One Day at a Time

One Day at a Time

By John Matthews

Finally I felt our family was returning to normal after the passing of our mother from cancer. Although, the grieving process had past holidays, birthdays, and anniversaries were rough on us. Even though some years had passed, I still could feel the pain of the one mother I lost. It made it harder to walk into a card store on Mother's day. People would buy cards for their mother. It always brought me to tears. I would run out of the store and burst into tears knowing I could never call or buy my mother a card again. Matters got worse knowing that the day my mom passed was the same day as my best friend's birthday. I was the one now trying to hold the family together. Although, it wasn't an easy task at the time, it made me a stronger individual overtime.

Soon as life seemed to be getting back to normal I got the dreaded call from my dad that my brother had just went into the Jeanes Hospital on Friday, July 24, 2015. This was my father's birthday. 1--10w ironic it was to have my best friend's birthday on my mother's passing and now my dad's birthday the day my brother was admitted to the hospital. My brother Michael was younger than me and started having chest pains so dad brought him to the emergency room. He was admitted late Friday night because his EKG was off the charts. The emergency room staff thought he was having a heart attack and started doing all kinds of tests. Some of the tests performed included a CAT scan, blood, Liline, and Artery check. They eventually found out his platelets were low and he did not have a heart attack. He did however have an irregular heartbeat and was diagnosed with Brugada Syndrome. After seeing two different doctors they believed that my brother may need a defibrillator. I thought my brother, he is too young. How could this be happening? He was only 34 years old. I started to cry. I said that "I love my little brother". He was always there for me. My wife came by to calm me down. She asked "why am I crying?" I explained to her that my brother went into the hospital and may need to have a defibrillator inserted. She comforted me and told me that everything would be alright and that my brother Michael would be ok. Later that night, I found out my brother was staying overnight and going to see the cardiologist the next day to determine if he would be getting a defibrillator or not.

The next day amived Saturday July 25, 2015. I went to the hospital to visit my only brother. He was lying in bed hooked up to IV's and a heart monitor. We were told that the doctor he was supposed to see was on vacation and would have to wait till Monday for another doctor. I began to wonder if he was at the right hospital. Two doctors thought he needed the defibrillator and one doctor was unsure if it was really necessary. We would just have to wait and see what the specialist said when he came by on Monday.

Sunday moming an•ived and I contacted my brother to see how he was doing. I was very busy that day and had plans that I couldn't change for that night to go out with my wife to a show. I did not go see him on July 26, 2015, but was there in spirit. It was a great way to take my mind off of him to actually go out and enjoy myself. I returned home that night with a clear head and hoping I be able to focus at work tomorow. I was hoping everything would be fine the next day and he would be going home.

The next day, Monday July 27, 2015 had come and I went to work as normal. My mind was obstructed with the fact of what was going to happen to my little brother. Would he have to get a

defibrillator or go home? It was so intense that I couldn't focus at work that day. I tried to talk to my supervisor but she was off and needed to release on someone. I finally told a good friend of mine and asked him to pray for Michael. We prayed that all would go well. He reassured me he would be ok because he had been through a similar surgery. Later on that day I talked to dad and he told me the doctor did not come that day and they would be waiting till tomorrow to see him. My wife and I went to visit him that night. I brought him a stuffed Snoopy toy that was holding a heart. Little Snoopy was trying to give his heart away. He would give his heart to my brother Michael. We laughed and joked and even another friend stopped by to see my brother. I could not get over how positive my brother was that night. I was more filled with anxiety and won-y that something would go wrong and I would lose him forever. I did not want to lose him like I had lost mom. I was not ready for another loss at this time.

Tuesday July 28, 2015 arrived and my brother Michael finally got to see the doctor that would detennine if he needed surgery or not. It was a stressful day at work as I worried what the outcome would be and what was really going to happen. My supervisor had returned and I talked to her that day and explained that my brother was in the hospital and I may have to leave if necessary. She comforted me in her office and told me to let her know if I needed to go and that there would not be any problem with me leaving. I found out later that day that the doctor would perform a test on my brother to determine if he would need a defibrillator or not. If it was determined that he would need one, then they would perform the surgery that very same day. After work I went back to hospital again to comfort my brother but was noticing that he was comforting me more. I was the one with anxiety and worried about every possible situation that could go wrong. He was positive the whole time and not won•ied. He knew that God was on his side and that whatever needed to be done would be done with no problems. I left that day more comfortable knowing that he would be alright and home to get a good sleep that night.

I woke up the next day feeling confident and went to work as normal. I was so focused on my work I needed to complete that I didn't think much about my brother till I talked to my dad that afternoon. My brother told me that the cardiologist performed a test on his heart to see if it would stop or if my brother would pass out. Michael told me that his heart failed and it heart stopped beating. The doctors had to shock his heart back and that he was rushed into surgery. I notified my supervisor and left early that afternoon. I rushed to get to hospital as I was scared and worried if I would every see my brother alive again. My heart started to race. I went into a panic attack and had to calm myself down as I was driving to the hospital. I thought what if it is too late and he didn't make it. I finally arrived at the hospital and went to my brother's room. He was ok. He was lying in bed and talking to me. I felt a sigh of relief that everything went well. Although, Mike was sore and limited to movement, he was conscious and able to have a conversation. I knew at that moment that God had put angel on my brother to save his life. This angel was my mom. She was there with him through every difficult moment in spirit just like she would have been if she was alive today. I have become stronger through this whole ordeal and started to shape a more positive outlook on life. I know not to take anything for granted and to just take one day at a time because life can change in a blink of an eye. One blink you are here and other you may be gone.