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Parenting with ADHD

by Marina Turpin 3 years ago in children

When You Both Have ADHD

When my son was 5-years-old, I noticed that he was having behavioral issues at school and potentially going to fail kindergarten for the mere reason that he couldn't sit still. His father and I decided to start the process of having him evaluated by a psychologist. Every year at school after that, he kept having issues focusing and finishing his work. He KNEW how to do the work but simply couldn't finish it. After multiple tests and evaluations at the age of 7, my son was offically diagnosed with ADHD with impulse control.

To me, my son was the sweetest child that loved to hug people and even at times would go up to strangers and hug them out of nowhere. As a parent I thought it was cute but a little scary. I did the same thing... well, not hug random strangers but I would get the impulse to just hug people because my "brain" needed it.

All my life I struggled to focus in school but managed to stay at a C average and finish my two year degree. I never realized what my issue was until I started seeing my son exhibit some of the same feelings and actions I did. My symptoms were more prominent when I started a desk job. Well, I noticed my symptoms more when I started a desk job. My anxiety grew and my inability to stay on task grew harder. I knew it was time to be evaluated myself. I spoke with my primary physician about the anxiety and he put my on anxiety medication and told me to see a psychiatrist about possible ADHD. So I found one that was willing to see me and my son. He prescribed me Vyvance and it was like putting glasses on for the first time. I couldn't believe how calm it made me and I was actually able to finish my tasks. He prescribed my son the same thing. I was excited for my son to finally feel normal. He told me on multiple occasions his brain is going too fast and he gets frustrated and angry. With reluctance, I gave the script to his father to fill and they never filled it and refused to get it filled for my son. Now with the law where we live, since we have 50/50 custody, if his father wasn't in agreement, the doctor could NOT write another script without a court order. So I agreed to try other options until every option was exhausted. I really had no choice.

Now comes the hard part. Having ADHD myself and never really learning ways to cope with it properly, having to be a single mother to a child with ADHD can be quite difficult. By the time we get home from school and work my medication has worn off and now it's time to keep my son on track with homework (one page can take up to an hour) while I am trying to make dinner and make sure his little brother isn't bothering him. All the while I am trying to finish one task at a time. Now the point of this story is to give confidence to the many parents who have ADHD themselves. I know many people are against medication but I realized that having ADHD my entire life greatly affected my adult life as well and I wish my parents had me tested when I was younger so I could have gone on medication. I have given my son supplements, changed his diet, coffee in the morning, and he is on a special plan for school but it still isn't enough and it hurts to see him suffering emotionally.

To all you parents out there, you are not alone and we need to stick together and help each other. Take care of yourself so we can help our children learn to function in society.

children

Marina Turpin

I am a single mother of two wonderful little boys. I am trying to stay afloat every single day and somehow manange to always be able to laugh, smile and give lots of hugs to the people I love.

Read next: Overcoming the Loss of a Father

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