Shirley, You've Been So Good To Me

Moving around from one house to another all over London wasn't easy for me as a child. Before I turned eight, I lived in seven different houses that were all in different neighbourhoods. Some of the areas where I lived weren't as safe as seemed and some didn't have the amenities that a parent wanted for their child such as parks and leisure centres for kids to enjoy. My parents were also going through a divorce which was difficult for me to handle at the time. So having many birthday parties in several houses and witnessing my parents going through their darkest moment is a memory of mine that will never be forgotten. With all the switching and changing from one house to the next, I never had a place to call home until my grandma introduced my mum, brother, and I to Shirley. No not Shirley Mcclain, Shirley the small town in the South of London or preferably known as the edge of the British Capital.

It was August 2008, I never knew what a home was until we settled into our house in Shirley that had everything we were looking for. My mum thought the house was too good to be true as the price she paid for the house was nothing in comparison to the previous houses we lived in as they were much smaller but closer to central London. Our home in Shirley has a garden that leads onto a park where my brother and I used to go and ride our bikes every day during the summer months and four bedrooms that my mother wanted for us to have so no one would share a room. But not only was the house a breath of fresh air at the time when we moved but the town Shirley itself was like no other. With acres of greenery and a forest that had unseen wildlife you wouldn't find anywhere else in London, I knew when we first came to the area that we would be here for a long time. But eight-year-old me thought a long time would be for five years then we would be back to house hunting again. But I was wrong. Twelve years later, we're still living, eating, and breathing in the same house and neighbourhood that I'm proud to call my hometown.

Thinking over and over again about what's it been like living here for the past twelve years, I've concluded that there are too many reasons why I call Shirley my hometown. However, over the past few of years, I've learn't so many things within the Shirley community and faced a truthful challenge which has given me a lot of confidence that eight-year-old me would have never thought of doing. So it may seem weird to you but I've taken into consideration that this beautiful hometown of mine has definitely made me into the human being that I am today.

You're probably thinking how a small, suburb town with trees and wildlife is responsible for molding and shaping young Bethany? Well, you need to keep on reading as I'm about to tell you. Likewise, there are many features about Shirley that I can tell you for hours and hours but if I'm going to make my hometown shine to the world then I want to dive into the true spirit of the community, town, and the restaurant that has made a huge impact on my life. If grew up in any of the previous neighbourhoods that I lived in prior to Shirley, I definitely would of never experienced the amazing circumstances that has changed me to be a better person than I was ten years ago. So let me not waste anymore of your time and dive deep into the four reasons why Shirley has made me who I am today.

Small Boutique shops

Everyone loves a good window shopping from time to time. Especially in London, everyone tends to do their big shopping spree in famous places such as Oxford Street and Westfield shopping centres. It’s nice to brows around the retail shops in these places but one thing I discovered about shopping in chain retail stores is that you end buying the same items that everyone else has. There was one time where I bought a beautiful black fluffy jacket from Top shop for a bargain price due to the end of season sale. However, whenever I would wear it I always noticed that other people walking along the streets had the same jacket as mine. Even for home furniture items, I used to shop around in Next which is another massive chain retail store, but when I used to come around to stop by a friends house they always had the same items that I would have in my home such as candles, fairly lights and even pictures frames. This was definitely annoying for me as person that wanted to be different and unique but to also showcase my personality through clothing items and home décor. So how do I find a place that has my taste on style and fashion but is not a well-known retail store?

Despite the many years that I’ve lived in Shirley I never had the opportunity to explore the small businesses that make up the town. It wasn’t until two years ago that I went window-shopping within the small boutique shops along the main road of Shirley and I was nothing but surprised in what these shops had to offer. It was a complete shock to find out that these small retail businesses have been around for many years had items that I was looking for which included distinctive fashion items that I would wear occasionally and stunning home decorations that were really good quality but also not too expensive. Since I discovered these spectacular boutique shops that are down the road from me, I’ve become a regular customer to the shops that I’ve been in the most and have scored plenty of discounts on items I’ve recently purchased as the owners of these shops have known me for quite some time. But how has this experience made me who I am today? I’m glad you’re so curious to know.

