with their conversation. "Yeah?" that ought of make them hang up, I thought. "Chi?" the voice exclaimed. "Yes," I responded. "My name is Erik Nelson. I am your father's attorney and conservator. do you have a moment?" I sat quietly in confusion. He continued. "When your mother passed she had a fifty-thousand dollar insurance policy so that in the event anything happened to her you and your father would be taken care of. Well shortly after she passed your father hired me to help him set it aside for you." "Why me? I don't understand. Why did he need you?" I asked softly. "Chi, your father was diagnosed with Schizophrenia right before your mother passed and he thought it would cloud his better judgment with the funds from your mother and hired me to help. He place the money in a savings account for you and also signed the deed to the house over to you if anything were to happen to him." I couldn't believe it. Daddy not only died alone but lived alone. He never shared anything with us and suffered in silence. The conversation that seemed like forever ended as quickly as it began and Mr. Nelson hung up with the intent to meet with me the following day to go over more detail. I turned the last page of the book and there it was. A photo of my mother and father in the hospital the day I was born. Mama holding me while daddy grinned a grin I can't say I had seen very often. The caption read, "I never knew how much I loved you until I would wake up someone else and not even recognize who you were, but I'm myself today and I know I love you both more than I love myself. "
By Mimi0hMy693 years ago in Families
A Picture Is Worth A Thousand [Dollars]
George died on January 28, 2021. He was born in 1932 to a Pennsylvania Dutch family, making him 88 years old and the owner of over 10 authentic German steins. George amazingly had 8 children from two different marriages. Two of his children were present when he transitioned from Earth to whatever lies beyond. Despite being pumped with morphine to numb the pain, he opened his eyes, shed one tear, and was gone.
By Erica Young3 years ago in Families
Aunt Silva's Diary
"Services for Silva B. Hilton, 91, a lifelong resident of Anderson County, will be at 1 p.m. Saturday at Mound Perry Baptist Church with the Rev. Lonnie Joe Doyle officiating. Burial will be at The Barrett Family Cemetery under the direction of Bushy Creek Funeral Home.
By Ricky Brown3 years ago in Families
The Little Black Book
“If you are reading this, it means I AM DEAD.” Words you did not expect to see. Shocked. Devastated. Sadness filled inside you. You look at your sister’s gloomy, pale face with tears in your eyes while slowly lifting your hand to her coffin. In your other hand is a small black book left to you by your sister, which the lawyer insisted that you do not open until the wake. Shuddering, the next few words mystifies you. “Please DO NOT read ahead. I need you to TRUST me. YOU are my everything and I LOVE you.”
By Rebekah Obst3 years ago in Families
The Book According to Dennis
The weather was beautiful, the day we buried my dad. The sun shone over the rolling hills of eastern KY; I had seen it many times before, yet that day was unlike anything I had ever witnessed. My dad was in the air, I could feel his energy. The quick wit and authority made everything go just right.
By Windy Wonder3 years ago in Families