Surrogate Parenthood

We are living in an age of declining global birth rates due in no small part to falling rates of fertility in both men and women.

Many people, particularly those who chose to be childless will say - that’s a good thing. After all, the world is closing in on eight billion inhabitants and laboring under declining resources, global warming, ocean degradation, and vanishing species. All these are very important issues and arguments against unbridled parenthood. However, on the flip side, there are couples who for whatever reason cannot produce children and who would make very good parents. Why should they not be provided an opportunity of parenthood or to add a new family member?

Adoption used to be the answer years ago. Prior to the widespread use of modern birth control methods, every country had a pool of babies or children available for adoption. Those pools have declined with many governments refusing to allow their unwanted children to be adopted outside their country's borders. Those that do, have made it almost financially impossible for the average family to adopt foreign children.

The opposite side to the people who argue against unlimited child production is an argument I subscribe to. Who will the next Darwin be? Who will be the next Joan of Arc? Who will the next Einstein be? The next Marie Curie? Of course, these are unanswerable questions. We don’t know. But, the world needs great minds and great talent if it is to raise itself out of the quagmire we are now in with global warming, wars and genocide and climate change, and all that these foretell. Every child that dies or is aborted instead of being adopted out could have been the next great mind this planet needs. However, this is one of the great unknowables.

Surrogacy goes back a long way I would imagine. The first print mention of surrogacy is in the Christian bible’s book of Genesis when Sarah, who was infertile, requested that her handmaiden carry her husband Abraham’s, child. However, it is thought that as humans have been dealing with infertility since time immemorial, the history of surrogacy can probably date back to millennia before the printed word. Amongst the Zulu people of Africa, their belief is that marriage is an arrangement for the continuity of life. Where the continuity of a family or a clan is threatened due to infertility, the family of the infertile wife can arrange a substitute for a female relative to bear children for the husband on behalf of the wife.

The first successful artificial insemination or IVF (In Vitro Fertilization) of a woman was completed in 1884 although this was carried out under very questionable circumstances. However, it did pave the way for the successful implementation of the IVF procedure as is in use today.

The first actual legal surrogacy was carried out under a court-approved agreement, brokered by a lawyer in the United States. This was a traditional surrogacy, and according to reports at the time, the surrogate did not receive any compensation for the pregnancy. The lawyer used this experience to establish an infertility clinic that would continue on to arrange hundreds of surrogate pregnancies a year and does so to this date.

There are many countries around the world that prohibit surrogacy in any form. Many countries prohibit commercial surrogacy but allow altruistic surrogacy. A few countries, such as the United States permit both. Canada permits altruistic surrogacy. Women who become surrogates do so out of the goodness of their hearts to help others achieve the dream of extending their families. And this leads to the reason for this story.

My youngest son and his wife have a delightful son, my grandson. He has a great sense of humor, is overflowing with curiosity about everything, loves running and playing games, and is badly in need of a sister or brother.

My daughter-in-law is unable to have more children after being diagnosed with cervical cancer that required chemo and radiation treatment. They managed to save several eggs that were then fertilized and stored. One of these is now waiting for a surrogate.

Therefore, the purpose of this post is to see if there is a reader of this post who can assist, either as a surrogate or by knowing someone who is willing and able. Or, just by passing along this story. My theory is that if this story reaches five people, who in turn tell five people and so on, then maybe my son and his wife can strike gold.

The following is Jason and Katya’s story.

We are Jason and Katya, and we met and fell in love in 2010. Since then we have enjoyed life together in Vancouver and also several years in New Zealand. We love to travel, camp, play board games, tend to our garden, and (pre- covid) go to pub quiz nights. In 2017, we moved back to Vancouver so that we could be close to friends and family as we planned to bring a child into the world.

In early 2018, I gave birth to Oscar. We were overjoyed at his arrival. He is now 3, and his perfect day would include telling you the names of vehicles, stick collecting, eating olives, and spending time with grandparents. He brings so much joy to our lives. Unfortunately, when Oscar was 8 months old, I was diagnosed with cervical cancer. I went through chemotherapy and radiation, and while this treatment worked in fighting my cancer (for which we are so grateful), it also meant that I cannot carry any future pregnancies.

We would really like to have another child, make Oscar a big brother, and complete our family. We are hoping to find an amazing woman who can be a gestational surrogate for us. There are no words to match what it would feel like to be able to find someone to go on this wild, exciting, and emotional journey with us; for someone to be able to give this gift to others and change their lives forever is beyond amazing. We look forward to building a strong relationship through the “getting to know each other” early stages, then the pregnancy, and much beyond that. We know this incredible woman would become an extension of our immediate family and our wonderfully supportive extended family.

If you are interested in talking with us and getting to know us, we would love that! Please don’t hesitate to CONTACT us anytime. Thank you for taking the time to read our story. If you have questions on surrogacy, click HERE

If you have any comments, disagreements, or additional information on this post, please contact me through my website.

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My direct email is handshakeconsultantsATshaw.ca