Mommy Diaries: Married Women that are Single Mothers

There are many things they don’t tell you about becoming a mother. Amazingly, these things don’t often come up in small conversations. Moms deal with so much during the day and it’s just seen as normal.

What if I said a married woman can still be a single mother? I know that is going to bother some but please listen. Most mothers cannot express these feelings, but they are real. By understanding these things, you can help the Mamas around you.

Those of us that are lucky enough to have a man or husband that works hard to take care of our families are so grateful for them. We should be. They make sure we have a safe place and food and clothes. So before going on, I want to make sure we all appreciate our support in the home and the one that holds our families financially.

Nobody is taking away appreciation for them that isn’t what this is about. It’s about the parental struggles of women. It is so easy for people to say you don’t have a job you can relax all day. This couldn’t be further from the truth, and it is quite infuriating for us stay-at-home mothers. Did you know the care of one child is equivalent to a full-time job? Once someone downplays all the things, we must take care of during the day that’s when we see that we aren’t appreciated.

Personally, my day is full. I’m lucky if I have a couple of minutes of quiet or just to sit down. I can’t even use the bathroom without one of my children needing something or someone crying or hearing something fall and spill. There are days that I realize I have been so busy during the day that I haven’t eaten or had anything to drink. There is no time for self-care. A lot of times when you see a mother dressed down with her hair up, she hasn’t gotten a chance to shower.

When we must run errands, a task that seems so easy and should only take a short amount of time takes triple the amount of time with children. So, please stop telling mothers that going to the grocery store is simple. It takes forever just to get everyone and the baby bag out of the car to begin with. Then we try to race through the store before one of them has a tantrum or must use the bathroom. We must make sure all of them stay in sight and within reach because we can’t trust anyone in society to not snatch our children anymore.

If you see a mother out and her child is having a tantrum and she’s just silent, don’t just assume she doesn’t parent her child. That woman is probably emotionally and mentally drained. Not to mention society is extremely judgmental. If you don’t say anything, then you don’t know how to parent but if you do say something you are judged for how you parent.

Many of us spend all day alone. We don’t have time to be social and if we do get a break, we don’t want to go out we are too tired. By that point our mental emotional and social meter is empty. We have a child on our hip and leg the entire day we are overwhelmed and overstimulated. There are too many noises the lights are too bright, and we are tired of things touching us. Please have some compassion. If you see a mother offer your help even if it doesn’t look like she needs anything.