My Daughter's Birth

I'm not a crying man but I cried that day.

I'm not an emotional man but I was emotional that day.

My wife had never seen me cry but she saw me cry that day.

That day, August 9, 2020, was a day I thought would never happen.

That day was the day my daughter was born.

I was married before, we tried and tried to conceive. Everyone asked us when we were going to have kids like people love to ask newly married couples. I always replied with “I don’t know, we’re practicing.” That always got a chuckle out of people.

We never did conceive, we thought we were both broken. We “practiced” a lot but never had anything to show for it.

Unfortunately, Ashley, my first wife, died on October 18, 2014.

Am I upset we never had a kid?

Yes.. And no.

I wish we did because she was beautiful and I believe we could have had a beautiful child. I would have loved for her to know how it felt to be a mother, something she wanted so bad.

But I'm glad it didn't happen at the same time. It's not the prospect of having to raise a kid alone, it would be them growing up not knowing their mom. I wouldn't wish that on a kid, not knowing their mom or dad.

After her death, I stayed single for several years. I tried talking to people and always got turned down. The prospect of getting married, much less having a kid, thinned day by day.

Then on December 18, 2016, something happened that changed all of that. An old friend reached out. Her husband had asked for a divorce and she needed someone to talk to. She wanted to work on her marriage but it was too late. He had no desire to work on it, turns out, he had another woman.

That's a story for another day but if you want to read my wife's story about their relationship, you can do so here. It’s a doozy!

Skip ahead a little, they got divorced and we got married. She brought with her, her son, Beau, who was from the relationship before her now ex-husband. I have raised him as my own but we wanted one of our own. So we tried.

And tried.

And tried.

We practiced and practiced and practiced.

We thought we were both broken, that we couldn't have kids.

Then one day our practice was made perfect, she told me she was pregnant.

We were excited, overjoyed, it was finally going to happen!

Then it all came crashing down a couple of weeks later. She miscarried.

It was devastating. We were both hurt and it took a long time for both of us to get past it.

Then, a year and a half later we found out she was pregnant again.

We were overjoyed again but scared. What if it happened again?

It did. She miscarried again.

We thought all hope was lost, that it was never going to happen for us, that we would never have a successful pregnancy.

Then in January of 2020, we found out she was pregnant again. We were again overjoyed but even more scared.

What if it happened again? What if we lost the third one?

As the weeks passed, everything seemed okay. We stayed scared, we didn't want to lose another. She started growing and growing. We got our hopes up, maybe this one would make it.

Then COVID happened.

Even if the baby did make it, would I be able to see the gender with her? Would I even be able to be in the room when she delivered?

Then gender reveal time came. Our baby made it that far, our others didn't.

My wife wanted another boy. She didn't want a girl at all. She was scared of having a girl. She was going to be devastated if it was a girl.

Me, I didn't care what gender it was, I just wanted a healthy baby.

It was a girl!

My wife was a little upset about it being a girl but recovered quickly.

We were still scared.

Week after week passed, we got closer and closer to the due date.

Everything looked good. It looked as though this pregnancy was going to be a success.

Then it was time to go to the hospital. Time for our daughter to make her appearance.

I was scared. I was terrified. What if something went wrong during delivery? What if I lost my wife or daughter or both?

Then I had an overwhelming feeling wash over me that everything was going to be fine. Nothing bad was going to happen. I felt peaceful.

We waited and waited for her to make her appearance.

Finally, they had to manually break her water.

My wife wanted to do it without the epidural, unlike when she had Beau.

The pain wasn’t too bad for her at first.

Then it was.

"I can't do this, I need the epidural," she said.

They said okay but they'd have to call the guy, he wasn't there.

The nurses left the room. I stood by her side, holding her hand.

She was in pain. She wanted the pain to go away.

"Where are they with the epidural?" She asked. I told her they'd be there soon, just give them a minute. Hang in there.

I was praying and crying.

She whimpered, moaned, she squeezed my hand tighter and tighter.

Then she screamed.

She screamed really loud.

She screamed so loud that the nurses heard her at their station over fifty yards and several walls away.

It took them less than ten seconds to get there or so it seemed.

They checked her.

It was time.

It was showtime. It was pushing time.

Everyone got into position.

She pushed and pushed.

I started crying and praying again

The baby’s head started showing.

The doctor asked me if I wanted to look. I took a couple of steps, looked, and saw the top of her head, and went right back to Kasey’s side where I was needed.

She kept pushing.

The doctor said the baby’s shoulder was stuck.

She pushed more.

My wife said “I heard a pop” and the doctor replied, “I heard it too.”

She kept pushing.

Finally, the baby was out.

I was going to do the delayed cord cutting but “I’m sorry, we can’t do the delayed cord-cutting, we have to take her over here.”

She wasn’t crying.

I just stood there holding my wife’s hand. I didn’t know what was going on. I was scared, terrified.

We waited.

Then the baby started crying.

She was fine!

I almost fell to my knees and started balling. My baby was here, she was fine, we finally had our baby. The baby we had to go through so much to get.

They said I could walk over to the corner where she was and see her.

There she was, my baby, my daughter.

My wife wanted me to have skin-to-skin contact first, so they had me go sit in the chair, they brought her to me.

So tiny! So fragile. I was scared I was going to hurt her just by holding her.

My wife was still in the bed, the floor covered in blood. So much blood. It amazes me to this day that there was so much blood and no crime scene tape.

I held our baby for what felt like an hour. They had to clean my wife up, who was so weak that she couldn’t walk on her own. When they got her and the floor cleaned up and her back in bed she was finally able to hold her baby for the first time.

Our baby.

The baby we thought we’d never have.

It was the scariest day of my life.

It was the most amazing day of my life.

Our daughter, Piper Danielle Gresham came into this world on August 9, 2020, at 8:23 PM weighing in at 8lbs and 4oz.

She is still doing fine today.

She makes me smile every day. She makes me laugh every day.

She has such a unique personality, loves to jump, to be tossed, and is one heck of a daredevil.

Our “Piper Bean” shares a middle name with my late wife. My current wife, Kasey, was completely fine with using the name. She’s awesome like that.

Kasey gave me something I thought I’d never have. Well, two things really. First, she showed me that I was still capable of being loved. Then she gave me a daughter.

Even though she eventually asked for the epidural, which she never received, I’m super proud of her for delivering naturally. I would have been just as proud of her if she hadn’t too.

By the way, that pop she and the doctor heard was her tailbone fracturing from Piper’s shoulder being stuck. Also, Kasey loves the fact that it ended up being a girl, she wouldn’t change it for anything.

I love my family; Beau, Piper, and Kasey. They are my everything.

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