Problem Picture

by Forrestt French 4 months ago in divorced

Adventure

Problem Picture
NEVER ENDING GUILT

It more than seems when I leave my family it’s for the best reasons even though it always feels horrible doing. This time I’m starting yet again, a new career in a new industry. This could be life changing!

Telecommunications training was going smoothly in Dallas, TX and my brother Chris and I found some freedom to explore the city so naturally as millennials - we headed to the mall! Without being paid yet from work, we obviously ventured for the fun of things and OH BOY did we have fun! Now when I say “we” I mean ME, Chris isn’t much of a shopper as he is a theater moth. “Dude, the movies are LATER(;” I’m into big companies like Tesla and they HAD . A . FREAKING . TESLA . STORE!!! It made my day so worthy, being able to sit in the model Tesla I want with 20 random children who were hogging the game. “Stanky lil thangs, I just want my picture!” I got the picture and we headed out for some food court.

Now, OBVIOUSLY I’m about to flex and post this picture everywhere there is to post it showing how cool I think I am. I thought it would be silly to prank a person I’m close to (X-wife) and tell her I got one. This WAS NOT the right thing to do, Momma was not happy. The floodgates holding back the overflowing past have been BREACHED!!!! All I’ve ever done wrong is about to surface at an instant, my brain could potentially pop. I call this the BOOM.

I got the BOOM 💥 🤯

Every possible thing bad that could be said to me, was said. Trash can father, scum of the earth, etc. ( just the norm ) All of that made my sitting in a Tesla not so fun anymore because now I have to have this big ol’ conversation I don’t wanna have. (That somehow I started) But hey, what’s a man to do?

“Why don’t you want to see me happy? Why does my success scare you? How come every time I’m trying my hardest you say I’m doing my worst? Do you want for me equally? I hurt you but, when will you feel even? Why do you just say you love me? How come you can’t forget the times you’ve helped me. Can’t you just trust that in these past 5 years MAYBE IVE CHANGED? Every time I look at you I wish I could change time for us, do you understand that? Do you understand that no matter how much past you hold onto it’ll never stop me from becoming better for us everyday? Will you just WAKE UP and see that I’m sorry for breathing around you? I love you.”

Hopefully one day she won’t be so mad at me if I get a Tesla, she knows I’d share! I hope maybe from sharing this someone who relates gets to read it. This was not such a personal issue for me, this has become normal over the past 5 years for sure. I need no PITTY. I pitty the fools(:

Y’all know how it is.. Right? At least she still loves me for soooomethiiiing, idk what. Lol

Maybe because I put up with that ass! As a choice.... I guess I’m not allowed to complain when I’m the only one consistent with trying to resolve issues and grow from the relationships past itself. I learn lessons man, never really fucked up the same way twice, just twice as much everyday 😅

ANYONE ever find the resolution to making your ex wife love you again? Obviously my DeLorean is currently out of service. Fucking modulators and tranny vaccs.

divorced
Forrestt French
Forrestt French
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