Please Daddy

by Joy Ergang about a year ago in parents

Talk to me.

Please Daddy

Please daddy, I want to get through at least a week without you yelling at me. I rather you talk to me rather than you going at the top of your lungs about what I did wrong. I'm scared of you, daddy, for so many reasons. I want you to help me to learn from my wrongs instead of walking away and not do a thing. I feel like I'm being raised more by a monster than a daddy. I cry myself asleep at night wondering why you don't love me. A roof over my head, clothes to wear, food to eat, and all the other things mean nothing to me, because love cannot be bought. There's nothing more than I want than you spending time with me. You might not think you're being a bully, yet you hurt me more than you realize when you call me names and yell at me. Sometimes I don't even know what I did that makes you so made and turn into a monster. I want you to stop making me feel like I don't belong, when I get enough of it at school. Please daddy, I'm too young to be thinking about running away, and to be dealing with grown up issues. I should be learning from you instead of wanting to run from you. The way you're treating mommy isn't right. When you're not home she cries, and talks to herself of how much she wants to leave you and take me with her. She loves you, yet she needs to get away from you for a while because of the stress you put her through. Please daddy, for once stop thinking that you're God's gift to mankind, and for once, realize how much stress, pain and agony you're causing to the ones you say you love. Please daddy, talk to me. I want to know how to make things less stressful for you. I honestly don't want to live with a monster anymore. Please daddy, listen to me. I want you to prove your words and be the father you claim to be to your friends. I am ashamed to go with you, because I'm only there for you to show me off like a one -trick-pony. You are never truly there when I need you the most. You are physically present, yet you are in a completely different world when you are home. Mommy could really use your help around the house instead of you constantly chastising her for not doing things the way you want. The way things look around here, especially the basement, I'm surprised I'm not taken away yet. Please daddy, I don't want to live like this any more than you do. I want to be in a family that brings each other up rather than one that's constantly fighting. I want to get through this together before it's too late. I don't want to live like this any more. I shouldn't be living in constant fear of if I'm going to be taken away or will end up dying. I need help so bad that I don't even know where to turn. What do I have to do to prove how terrified I am, daddy? I truly feel that I don't have a voice and no one will listen to me. Please daddy, please talk to me at my level instead of treating me older than I already am. I don't want to grow up too fast and regret the childhood I never had. Enjoy the time we now have together instead of wishing in the future of not having precious memories. Please daddy, spend time with me because tomorrow isn't promised.

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Joy Ergang

Avid poet and writer.

See all posts by Joy Ergang