Parents, Don’t Lie to Teenagers, Even If the Goal Is Noble

Even though many have gone through this period, each teenager has his journey, some simply navigate, others are crushed by stones along the way. They all face a unique set of challenges shaped by personality, family, school, entourage, religion, and culture. However, certain psychological problems are universal in adolescence. When faced with the difficult task of parenting as a teenager, understanding all of these issues will help you decide when to take a step back and when to move on.

Psychological problems of adolescents:

• To reconcile with their new physical appearance,

• To develop a new emotional identity

• Resolve the issue of differences between the norms and values ​​of their partners and those of their parents,

• To establish and express their moral convictions,

• To develop a sense of responsibility,

Demonstrate the potential to support themselves

A key issue for teens and young adults is finding out what kind of people they want to be, what kind of job they will have, and what principles will guide their lives. This is a partly conscious process, partly unconscious. In trying to find their identity, teenagers can try several roles: dreamer, cosmopolitan, cynic, politician, entrepreneur, etc. Some teenagers seem to discover themselves early and directly, others seem to need more time and go on several paths until they find their way.

Adolescents need to be emotionally separated from their parents to realize who they are and what they want to be. However, much of their personality resembles that of their parents - not only because they inherited their genes, but also because they have shaped their development after them all their lives. Now they have to defend themselves.

Taking risks

Adolescents tend to see themselves as invulnerable. It is difficult to talk to teenagers about this perception because it is based on the fact that it has always been good for them and they expect it to always be so. The logical approach to the situation often has no effect, teenagers live in the present now and not in the hypothetical future.

Not all risks are harmful

A teenager who rides his bike across the country or spends several hours practicing skateboarding acquires skills, forms a good opinion of himself, and learns to judge. Mistakes, as long as they are not serious, are great sources of learning.

Taking risks - however - also has a less pleasant side. The child who experiments with cigarettes just to be popular will probably end up addicted to nicotine. Alcohol consumption is a form of risk-taking that can easily end tragically when a drunk child gets behind the wheel of a car. Illegal drug use can lead to abuse and addiction in both troubled teens and those from stable families. Sexual activity is another way teens try their luck.

The challenge for parents is to help teens take risks in a controlled way. Education on the dangers and dangerous behaviors of cigarettes, alcohol, drugs, and irresponsible sexual activity must begin before adolescence. It is good that many elementary and middle schools teach these subjects, but parents need to get involved as well.

Parents need to find many opportunities to discuss family values ​​with their children and to teach them by example. It is also wise to avoid putting your child in situations where the temptations may be too great. Allowing a 16-year-old child to stay up late to work at the school newspaper is helpful and encourages responsibility. Leaving a 14-year-old teenager alone at home on a weekend is simply an invitation to take risks.

Parents often wonder what they should tell their teenagers about their past - about the risks involved - usually drugs and sex - during adolescence. There is a fear that the teenager will think, "Well, it doesn't seem to have affected mom and dad, so why not try it too?"

Of course, parents do not have to confess everything to their children, but lying to them is not a solution. In the end, the truth comes out, and when a child finds out that he has been lied to, he loses the trust he had in the things his parents tell him, he will not be able to rely on their advice when he needs it.

In a way, lying to a child separates him from the most important source of support. If you're asked by your child about something you don't feel comfortable talking about, just say so.

Although many teens struggle with their parents' values, almost all of them care about what their parents think of them. Let the child understand that the thing you care about most is that he or she is safe.

Above all, he must know not to get in a car driven by someone under the influence of alcohol, because the consequences can be sudden and permanent. After that, you might expect him to stay away from alcohol, cigarettes, and drugs because they can also be dangerous.