Solo Parents

Solo Parenting. It can be insanely painfilled. Then heart bursting with a love I'd never dreamt of feeling.

It pulls at my energy.

Its stretches my heart strings.

Its tears up my nervous system.

I am responsible for everything, for the three of us. The caring and nurturing comes quite naturally BUT the other stuff ....shit its like having to have two different personalities.

Some days I feel like I'm losing my mind. I bet up on myself, I let the pressure and guilt get to me and some days I am not proud of how I have led my family.

How can a heart hold so much love and awe but at the same time be completely broken?

In amongst the daily grind of routines, meals, rest, and play comes a four letter word. Its the W word that I wrestle with week in and week out, I have to go to 'work'?

Now there's a challenge for my sense of humor. Never did I envision my life would look or feel like this. To be it ALL on some days (actually most days) can be too much to bear.

I hear you, I am incredibly blessed. That's another voice in my head that pipes up telling me not to feel sorry for myself as I have two healthy and gorgeously spirited children. I really have nothing to bitch and complain about.

Here's another voice:

Is it selfish to just want to be of serve to my little ones ( and not the greater community) and just grow these two leaders of tomorrow?

Where the hell do I activate that consistent ambition to be the great business women and teacher? I am in awe of solo parents who can gracefully navigate this role with their good health in tact.

Here's the thing. I am a nutritionist of 20 years and my health is not what it should be. I am a solo parent full time without family close by to support. My New Years Resolution looks pretty different to the average food coach.

Parenting solo is a whole lot of pressure especially if your highest value is to be a present parent committed to the nurturing. My nervous system still hasn't integrated all the demands along with the nurturing so I am making a wish for this new year.

I wish that my nervous system will stop the random trembling, it makes me feel sick and fragile.

You may not tell by my smile and my physical appearance, its also my blood work that is screaming 'Hey, what's going on. You can live more. Health is your thing. Get it together!'

Its my mental health that has me quivering and questioning 'Why does this hurt so much? How can I do this better?'

Its my spirit that has forgotten to have fun. If there was a playfulness barometer than mine most days registers a big fat zero.

My spirit needs an overhaul to bring in a fresh start.

My spirt needs a kinder, smarter voice.

For me its not the foods I eat or the supplements I take - it will be the thoughts I lead myself with.

Good health is not lean abs or youthful looking skin, its breaking through levels of being at breaking point and conquering my thoughts.

Clean eating will be replaced with clean thinking as I start to feel deeper into what I am committed to and what great health really means.

Lets start here:

As a solo parent I feel deeply committed to the kids friendships, creating space for consistent playdates, picnics and pizza making. Relationships matter!

I feel a deep commitment to their emotional literacy by taking the time to slow down and investigate, every and any emotion that bubbles to the surface.

There will be no conversation off limits in our home as we share, explore and move through our challenges, wins, changes and surprises. Yep, I need to take the lead here!

With my parenting and health values defined for this coming year, I will now share my personal Fresh Start Recipe for the Solo Parent. This recipe deserves to take up a BIG space on the fridge, its daily Soul Food :)

Super Hero - Solo Parent- Recipe

Ingredients:

Smile

Appreciation

Be Kind To Yourself

Curiosity

Poise

Directions:

Take your smile, appreciation for your little family and talk to yourself like you would your 6 year old self, be gentle and kind. Take hold of your challenge and re - think it. Re- shape it and flip it into a positive and empowering memory.

Ignite a sense of poise and balance as you laugh at life and activate the fun and playfulness that is there to soften each moment. Bring forward the curiosity instead of fear and fatigue.

Serve with a dash of daily exercise, raw conversation with friends and a meal or drink shared with someone you love xo

Alongside this recipe card that will sit on my fridge will be these great words from Einstein

Imagination is more important than knowledge

I can think and feel my way to great days, that will lead to great weeks, eventually fantastic months and my best year yet owning what a great achievement is to raise a family solo.

While I sit with my daily coffee I will contemplate, I can choose my thoughts. I don't have to chose the shitty ones (I do notice it's easier to choose the shitty negative victim thoughts) it will take some training and effort like training a new muscle.

My mind is not a camera but a projector, I am sure you have heard this often so I am open to having some fun with this concept to build an extraordinary new year, again, with the help of Einstein's wisdom.

Imagination is everything. It is the preview of life's coming attractions.