Parenting Burnout

Parenting is not a "one size fits all." Through the ups and downs, we all do the best we can. Unfortunately, most days, it can feel like there are more "downs" than "ups." So, what do we do about it? Let's talk about that.

It is that time between Christmas and New Year's, where we want to make resolutions for the upcoming year. Most lists will include Losing weight, eating healthier, going to the gym, stop smoking or drinking. Which are great things, don't get me wrong, but what about your well-being as a parent? Parenting burnout is a thing!

It is ok not to be ok. You are allowed to feel all your feelings, even if they seem wrong. You are entitled to love your child and still wish things were easier. You are allowed to be kind to yourself, even if you feel ineffective. You are allowed to put yourself first so you can keep on giving. You are permitted to hold joy and sorrow simultaneously, and you are allowed to believe you are a superhero. Perfectly imperfect.

What kind of resolutions can you make as a parent, so you do not burn out in the upcoming year? Here are my top three suggestions:

#3 Make routines or improve your current ones. Take a look at your morning, after-school, and bedtime routines. Are your kids not dressed on time, refusing to brush their teeth, or forgetting their homework? It might make sense to work together to implement some improved methods. Come up with new routines as a family unit. Then post the routines in strategic places, so your kids won't forget, and you won't have to remind them. I know easier said than done! TIP: My sister has a checklist for my nephews and niece in her house. One in each of their bedrooms of the tasks they have to do before leaving the room in the morning. Such as getting dressed, putting on clean socks and undies, making the bed, etc. There is a checklist for the tasks done before leaving the bathroom. Then again, a list of all the things they should have in their backpacks before leaving the house to meet the bus. Of course, make the tasks to what fits your family. When the kids are not asking you a million questions or calling you because they forgot their lunch on the counter, it can make the start of your day less stressful.

#2 Yell Less, Breathe More. Parenting is stressful. Getting angry and frustrated is entirely understandable, but studies show that yelling is the least productive way to manage it. Plus, it just ramps up the family stress level all around. This is why finding techniques to help you yell less and breathe more is a resolution worth making. But it is so darn HARD to stop yelling at kids. So…very…hard. If you want to reduce your overall household yelling at kids, start by knowing how often you raise your voice for everyday things. "Dinner's Ready!" "Time for school!" "Take out the trash!" By yelling commands for simple things, you raise the volume level in your house, and it ends up normalizing yelling. Try walking up to your kids and talking to them in a normal speaking voice instead. When you reduce everyday yelling, it leads to a drop in angry shouting, which leads to less parenting burnout.

#1 Practice Self Care. You will be a much calmer and happier parent if you take care of yourself by getting enough sleep, exercise, healthy food and downtime. Write out a self-care plan that's both realistic and effective when it comes to keeping you happy and sane. Then post it somewhere you can see to remind yourself! Also, ask for help. If you have a partner, communicate with them when you feel overwhelmed parenting today. Ask them to take over and LEAVE THE HOUSE!! If you are a single parent, ask a family member or a friend you trust for help. Finally, communicate that you need time for self-care. You have parent burnout! Talk about it with someone you are comfortable sharing with.

To utilize my parenting resources! I am a parent to a complex child. My daughter has autism, ADHD, development delay, and speech delays. I have access to a respite facility. I will book my daughter into respite care more often and take some needed time for myself. She has a great time there. They have the staff to accommodate all of my daughter's needs. It is a win, win for both of us.

My self-care includes:

- Lying in bed with noodles and my favourite tv shows.

- Taking a long hot bath ... IN SILENCE.

- Going for a walk around the park.

- Getting ice cream at my favourite shop.

- Visiting friends and family.

- Cleaning to enjoy the satisfaction of my space staying clean for a few days until my child comes home.

- Finally, going to the gym (I'm a gym person. 2017 resolution that I have kept)

Whatever helps you as a parent avoid burnout, DO IT! It is not selfish; it is necessary!!!

I hope this was helpful. HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

For more info on self-care please check out https://vocal.media/families/taking-care-of-you