So Much Spring Cleaning

My interpretation of spring cleaning has changed drastically this 2021 season. For the first time in my 35 years, I am seeing spring cleaning as a time for spiritual cleaning, unlimited self-care, and healing inside and out. My 2020 could have been the most traumatic year of my life, however, it is a year that I will be forever grateful for. In the midst of a global pandemic, remote working with two boys, a Masters degree, and being a wife, I was able to bring myself out of the deepest depts of my own past, and emerge into a beautiful butterfly. After 17 years I had to walk away from a marriage. A marriage that almost killed me both mind and body; however, it only made my spirit stronger than ever. I connected back to God and accepted feedback from others. This feedback helped me to believe in my inner goddess again and fight for my freedom to be the person I deserved to be.

This year spring cleaning has been filled with disconnecting with the material world and connecting again to my spiritual self. I have always faced some of the hardest barriers in my life, and always found the strength and courage to overcome them. This will be no different. I will no longer let the past hold me back from the love that I deserve in my heart.

My boys took a hard hit in 2020 as well. Suddenly their parents could not hide the fighting. They heard things they have never heard between their parents. Luckily, I have very empathetic boys and they knew something was off, they knew things were not good. I was raised to think that staying together for the kids was the best, and I had to see the horrible damage that was caused to my children. Damage that I also carried from years with my parents in the same situation into my teenage years.

The day I left was a day of determination and freedom. The only thing I took was my kids, my dog, and a few bags of essentials. I had planned this day to every last detail. I had to run away, literally. All I can remember telling myself all through the day was that you got this far just keep going, do not look back, you know this is the right thing to do, your angels are with you. The day after I left I got the keys to my home, a new beginning. I had the whole place furnished in 7 days. I had so much support it was unbelievable. After six months I had finally landed on my feet. I am more grounded and focused on my own future.

Amongst the chaos, I also found my soul mate. A beautiful soul that accepted me for all of my faults, my overthinking, my terrible memory, every inch of my body, and low self-esteem. He found a way to bring me back to the my old self. I am happier than I have ever been in a relationship. I can tell him anything and get the most honest feedback. At first I did not listen to his feedback because I’m stubborn. I do not like conflict of any kind, so I shut down. Now I am actively listening when he talks and also providing feedback on his opinion. We have overcome so many things that we both struggled with. Both of us spent years in unhealthy relationships that only held us back in life. Held us back from being our true self.

I have done a lot of material cleansing this season, cleaning out closets, dusting baseboards and finally getting that cobweb down in the kitchen. These things used to make me feel defeated when they were not in a certain order. It felt like a volcano of ADD and OCD, sprinkled with anxiety and crippling fear erupting over and over. Now, everything is a goal set and an accomplishment. Every accomplishment, no matter how small, is a victory. Every victory now makes me feel like an Olympian winning a gold medal.

My best advice for spring cleaning this year, put everything in the past where it belongs. Don’t let the chains that have held you back from accomplishing your dreams continue to prevent you from being your true self. Every day should feel like spring cleaning, a time for new beginnings. A chance to grow and evolve your energy. You are a beautiful soul and deserve everything you have ever dreamed of. Ask for help when you need it, laugh hysterically, take the offer for help when it is presented, open that business, dance in the rain, never feel alone your spiritual guides are there for you, believe in yourself, love your mind, body and spirit for you are a beautiful soul.