Speaking OUT - Part 1. Born in Pain.

Pain. For the longest time I wasn’t sure where it was coming from. I was in pain all the time, even now I’m in pain. I didn’t get by a car or fall off a horse. I didn’t join a wrestling team or play much sports. But still this pain all over, did I sleep walk ?

Nope. But I damn wish I’ve had!

So than why?

I was born into pain. Born into a world of nothing but darkness and sadness. How so ? Well best way to describe, some babies are born into a rich family, born into athletic family, born into a drug abuse family but me I was born into painful family.

Family that off the bat had it bad. From generations of neglect, physical sexual and drug abuse and poverty. So how am I suppose to make it in this world if I was Fucked from the start?

My mother saw her parents killed infront of her as a young girl in Tanzania, Africa. She grew up with her brother and than moved o England. Thats all i know of her. My father, he was born in Africa as well. Uganada.

He was born as a triplet but the other two died some what after they were born. Him and his family had been ran out of Africa when Idi Amin took over. He was a very very bad man. They than moved to Canada.

My fathers father passed way in my fathers teens. He passed away from alcoholism and so did my uncle. My fathers older brother. My father now has one older and one younger sister. Another family member passed by being murdered. He had got his head chopped off, we had to have two funerals. So now this brings you to me.

I am “I” - Jasmine. I am the girl who grew up in pain.

The moment I was born, my mother got up left. Handed me right off to my wonderful magical father. Back than, 1980s-1990s not many peaople were informed bout Post portum or of any mental health in the case.

At first, everyone thought she got up and left cause i was born with chicken pox. I had what is called "Kawasaki Disease." Maybe she thought I was going to die but whatever the reason, she just wasnt having it. She did not want me. My father worked as delivery man, as a sewer, anything that he could do with me round. He told me he use to put a bottle towards his chest as a nipple so i would drink milk. He would drive. around for hours til i Fall asleep.

I was born in England. I came to Canada when i was 1 or two years old.

I guess my Father and mother figured it out but not for long, because i was living with them until my mother kidnapped and took me back to England. Reason being "Shes Stupid' Well thats the answer when I ask my father. He doesnt even lnow why she took me. Especially when she never wanted me to begin with.

My father than sent money to bring me back. Oh how my father loves me and I love him. Later you'll understand why he is so amazing. I put the poor man throught hell and back and hell a couple more times.

We came back to Canada, Vancouver BC. My mother was a whore. There is no nice way to put it. She slept with everyonwe the neighbour, the pizza delivery man , the fucking. milk man and even my fathers best friend. At some point my dad finally said fuck it.They got divorce and they went some what thier own ways, still in BC. I thought cool, ill get two birthdys, two christmases, two of everythng.Im totally winning as a child. i lived with my mother fulltme. Not knowing the reason was cause she was getting child support and money from my dad and oh yeah, she sold me for SEX from the age. of 5.

Yes, you read that right she realized that I was a her lottery ticket. Why not be a hooker and also give guys the chance to be with an underage child with no reprecussions. Because 20 some years later. Nothing has happened to any one, noone got hurt. BUT ME.