Read a book at ten o'clock

Author: author of the contract at ten o'clock

"there is only one real luxury in the world, and that is the relationship between people."

Everyone expects to have a comfortable relationship, but rarely thinks about what to do to make the relationship look tiring and tiring for a long time.

As the saying goes, everything in the world can be followed.

As I walked, I just realized:

Those relationships that are comfortable with each other all understand the "Sanqi Law".

Three points of advice, seven points of respect

Have you ever had such an experience:

When something happens, someone will always give you all kinds of advice as someone who has been there before.

The frustrating thing is that if you don't accept his advice completely.

The other person will either try their best to convince you or fall out with you.

In many moments, advice is given too much, which will only alienate feelings gradually.

Netizen @ Lin Qiqi shared such a thing.

When she volunteered for the college entrance examination, her cousin suggested that she major in accounting so that she could find a job after graduation.

But she insisted on choosing the English major she was interested in.

Never thought that when she couldn't find a suitable job after graduation, her cousin insinuated that she should have majored in accounting in the first place.

Not only that, her husband changed jobs some time ago.

But the new job is so far away from home that she decided to change to a job closer to her husband in order to make it easier for her husband.

When her cousin learned of this, she immediately advised her: "at your age, it is very difficult to find a job. There is no need to take risks."

When she changed her job, her cousin teased her that her new job must not be as smooth as her previous one, and advised her how to please the new leader and so on.

Such things can be found everywhere, and netizens will be very uncomfortable every time I meet my cousin.

In fact, in the eyes of a thousand people, there are a thousand Hamlets, and everyone has his own way of living.

If you don't wear other people's shoes and walk through other people's paths, you have no way of knowing what others are going through.

Advice that is out of line is actually interfering in other people's lives.

Moreover, your suggestion may not be able to solve each other's problems.

What's more, if you give the right advice, others may not be grateful to you.

But if the advice is wrong, others will vent their anger on you.

A comfortable relationship is giving the other person the right advice and giving him room to think about it.

No matter what decision the other party makes in the end, he will not tell him what to do.

This is not indifference, nor ruthlessness, but respect for this relationship.

Long-term relationships are not suggested, but respected.

Three points go with fate, seven points cherish

The world is so big that nothing is to be surprised at.

Some people lose their feelings because they don't cherish their feelings.

There are also people who cherish this relationship too much and are drifting away.

My friend Xiaoyue is the latter.

A few years ago, Xiaoyue was reunited with her classmates who had been separated for many years, and both of them cherished this encounter.

On weekdays, Xiaoyue always takes care of her classmates' affairs in order to maintain this relationship.

As long as her classmates are looking for her, she will take the time no matter how busy she is.

Every time Xiaoyue sees something interesting, she will buy one for her classmates.

Until once, Xiaoyue asked her classmates to eat and go shopping together, and the students said they had to work overtime.

But Xiaoyue was furious when she saw her having dinner with others.

The two men argued for a few words and finally broke up in discord.

After that, they were out of touch.

Later, Xiaoyue learned from others that her classmates always felt very tired when they got along with her.

Moreover, the things she gave her classmates did not like.

Life is filled with all kinds of uncertainties, and we have no way of knowing at which intersection we will be separated from our friends.

We will inevitably cherish it for fear of losing a precious relationship.

But to take each other too seriously is not to cherish each other, but a way of communication that is out of measure.

As Wu Zhihong said:

The weak sense of boundary is the reason why many emotions have become sharp weapons of injury.

If everything goes too far, fate will come to an end.

Cherish too hard, not only can not improve each other's feelings, but will make each other feel suffocated.

The most comfortable state between people is that we don't know when we will be separated.

But we cherish the present, gather and break up and follow fate.

If you want to let the feelings flow for a long time, when dealing with people, please do three points with fate, seven points cherish.

Three points left blank, seven points paid

Lin Yutang said:

Seeing the clouds in the sky, it turns out that life is not too crowded, it has to be empty.

The same is true of feelings.

If you love someone again, don't try your best to give, but leave a little blank for yourself.

In the TV series "our Marriage", there is a plot that makes me deeply moved.

Shen Comet is a top student who graduated from a famous university, but after marriage, in order to support her husband's work, she raised children full-time for six years and took charge of big and small things in the family.

But on one occasion, when her husband was drunk, he said that their happy life depended on him working outside alone, ignoring the hardships of raising children at home.

Even her husband thwarted her attempt to transform her spare room into a piano room.

On another occasion, she followed her husband to a financial circle sharing meeting, which she also wanted to attend.

But the husband felt that she had been out of work for many years, so she was only suitable for enjoying flowers and picking chili peppers like other wives.

All the things in front of her made her feel extremely cold.

In order to give herself a break, she simply went out to look for a job and let her husband look after the children and do the housework together.

When she saw that her husband had bought her daughter an omelet that would litter everywhere, she did not remind her husband, but watched her husband clean up the omelet alone.

No matter how busy the husband is, as long as it is her turn to take the child to do the housework, she will not interfere.

Soon after, her husband finally understood her difficulties over the years and was full of gratitude to her.

There are fewer and fewer quarrels between the two, and life is getting sweeter and sweeter.

Deep love is not longevity, wisdom is bound to hurt.

Smart people, often will not give without reservation, they will always leave three points of space for themselves.

Because they know very well that if they give unreservedly, they will inevitably want something in return.

If you don't get the return on time, you will be lost.

If you lose more, you will feel resentment.

As soon as there is resentment, it will not be reconciled, life will be sad, and the relationship will not last long.

Leave yourself three points blank, don't pour out everything, the relationship will be happy.

Read thousands of things in the world, just know: family affection, friendship, or love, too hard relationship, doomed to long; with too deep love, doomed to scars.

The really comfortable relationship is never closeness, but we are close, but leave gaps.

As the writer Bai Luomei said:

"the real love, light and smooth, is placed there quietly, and it never needs too much effort."

Shar