Often when I’m trying to find a holiday destination, I tend to look at the shops in the area and to see whether or not I can buy memorable items where I can’t find anywhere else within that particular region. I’ve always said to my friends and family there’s no point going on holiday to a place where you can experience the same culture and activities that you can do at home. That goes for the same with shopping. Whether I’m at home or oversees I always shop in places the locals would go to so I can buy a range of individual items that not many people would have back at home. But I would never had been doing this if wasn’t for me visiting the small boutique shops in Shirley for the first time two years ago. Its made me realise there are so many villages, towns and small shopping districts which are hidden within your city or region and offer many distinctive fashion or décor pieces that are high quality and could be more valuable to you than buying items from chain retail stores. Not only do these hidden outlets provide me with a different range of products but they also made me appreciate small businesses more and the need for supporting them so they can be delivering the same service and unique items for generations.

Neighbours

From when I was little I was very conscious into who I interacted with. I’ve always tried to ignore the good in people whenever they spoke to me and just gave dirty looks to strangers who were trying to get to know me on a personal level. I was the cute small girl with the chubby cheeks when I was younger that everyone used to go “ahhhhh” to. Then I just used to stare at them with a blank face and give them the leave me alone signal with a moody expression.

I still do this to this day but of course I’ve let my guard slightly. Yes I said slightly not fully. But if it wasn’t for my lovely neighbours I would have never been the person to give a smile and hug to people I just met.

When we moved to Shirley back in 2008 we were welcomed by two of our next-door neighbours as they gave a greeting card and flowers for my mum along with a box chocolate for my brother and I. As much as I was chocolate addict back when I was child, I didn’t trust a random gift from the strangers next door. I thought it may contained poison or bleach which was very bizarre but I just never had the trust in finding the kindness of strangers. Reflecting on this day twelve years later, I’m a actually upset that I never tried the box of chocolate, it looked really delicious but it's a shame that my tongue never tasted them. If only I knew how kind and giving the neighbours would be in the next twelve years of my life then I wouldn't have been the grumpy, miserable girl they knew me for in the first fours years of knowing of them.

Over the years the neighbours in Shirley have been nothing but supportive and kind to others around the neighbourhood. Whenever we have new neighbours on my road, we all welcome them with open arms and give nothing but love and friendship when they first move in. It feels like its a tradition that we all have become immune to and I'm nothing but proud to be a part of a small community that spreads love and kindness to others around us whether their new or someone that has been living in Shirley for years. This is something I will always be grateful for as its made me realise there's nothing wrong with showing affection to strangers or people who you don't normally speak to. Without the small community love that I've become a part throughout the years, I would never had the confidence to have open conversations with people outside of my age group and not be afraid to reach out to people that I may not know whether it's through social media, people on public transport or the new neighbours across the street. Of course I'm always watching out for the suspicious ones but 98% of people that we will come across day by day our genuine, nice people that are supportive and loving in the same way that I am. God knows what my personality would be like today if I never lived in such a loving community, probably would of been the same eight year girl that never showed love to anyone.

Scenery

I never appreciated the amazing view I wake up to every morning and never really admired the forest down the road from me only up until now. For the past seven years, my mum has always told my brother and I to make the most this house and town as we will be moving very soon. Well were still here, but that thought might actually become reality for next year. As much as I would love to stay in this beautiful hometown of mine forever, there is big world out there that is waiting for me to explore so unfortunately I will have to let go at some point. But for now I'm making the most out of everyday of being in Shirley as I never really considered how lucky I am to be living in one of the most beautiful towns in outer London.

For all the years we've been living in Shirley, friends and family that come to visit us has always said that we live in such wonderful neighbourhood but I never really quite understood where they coming from. But now I know why. I've never came across a town in the capital besides from Shirley where you have acres of greenery and a large forest which probably has more wildlife than London Zoo alone that you can wake up to every morning. It's only until recently I've never actually had the time to explore the hidden the nature that this town hides but I'm so glad I'm able to take in all in for next year and half before I say goodbye.

Even though I'm making the most of Shirley, being here has enlightened me to know that there are many hidden towns and scenery that most cities will have that are not known to tourists and even locals. Similar to finding the small retail shops in cities, If I ever go to a major tourist destination such as New York City, Singapore or Tokyo I'll always be on the look out to visit the secret gems of these cities such as small towns and villages like Shirley that many people won't discover. Shirley has given me the appreciation to know about different areas of London that not many people will know and has definitely made me want to go beyond tourist hotspots wherever I travel. So when I'm looking up my next holiday destination on Expedia, I know for sure to do some good researching of to find out what else a place has to offer besides from the iconic landmarks that others won't see.

