Single Dads: It’s a Small Club, Right?

Did you know that the percentage of single fathers in the US has nearly doubled to 1.6 million since 1980? There are a lot among us. The census counts probably overlooked a few as well. The growth rate for single dads is 6% per year, twice that of single moms. That means that among us guys, about 15% of households are headed only by the dad.

AT THE MOUTH, DOWN? REFLEX YOUR THOUGHTS

It's pretty simple to adopt a "Poor me; I'm just a single dad" mentality. One reason is that stereotypes are promoted wherever we look. Stop and consider. What phrases and words emerge if you consider yourself a single father? "Mr. Mom." Father is absent. Alternately, "Deadbeat Dad." Before becoming a single parent, you never thought of yourself this way, correct? What exactly does this mean for you as a father right now? It doesn't. You're more valuable now than ever—more of a stabilizing force and a required dad.

I can still see my early days as a single parent. I don't particularly appreciate thinking back. At the time, my children were only one, as well as 3. I was interested in Winnie the Pooh, nursery, diapers, and baby bottles. It was a moment for cuddling, caring, and wiping away tears. and observing them leave. The most challenging Christmas might have been that one. I watched them go as Mom's week began on the afternoon of the 25th, and I felt sick. You recognize the punch, I mean. It reminds you of the initial one you received in the third grade.

MAKE A GOOD CHOICE, AS IT IS YOUR CHOICE.

I made the decision then and there that I could either live the remainder of my life feeling depressed or I could act in the best interests of the kids and myself. By becoming a proactive single dad, I chose the path less taken. My most significant resource was the time I spent with the kids. Even though I had to support them, my career satisfaction was nothing compared to what we accomplished as a team. We accomplished a lot as a team, too. It was a period that could only be invented by a father. However, there is a clear message that mothering is at the heart of parenting.

A DAD COULD BE A MOM.

Single fathers are supposedly expected to raise their children just like mothers do. But what takes place? We utterly fail. Or we leave. The kids are miserable as a result. Growing up as the sole father should come naturally. Just keep in mind to bring them up the way a man would. Moms do have a method of parenting children, but so do dads. Our methods of expressing love and humor differ from those of mothers. It was never meant to resemble a mother.

"A dad's way" – what do I understand by that? Interacting with the kids. This can entail having them sit on both sides of you as you read aloud from a sports article. Alternatively, you may chuckle about the laundry pile and go fishing, knowing the laundry will still be there when you return. I remember strolling with my daughter when she was around four years old. We wandered the town's alleyways while admiring vintage automobiles and barking at the kenneled dogs. We started throwing rocks into a gorgeous mud pool that we had discovered. As you could have predicted, we were involved and covered in muck quite quickly. A mother showed up. She was appalled. She gave me a confused stare when I said that children were "wash and wear." I doubt she had thought about it quite that way. Kids adore the fact that dads are unique.

Enjoy being a man and a father.

Know that you are not alone, no matter what you do. Recognize that being an active single father is fun. Get dirty, be a dad, be a guy, and let the laundry pile up. Above all, disregard the expectations placed on you by stereotypes. Try not to be a mother. Avoid thinking of yourself as "nothing but a single father." You will quickly get nowhere with that outlook.

I'll leave you with a few more numbers. This one is straight out of Newsweek, in an article headlined "It's Not Like Mr. Mom." The authors write: "...and they're not the stereotypical affluent widowers or fathers raising just males or older kids." while describing single parents. According to a recent survey, two-thirds of single dads are divorced, but 25% have never been married, and only 7.5 percent are widowers. One-third of the men look after preschoolers, and 44% of their kids are daughters. Keep your head high and relish being a father. Don't let anyone make you feel inferior.