Role model, who are you?

Hey Mom. I never told you this before, but...

I never felt like I had a role model growing up.

The one person I knew as my "father" changed our lives forever. He chose to sell drugs over his wife and her child.

I remember it as if it was yesterday. Our apartment was broken into by the police in the middle of the night. I still remember the screams, the barking of our family dog, and the sudden terror brought on by the men in uniform taking away the man who promised to give us a better life.

Then, there was silence.

Alone in my room, cowering in fear as a four-year-old who had barely begun to scratch the surface of this new world I was brought into, I learned quickly just how cruel this life can truly be. At the time, I didn't know how to process it. Bear "ran away" or something to that effect. The snakes, Jake and Damian, disappeared with Bear, slithering out of my old reality as I entered a new one. Even now, 21 years later, I still live in fear that everyone I love will eventually leave me and that I will have no say in the matter.

But our lives continued.

The years continued to pass us. I remember you getting me my first video game, Super Mario World on the Gameboy Advance. I could finally escape into another place made of bits and pixels, where the turtles flew, the dinosaurs talked, and the mountains blinked curiously.

I blinked curiously, too. The world of video games soon became the only place I felt free.

After my adventures with the red-clad plumber came to an end, I ventured into other universes that allowed my mind to explore places I could never go, for a few hours at a time, at least. It was there that I soon found people I could look up to, even if they weren't flesh and blood.

I jumped into another land soon after, leaving home with aspirations of being the best, like no one ever was.

I made new friends along this uncertain journey. The small, fire-breathing lizard I adopted from the eccentric scientist in our hometown soon grew into an enormous dragon that helped me travel to parts unknown. I bought a fish from a sketchy salesman that everyone thought was useless.

I felt useless in those days as well, so I trained up that magic carp that no one else believed in until finally, he too became an awe-inspiring dragon of the seas, letting me explore the oceans on his back with a terrifying roar. Of course, he was still the cute little fish I knew from earlier in our excursions at heart.

You always said that no matter how big I got, I would still be the little boy that came from your womb; a continuation of your blood and culmination of your love.

Against the odds, I became the champion of the world with the help of my cute (but powerful) companions but I quickly decided I would leave that title behind to search for someone that could push me to achieve my dreams outside of the realm of electronics and games.

An incredible surprise; I realized that all of these characters shared a trait with you I did not appreciate before.

They were all heroic to those they loved.

Then, I remembered all the work you had done for me and our family. You toiled endlessly to give us the life we wanted. You never stopped, even when you were tired. You never stopped, even when the world did what it could to set you back.

You were never defeated.

You were always my role model.

I just didn't know it yet.