Starlight

I am home alone, at least for the evening. Darkness fells across the small town I call my home. The snow finally melted and the heavy clouds floated southwards so that this night offers me a clear look at the million stars lightening the horizon, when I step outside on my little balcony to smoke.

From the inside of my room sounds music from the broken radio player; David Hasselhoff singing his ‘Song of the night’ that will go over into his ‘Flying on the wings of tenderness’. For the first time in this week my bruised sould find a little bit of rest, however, I know what nightmare still lays ahead of me.

But this is far away tonight. While I zip on my cigarette I look up at the stars. And from one moment to another I remember the words my late grandfather once told me, when I still was too young to understand its meaning. Now, few days after his sudden death I start to understand what he told me then. Still, my mind tries to tell me that it cannot be true, however, this is the time where I start to believe. And I can see the comforting knowledge in his words.

Knowledge is nothing when you don’t have faith as well. To gain knowledge you have to have faith into the facts, as my teacher at school always says. Faith is something, that science might never be able to explain, yet it is the beginning of gaining knowledge. And this eveing I realized that I believe; yes, I believe in the sparkling souls of our beloved people.

I am home alone, standing on my little balcony and looking up to the starlight that is as far away as it is closeby, just like the memory of a summer love, You still remember and cherish this love as it has been yesterday but you know it was a long time ago. Now, this love is far away, however, the memory’s still close to your heart; too close to forget the taste of its sweet kiss and yet too far, to feel it again. When you travel along the memory lane you should not listen to your mind, you should feel what your heart is telling you. You have to believe in the mighty knowledge of your feelings and whatever they try to explain to you.

Here I am, finally realizing what my grandfather told me a long time ago, when I was a young boy, barely old enough to cherish such a knowledge.

He told me, that starlight is the magic light of love sending out some hope into our dark world. You can feel its tenderness everywhere around this planet. Wherever you are, whatever you do, it will fill your heart with love and always lighten up the spark of hope you need. This is the way, our ancestors take care and watch out over us. Whenever, wherever you can see the starlight, their close to listen to your sould, to heal your bruises and help you by relighting a new spark of hope.

David Hasselhoff invited my mind to fly on the wings of tenderness, when I realized what mighty power my grandfather gave to me. I finally understand that this unreachable light will keep us together; under its grace we will become united in our souls. It will make us fall in love, lighten our feelings in hard times and when we feel the blues, it will comfort us and create new hope so that we can carry on the legacy.

A light smile occures on my face and the emptiness I felt all week faded out and gave it place to a deep and satisfying gratitude. A gratitude to have known the man my grandfather have been, to have walked on earth side by side for a while with him. I suddenly understand that love also means to let go. And man, how could I ever feel alone, when I am surrounded by a million sould watching over me?

No, I am not home alone anymore as I’ll never ever feel alone again. I know that starlight is the eternal power of love, the power of endless faith in our hearts, given to us by a universe that loves us and gives a loving home to every soul, dead on earth or alive.

Looking up to the stars, walking beneath their light will always comfort me from now on. Even when I think that there is no hope, it will send down a spark that will enlighten the hope in my heart again.

© 1995