Surprises

Sitting here in an empty house full of his things wondering where to start, thinking about all the things I wanted to say to him now never getting the chance to say them. The BITCH!! The one thing I always ask her for all my life was to know my dad, what was her answer, when she was ready. When she was ready what kind of "Fd" upped answer was that. She has known him most of her life and supposedly has known how to get in touch with him whenever she wanted, so why make me wait, I am his daughter. She has told me and my sisters over and over again that he left us all when we were little and she had know idea why. She blamed him for everything and said he ruined her life. Of course over all the years she married two other men who according to her up and left her and ruined her life and over the years she managed to blame me and my sisters for ruining her life as well. I guess she never could take the blame for the choices she made, so her life suck because of the people around her not because of her own life choices. Anyway that is a whole different story.

My dad just died three days ago after my mom got to see him after 24 years and a random search in the phone book for a K-Mart in Anchorage Alaska. There in the phone book she found his name Kipp, Richard. She thought what the hell I will call to see if it is him and sure as shit it was him. They got together for dinner that night and had a great time according to her, even made plans to have breakfast the next morning. However the next morning instead of my dad showing up for breakfast the cops showed up at my mom's hotel to inform her he had passed away in the night of a heart attack. My mom comes home to Juneau and tells me all about meeting my dad again after all these years, the good time they had, the plans they had for breakfast, then how he died, but it was ok because she had made peace with him and that made in some way she had given him the ok to let go and die. The BITCH!!! What right did she have to give him permission to go I wanted to meet him, I needed to see him, I needed him to know that I LOVED Him, and I needed to know if he Loved me.

We just flew up to Anchorage for his funeral and for the first time I am meeting my Uncle William, My Aunt Laura and my Grandfather. Unfortunately my Grandfather has server Alzheimer's so he thinks we are her for his wife's funeral and ever time he sees me thanks me for coming and can not remember who I am. My Aunt and Uncle are really nice and have told me as little about my bio Grandma who was divorced from Grandpa when they were mid-teens and died in the loony bin. They both also told me dad did not leave mom, she left him which I believe, because earlier in life I found out from my step brother from my mom's second marriage that she left him too, and she left her third husband as well. My mom is the worlds BIGGEST LIAR!!

Any everyone has left me alone in dad's house to today to take what ever I want before they go though and get rid of everything or give it to his other friends. I guess his bedroom is a good place to start. The closet door is open there are boxes in there so seems like a good place to start. You know how when you watch a movie and a kid who has been adopted or is missing a parent is always saying" I need to find my bio parents so I know who I am" well I think that is crap. I always knew who I was: Little chubby kid now I am a fluffy , do not like sports except swimming, little shy but now I am a little chatty , loved to collect things of all kinds, hate the heat, love the snow, like dogs over cats, love photography, love coloring, love horses, love music of all kinds with very few exceptions, kept my room a mess but had to have the rest of the house spotless or mom rain down hell on all of us. So say u don't know yourself because you don't know your bio parent or parents is a crook. However going though my dad's stuff now I know where I get some of my traits. He has a collection of comic strips, old calendars and rocks. He also has two cameras and several photo albums. There is a little black book with pictures of me and my sisters from when we probably 2, 1, and 6 months old, the last time he saw us. My mom never keep any of you pictures not even the school pictures she paid for. I guess he really did Love All 3 of us.

Looking through the little black book I see he used it as an address book, memo pad, and doodle book. I noticed that on ever third page there is a string of 10 numbers. The only thing with 10 numbers is a phone number, but why write it on every third page? Wait it stopped a third of the way through the book and on a page that has a list of names. My name, my sister's names and a name I have never seen before: Erin Rene Kipp with her birthday 07/14/1974. She must be a half sister, I need to ask the relatives when I see them later today. I if the phone number is hers. Should I call her and tell who I am and ask her if she knows about dad ?

So after going through the house, getting what I want, and talking to the relatives I do have a half sister. I showed my Uncle the number and he believes it might be hers, but he is not sure. I ask if he knows how else I might get a hold of her and ask if she knows about dad? Both him and my Aunt have no idea how to get a hold of her so don't believe she knows about dad. After the funeral, the goodbyes, and the flight home to Juneau, I just can't seem to get my thoughts together. I am still pissed at my mom, depressed from losing my dad, I pissed at my dad for not getting to meet him and still trying to decide if I should call the number in the little black book. So two weeks pass and I bite the bullet and dial the number. "Sorry this number is no longer in service. Please check the number and try again." So that is why he stopped writing it down, it also explains why all me and my sisters' names our listed on the same page with the last number was because he was thinking about all of us, but because of our mom he never knew how to get a hold of us. The BITCH!

I am going on vacation to Seattle WA just for a week to clear my head because I still have not been able to get over my dad's death, finding out I have a half sister and not being able to find her. Ever since I found the little black book I have been carrying it around with me. Sitting in the hotel trying to figure out what to order for dinner I have the little black book sitting on the beside table top next to me. After ordering Chinese food, I start to plan what I am going to do on this trip. You see I am one of those people who travel without a set plan and just go with the flow. I check out the places to visit, places to eat and how to get around town before I go somewhere. I print out the information before I go so I can take it with me so I can decide what to do when I get there. So going through my papers I decided for the first day I have to get my lottery tickets. So what numbers should I use? Normally depending on where I on am vacation I spend $10.00 on quick pick and $10.00 on pre picked numbers. However this trip I was not really thinking about the lottery, but I have always played because I have: FAITH, HOPE , & PIXIE DUST. So I decided to spend $5.00 on quick pick and $5.00 on pre pick numbers. So because my sisters have been on my mind I decided to use our birthdays as my pre pick numbers along with my dad's birthday. So the drawing is Friday for the Mega Millions, before I fly back home. It has been a good week my mind has cleared, the sadness a little less but still there but I am not falling into that black whole anymore. I am watching the news to see the lottery drawing. OMG they just picked 4 of my numbers and the power ball. I am going to have to stay until Monday to go to the lottery office to see what I won. The numbers were my sister's Erin's birthday. Holey crap I just won $75,000.00!! What am I going to do next?

I am back home after all the paper work and photos taken for the press after winning the lottery. Yes, it was only $75,000.00 but to me it is Huge, because after the IRS and the state of Washington takes their shares I am left with a little over $20,000.00. Most people I hear go crazy and spend it all within a month or so, I pray I can keep it longer than that. I decide to of course pay off all my bills which means I do a deep drive into credit karma to see who all I owe money to from the past to the present. I pay my rent up for six months, pay the electric company in advance at least six months, and all the outstanding bills from credit karma. Still leaves me a big chunk of change. I have always wanted to travel and have planed many trips, in fact I have binders full for each country I want to visit. Inside the binders are maps, postcards, and printouts on place to eat, see, and stay when you go there. I never fully planed a trip like I said I prefer to just go with the flow, but now I have the money and I have the time I can actually pick a binder and plan a trip.

So what did I do with the money after paying the bills? I split what was left in third:

First: invested in company stocks that I like and a IRA retirement plan for me.

Second: Bought a life insurance policy and set up a small trust fund, right now my sisters will get the money but when I have kids they will get it.

Third: IRELAND & SCOTTLAND were GREAT !!!!!!