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Starting My Adoption Journey

by Chloe Gilholy 8 days ago in adoption

Making The First Steps

Starting My Adoption Journey
Photo by Clemens van Lay on Unsplash

When I was a child, there were two things that I had always wanted to do: write and publish a book and go to Japan. Coming into the end of my twenties, I've written many books and been to Japan twice. There is another wish that I've always wanted, but not until today did I feel it was time to make those steps: adopt a child. The reason I want to adopt a child as opposed to just having biological children is that there are so many children out there that need families. I used to like the idea of adopting a child abroad, but realistically that isn't possible with everything that is going on. It just feels right for me.

People think it's strange, but I have basic human desires that I am entitled to act upon. I've been told I can't adopt because I live on my own, rent a property and work full-time. I was pleased when the social worker that hosted the meeting said those are not true. I had so many questions that I learned about the process. I'm very nervous about telling the rest of my family and friends. Close friends, I have told they were very amazed and positive. My friend Maddy is really happy because it means that her daughter has a new friend. We've agreed to help each other out.

I don't have any biological children myself, I may have them in the future but because of symptoms of PCOS, there's a very high chance I'm infertile and it means I'm at a high risk of miscarriages. Everybody keeps asking me when am I having kids, and they make me feel like I'm missing out. On the other hand, I get told that I should just have sex with a random guy and get pregnant. Not my style.

I haven't given up on birth children, but I feel like this is my calling. I work in a nursing home, whilst I was in college I didn't know what kind of job I wanted to do. After getting work experience, I knew I wanted to work in care. My work experience included schools, nursing homes, day centers and supported living.

I contacted my local adoption agency, and they invited me to a virtual meeting with many other people. I was nervous and worried that living alone would be a disadvantage. To my pleasant surprise, I wasn't alone. The meeting introduced me to lots of useful information and progress. All the information was overwhelming, and I still have a headache but it fueled my desire to adopt a child even more.

I would love to adopt siblings to keep them together, but realistically, I'd probably only be matched with one child as I am living alone. I felt that this agency is the right agency for me because they celebrate diversity and work very closely in my area.

The upcoming challenges will be continuing to keep my mental and physical health in check. I will need a lot of references and a bit more experience with children won't do any harm. I can't go into full details of what they said in the meeting because of confidentiality issues, but I felt supported and part of a big family even though I had never met them before. Tonight, I've been listening to a podcast called #youcanadopt and I was moved.

I've recently been diagnosed with autism and waiting for an assessment for epilepsy. I've struggled with depression, but I am in a better place mentally. I feel settled and I feel ready to open my home for a child.

Chloe Gilholy
Chloe Gilholy
Read next: Understanding the Effects of Addiction on the Family
Chloe Gilholy

Healthcare worker from Oxfordshire. Author of ten books including Drinking Poetry and Game of Mass Destruction. Travelled to over 20 countries.

See all posts by Chloe Gilholy

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