My Cousin Suzie

My cousin Suzie was a twin. They were the last of 14 children. There are only four of them left out of the fourteen, after Suzie died. One cousin has been in prison much of his life. I saw two of them at the funeral today.

I was one of the oldest there and knew it would be difficult to recognize who belonged to whom. My cousin, who is the same age, was all crippled up from a stroke and back trouble, which he attributes to his work as an artist.

This cousin is a sculptor and works with large pieces. Carving mostly people for parks and other commission assignments for businesses.

I recognized my cousin Ebbie's girls, Maggie and Dawn. Maggie recently had a double lung transplant, and they were two of the main ones in charge of the service. Dawn made some announcements when the funeral service hadn't started after two hours.

A cousin reminded me of how long my sister's funeral was. It was conducted by Midewewin members and leaders who provided their services. This service had some components of Mide, but was primarily the family's regular service.

There is a hurry to get the deceased in the ground within four days. They do not embalm. Members of the family give the deceased a cedar bath and care for the deceased.

She was very small in her coffin. A cousin told me that she was small one month ago, but she was really small today. She was diagnosed with pulmonary fibrosis. She struggled with addiction throughout her life. The last few days of her life, she spent in the hospital to get the comfort care the hospital could offer.

The family made her coffin, which was decorated by the family, including the children who were there. Much of it was very artistic. It didn't feel appropriate to take a picture of the art. The photo above reminds me of some of the art on the coffin and the poster that was being used for a guest book.

The family has their own cemetery. I was not going to stay for that part of the funeral, as I had been there before, and it was a struggle to get to it, as the roads were a chore to walk on following the horse and buggy hauling the coffin.

I left home at 8:15, and returned for my date night with the hubby by 4:15. We went to a movie, and then we left early. It was titled Him. I do not like horror movies, and the ticket seller said she didn't think it was horror. It was a joint decision to leave the movie.

My husband picked it, and he was the first to want to leave. After the fact, he agreed the movie I wanted to see would have been better. Then later, Hubby said, "That movie you chose was the worst one I have ever seen, and the only movie I have ever left early."

~

Funerals can be difficult

Unless you know where they are going

Not what others believe happens

Even knowing they are no longer suffering

Really, it can be difficult too

And to know that her children aren't there

Laughter happened, and a celebration of life.

~~

Author's Note: Even during the movie and dinner, my mind was on the funeral, and I thought how nice it would be for everyone to survive addiction. Addiction is a disease. Not everyone recovers.

Most Anishinabe people believe the past is put aside as they move into the next place after life as we know it. All is forgiven, and there is a fresh start in the Everlasting happy place.

The truth was told about her struggles with addiction in life, and that she is in a better place without the suffering. There was also an ask to not use alcohol and drugs to medicate this loss, but rather to use each other to grieve without using drugs and alcohol.

In my younger years, there was a lot of drinking at funerals or right after. I'm glad I don't see that anymore.