My First Job

Let's go back to the thought of me being a shy, miserable girl back when I was eight. Being around friendly neighbours has broken that shell of mine, but my very first job at the Local Italian restaurant where everyone goes to in Shirley has really made my confidence grow.

January 2019, I wasn't as shy as used to be but I was still very nervous when it came to interacting with new people, but the nerves came out when I landed my very first job as waitress for Romeos at the bottom of my road. On my very first day I came with an open mind and a positive attitude as it was a new chapter of my life for entering the world of work. It felt like the confidence that I've built up over years came to this moment when I was putting on my apron and brand new white shirt but all that confidence and positivity that got me into the job came crashing down. My first couple of weeks was a complete nightmare as my stuttering habits came alight when I was speaking with customers and my training for the job was not going well as I kept on messing up orders and dropping meals on the floor whilst I was struggling to carry three plates.

It wasn't until I was two months into the job that my manager who goes by the name of my Lorenzo had a sit down with me and asked "what happened to the person who was at the interview?". He was referring to me, but I completely understood where he was coming from as it felt like I went back to being fourteen year old me of being the unconfident girl with the stutter. He gave me a warning after that meeting, and gave me five things I need to work on:

1. Posture

2. Smile

3. Being relaxed

4. Speaking Slowly

5. Being you

After that meeting I thought about the five pointers and I must say that was the best advice that someone has ever given me. I was doing the complete opposite to the these five pointers and that wasn't bringing out the best of my abilities. So as my time went on during my role at Romeos it became clear that these were reasons why I wasn't able to handle myself during my first two months. But not only did these five pointers have a benefit to my role at the restaurant but it also made a massive impact on my confidence outside of the workplace. Smiling with others, standing with pride, feeling relaxed within the present moment and being comfortable with being me are all the things that has made my confidence grow throughout the past year and I owe it all to Mr Lorenzo.

I worked at Romeos for six months but throughout my time, Lorenzo came like a second father as he was always looking out for me and making sure that I remained myself at all times so customers and others outside of work could appreciate me for me. He also made me feel as if I was part of his Italian family as the name Romeos is actually his fathers name who started the restaurant back in 2005.

As of today Romeo is still a thriving business for the Shirley community that I go to visit every couple of weeks to takeaway their delicious sourdough pizza and of course to check in on my former work colleagues and Lorenzo. If it wasn't for this extravagant pizzeria on the corner of the Shirley main road I would I have never pulled off the tricks to being the confident, bubbly person am I today.

I owe it all to Shirley

I don't know who I would be without Shirley if wasn't for the amazing community, beautiful land and small businesses. The three boutique shops that I keep on going to and seeing the unharmed wildlife in the forest of the town has enlighten me to go beyond places where no one will discover when I go to a destination abroad. Then the most kind and loving neighbours around the neighbourhood has showed me that theres nothing wrong with being friendly to people who you don't normally speak to and giving me the courage to use small acts of kindness to strangers around me if they need help with anything or just wanting to have friendly conversation. I never knew this little town in London would have changed me for the better in recent years I certainly would of been the confident Bethany that I am today if Lorenzo never told me the five pointers for me to be me that I'll continue doing for the rest of my life.

It's been hard to write about Shirley in a way that has changed me. As I won't be in this brilliant hometown for much longer, I will always come back for the occasional visits and will never forget the pure joy of this wonderful community that will be within my spirit forever. Despite me being born in another area of London, I will always say to people that I was brought up in Shirley and this is where my home will always be. Ten, fifteen, twenty years into the future I hope to bring my children here one day I say to them that this is where mummy grew up. I'll show them all the boutique shops and hopefully take them for pizza at Romeos one afternoon so they can meet my Italian side and Lorenzo if he still around. This hometown of mine will never be forgotten and I couldn't have asked for a better place to call home for the past twelve years.

Shirley you've been so good to me, I don't think I would of been the amazing person I am today if it wasn't for you. Thank you!