Managing Life with an Autistic Child

Currently, I am a Correctional Officer by trade. I have three beautiful children but only my son is Autistic. My children are my joy and my reason for living but this one thing has created many obstacles for me. I am a single mother mostly. I do have a significant other but as my son is not biologically his I do not expect nor do I want him making decisions about my son's life. I found out my son was Autistic earlier this year just before Covid-19 was a huge thing.

My son is turning 5 next month. We had him tested in March. He is Level 2, non-verbal; for now, but with a possibility of improving in that area. My son was severely tongue tied at birth which we didn't actually realize fully until he was 3 and promptly got him the surgery to reconstruct his tongue so he'd at least have the ability to try to learn to speak. Both his sisters have L's in their names and it frustrates him to have to say their names but he loves them both dearly. Especially his older sister... he has a very dramatic mood swing every time she has to leave to go to her father's house. He just always wants her to stay. Right now, she just doesn't know how to connect with him. She gets very confused by his constant mood swings and the fact that he can barely talk doesn't help the situation because all he really wants is for her to understand.

My youngest seems to understand her big brother has difficulties and so they look out for each other. They are closer in age ( only 2 years apart) whereas my oldest is 5 years older than her brother.

My current problem is school. My son was totally psyched to start school this year and I had looked into all the schools in our area (southern Oklahoma) and found that online school wouldn't work for him right now but it might later on. So I enrolled him into public school. I had to jump through a few hoops for the special needs program and they told me that they have 45 days to get his IEP setup and they will call me. It's been 3.5 months and I haven't heard a thing. Truthfully, I figured it would happen. Not a whole lot of people want to be teachers these days especially for special needs (it is a small town) but I gave them the benefit of the doubt and I got burned.

My next step for my son was to get him on disability because maybe with that he can get a home tutor. Disability failed to tell me that I had to report my income every single month so it got messed up after he got his first check but I'm getting that taken care of. Meanwhile, with his first check I got him a whole bunch of educational toys. For example: Walmart sells this leapfrog desk that has a whole bunch of things attached to it with different desktop attachments to learn from... he loves that thing! I learned today that he knows how to write! He listened to the instructions, paused, and traced the letters slowly and correctly the first time every time! ( You'll have to excuse my enthusiasm, it's just so great to see him flourish after being disappointed about not getting to go to school.) Anyway, the desk is just shy of $45-$50. Money well spent.

As for my dilemma about school. I found out that public school probably isn't a good option for us. A woman I met who homeschools her granddaughter who is Autistic said the school would call her to the school every time her granddaughter had a tantrum and Autistic kids have a lot of them. I work 12 hour shifts 5 days a week and I'm don't have a phone, we don't get breaks. I can't be called out of work for such a stupid reason. It's your job to deal with teaching special people so do your job... Is how I feel about it. I have a family friend who just moved to town who is licensed to homeschool special needs children... the problem is she has seizures herself. Care.com is not a help because there is only one person in our area and she's not really a teacher. So the option I am operating with now is to switch jobs where I can either work from home or be available to come home when I need to so that our family friend can homeschool my son so he doesn't get behind on anything.

My son is sweet and kind, a little dramatic and deserves to be taught when he really wants to learn. It can be a challenge to find answers to your questions but don't let that scare you. I heard good things about learning tree if your child is younger than mine. Learning-wise it depends on what your child responds to that you need to consider when choosing the best course of action to take when it comes to school. My son responds to music, repetition, and certain types of electronics. Your child may be different but you can just try them on a bunch of different things before you choose a school/classroom situation for them.

A couple books I picked up from BarnesandNoble.com that might be helpful to you are:

-The Explosive Child

-Understanding Autism for Dummies