Open Letters to My Mama - Letter Two

Dear Mama,

So, here we are. My second letter, not that you’ve probably even read the first one. I know you’re busy and have a lot on, so reading this is probably very low on your to-do list. But anyway, here we are with the second one regardless. Clearly the first one didn’t work, because you’re still insulting yourself about the way you look (which is pissing me off, but I know that’s not going to change over-night). So, what to tackle this time? There is always so much that I want to say to you, but when I write, my mind goes blank. That’s probably a huge reflection of my anxiety and not liking the whole ‘share feelings’ thing. But I shall push through my own shit, and rant about how incredibly inspirational you are.

You know that you’ve been my inspiration since I was little. You’ve always been the one that’s gotten me through the hard times and the times where I’ve broken down and wanted to give up. I’m not going to post for the whole world to read, but you know what I mean when I say about what happened when I was younger. If you weren’t someone to focus on and someone to love, I know for a fact that I’d have been dead a long time ago, or at least, somewhere completely differently – in regards to my mental state and how I’ve lived my life. When some of the most horrific things were happening to me, I was still able to smile because of you. YOU. I owe my life to you, and not just from when I was little.

You’re an inspiration to many young girls, and I think that is just a reflection of who you are. You are so giving and kind and generous with your love and time. I really don’t know how you manage to fit everything into one day. You’re a single mum, who fucking aces the parenting shit. Your children adore you – you can see it when they’re with you. I’m not biologically yours, but I really fucking love you as well. You’re such a strong mum, even when your world is dark and you have your own things happening. You never blame your children or let them be affected by what’s affecting you. That’s something that I find parents do a lot – affect the kids – but you’re so strong. You are a goddess, in every sense of the word.

The way you stand up for people (and animals!) who have no voice is just incredible. You always use your voice for good, and whilst *some* idiots try to get you down, it never works. Because you’re amazing and you fucking own what you’re doing. You carry yourself in such a great way, and I wish I could be as articulate and ‘on-point’ as you are. You are the biggest promoter of women supporting women and I think people learn so much from you. You’re always bigging people up and boosting people’s egos who really need a boost. I only wish that you would listen to your own advice sometimes and take it on yourself. Because, if you can somehow see some beauty in me (fuck knows how) then I can’t understand why you’re blind to your own. Because I’m disgusting to look at and dumb and untalented, yet you somehow love me and manage to compliment me and you don’t think I’m totally awful?!?!

You make me want to be a better person. I have a pretty negative outlook on life, and there aren’t many people or things that I like, but you make me want to change that. I see how passionate you are about things, and it really does make me want to open up my heart to more things and maybe try to open up a little more to people in terms of friendship. I want to be just like you. You are so loved by so many people and you make us all happier just by being near you. Just a simple text from you can turn my day around. You don’t realise the power you have, which just makes you even more endearing.

You are incredible at your job. No one else does it quite like you. It’s a pleasure to watch you at work. I’m in total awe of you. And your colleagues bloody love you. I’ve heard the way people talk about working with you and my God, you’re just as delightful at work as you are in everyday life. I don’t know if you can tell just by what’s written, but I’m smiling so much right now. See, you bring joy to people who are only talking about you. Memories of you ignite some kinda ridiculous happiness within people and we can’t help but smile at the thought of you or sound of your name.

I really wish we were biologically related. I mean, for me, it doesn’t matter. You’re my Mama and I love you like a daughter loves their mum. Of course, I respect boundaries and stuff, but personally, just for me, I don’t care that we’re not blood, you are my family. And I love you and I’m going to keep annoying you with these letters and I hope that you read them at some point.

Because you are an inspiration.

You are incredible.

I love you so much.

Love,

Your Liddle One

xxx