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Moving Out of My Parents' Home: A Decision

by ~ Anonymous 4 years ago in advice

Breaking It Down One Step at a Time

The process to happiness; look at it in the eyes

Why are you thinking about moving from your parents' home? Is it really worth it? For me the major question was: When you have the option of escaping a toxic environment at the cost of scarring meaningful relations, what do you do?

The two are antonyms but entwined in the web of life as though necessary to existence. Toxic environments are poisonous; they have negative impacts. Meaningful relations are harmless; they have positive impacts, but when the two are met together, at the same time, what do you do?

Step One: Outline your goal.

Mine is to be happy, to think clearly, and to work every day on what makes me a better version of myself. What is your goal?

Step Two: What are your options? (Options can be infinite, your top three?)

1. Stay.

2. Become the environment around you.

3. Leave.

Step Three: Which option will impact you the best?

1. Stay. Ignorance is indeed bliss, and life could be much easier if you simply allowed the cause to continue projecting itself. Do not pay mind to the negative impacts, and focus on the goal you have set for yourself. My experience trying to stay in an environment that negatively impacted me strayed my focus away from my goal of being happy. Being constantly surrounded by negative people, who mean a lot to me, was draining. It gave me a negative view of others and really confused my natural perceptions, reactions and responses towards others on a daily basis. Over time, I ruled this option out.

2. Becoming the environment around you forces acceptance by the others. Others will accept you if you're more like them. If you want to be a part of "the cool group," you have to act and develop similar ideologies to what "the cool group" represents. Simple enough, but we all ask ourselves, who do you want to be? What is the environment around you saying? Is it toxic or meaningful? Some may view the pros of being conditioned in a toxic environment and others, like me, may not be able to steer clear of the sheer negativity brought about within a toxic environment. My goal of being happy will only be met if I treat my environment with happiness and not toxicity. Strike out for option 2.

3. Leaving means uprooting everything, finding a new place, changing the environment. When you have exhausted all other options, tried to make changes to the negative impacts but to no avail, leaving seems like the most plausible option to choose. I tried to work with my negative, toxic environment but found myself hopping on and off of an emotional roller coaster. In all that makes the world what it is, drama seemed to be a leading characteristic in mine. The pain everyone caused each other became our way of life. We built our own small, toxic society where we developed and followed toxic norms. My dilemma grew from being aware of the toxicity and how it impacted me and wanting an escape. How do I justify living in a toxic environment when I have the means to leave?

Step Four: Execute.

One sunny morning, I was awoken to the memories of stomping feet, yelling, swearing, gritted teeth, anger, tears, and a clouded mind. It was this moment that I decided leaving would impact me the best. I outlined my goal of reaching happiness and I escaped toxicity. Everything falls into place when you choose a path and are determined to reach it. Now, my visions are set on happiness and it's all I see.

advice

~ Anonymous

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