Magnetic Personality

My dad, Frank stood in the kitchen, shaking his head in disbelief as he watched Mom concentrating on the refrigerator door.

“Mary,” he said quietly and yet desperately trying not to laugh, “If you put one more magnet on that refrigerator, the door will be so heavy, it’ll fall off!”

My mom laughed as she turned to face him and said, “Guess I do have quite a collection, don’t I?”

While it’s true that many women place magnets on their refrigerator doors, many of those magnets depict some sort of business card with the company’s contact information or perhaps a doctor’s or pharmacy’s phone number. Younger mothers display their children’s artwork.

My mom’s collection was completely different. When we, her children came home with our “artwork” from grade school, mom would travel to the 5&10 cent store and buy frames to display our art. If she couldn’t find room on a wall, they’d sit on a table. Her refrigerator door was reserved for other things.

Turning away from my dad, she said with a bit of pride and yet a touch of sadness in her voice, “Frank.” She pointed to a small magnet in the corner. “Do you remember when I bought this one?”

As dad stepped forward to have a better look, Mom pulled it off the refrigerator and handed it to him.

It was a two-inch replica of an old-fashioned eggbeater. Actually, if you turned the handle, the single beater turned – or at least, it used to when it was new.

“I bought this right after Maggie was married. Remember?” She took it from him and sighing deeply continued, “We visited her new home and stopped for gasoline on the way. I saw this and decided it would make the perfect piece of memorabilia. We were so proud of her. Young, pretty, smart, a good husband and a new home!”

Dad stood mesmerized as he recalled that trip.

“Maryland” came from the first time they visited my younger sister after she moved down south with her new husband.

“Montauk” brought back the memories of their first vacation alone after their children married and moved away.

Dad related to each of them since they made sense to him, yet there were many that required an explanation to the curious – like Dad who never noticed when his wife purchased another of her little mementos.

She never removed the next one, just pointed to it. In a voice that almost sounded like a whisper, Mom said, “I’m sure this will break if I try to remove it but look. It reminds me of the day, Maggie visited and announced she was pregnant.”

Her breath caught in her throat as she continued, “Our first grandchild! What a memory! I can’t begin to explain how thrilled I was. Remember, Frank?” She looked at him through misty eyes.

“After Maggie and her husband left, you drove me to the store so I could buy some wool. I so excited to begin knitting a hat with the matching sweater and carriage blanket. When I approached the cashier, I saw this cute little plastic baby bottle and knew it needed a new home – on my refrigerator!”

Dad remembered and he, too sighed. “So long ago, Mary and yet, it seems like yesterday. How old is Ken now anyway? 19?”

“Oh my, Frank, no!” she said as she smiled and with gentle affection stroked his arm. “He’s all grown up now, He’s almost 24 and our little girl will be 45 in a few months.”

Dad, in a bit of shock, grabbed the back of the nearest chair and wanted very much to sit down – yet the magnets pulled at him as if he were a piece of metal.

“Go on,” he encouraged Mom while trying to pull himself together remembering that he was 45 years old when his first grandson was born.

As his eyes grazed over the large white box, he saw things that seemed to defy explanation but yet, Mom remembered the reason she bought each and every magnet.

For instance, the crank-up-telephone. It was about 2-inches high and one inch wide. The crank was part of the hard molded plastic and didn’t move, but if you pressed the tiny button at the top of the phone, the device emitted a sound replicating the ringing of an old-fashioned telephone. Mom said she got that from the 5&10 cent store during its last days of business.

“There was an ad in the newspaper stating they were shutting down for good. You remember, that, don’t you? Everything was seventy-five percent off. I bought a new manual can opener, some dish cloths, new clothes pins, a few new potholders and this magnet to remind me of the wonderful sales I found in that store.”

The magnet held her eyes as she looked back in time. “Remember how we would walk down the avenue and I’d stop in for some material to make the clothes for the children?”

He remembered. He also remembered that it was in that store, that old five and dime, where they bought their first full set of dishes when dad came home from his duty in the Navy. They bought their dishes – one piece at a time!

That store closed their doors for the last time back in 1968, but Mom still has her magnet.

“Do you remember this one?” she asked in a brighter tone of voice as she took it off the refrigerator.

It looked like a small snail shell – no marking and faded with time. Taking it from her for a stronger and closer look while trying to peek inside, Dad saw what looked like dried grass. Then he remembered.

“Yes, I sure do!” he said triumphantly. It was indeed a small snail shell which brought back a flood of memories.

Mom was sure his smile spread from ear to ear.

“You bought it during our first family vacation at Virginia Beach. We rented a large beachfront house for a week and invited Maggie and MJ and their families. We had such fun and the grandkids loved being so close to the water.”

“That’s right. And during one of our many walks on the Boardwalk, I snuck in one of the souvenir places and spotted the air plant magnet. Right there and then, I decided it needed a new home.” Mom gently touched what dad deemed as dried grass. “Unfortunately, the plant lived for only a few months before finally withering away to dust, but shell is still in one piece.”

It took a while, but one by one they recalled each memory.

Years past and with each one, dad became more observant with the arrival of a new magnet - sometimes more than one. Secretly, he wrote down the date and occasion associated with each one so that when the memories began to fail, he’d be able to relate the reasoning mind them all.

Mom and Dad are gone now but the memories linger on more than just pictures in some old photo album that eventually gets stuck up in an attic.

I can still here Mom’s laughter as she recalled Dad’s voice the many times he teased her about her magnet collection.

Dad passed on twenty years ago and Mom bought a magnet that said, “The best husband on earth.” With a felt tip pen, she wrote under that, “My Frank.”

Through her declining years, her visits to shops for magnets slowed considerably but every now and then, while out with a friend or relative, she’d find one and insist it needed a new home - hers!

And no, the door never felt off mom’s refrigerator, but through the years, Mom had had to rearrange the magnets to make room for more. In fact, during the course of her lifetime, she even had to begin placing some on the side of the refrigerator.

It’s been years now since Mom ended her magnet collection. She’d lost her sight and showed signs of dementia and moved into my home where she stayed until she left to be with Dad.

After Mom’s passing, I inherited her collection. However, during the move to Florida to be with me, many of her magnets either broke or were lost. I tried to salvage what I could but still had to figure out where to place them. Space became an issue since the newer designs of refrigerators, don’t have the spacious area as the old one Mom had to display her memories. Not wanted to just toss them in a drawer, I did the next best thing. Going to a discount store, I purchased a large wall magnet. One by one, I carefully placed each of her magnets on the board according to the years of her purchases – and yes, it is kept in my kitchen for all to see.

While these many magnets may never carry a business logo or an easy to find phone number, they sure do tell a story- a remarkable story that will never change with time - the story of Mom’s life – her Magnetic Personality.