Look to the Trees!

In parenting we must have principles in place that guide our journey. What is a principle? Simply put—it’s a valuable guide. It's an important marker that can guide us through this parenting forest. I know I need a guide...so sign me up. I see it like this, we are all on this parenting journey and sometimes we get lost...the trail starts to vanish in the thick of life— then all of a sudden we come to that tree marked with a ribbon or something (that’s our principle) guiding us through the forest so we don’t wander too far off track. Parenting principles are key because we WILL seemingly “get lost” or “be in unmarked” territory— but someone has been there ahead of us and they have left us “principles” that can see us through. Will they make our journey perfect? “NO”, but they are guaranteed to help us! So let’s take a look at some of these markers and see how they can help us parents through the thick of it.

Marker 1: Parenting is a blessing.

Kids are gifts—literally little gifts! Sure oftentimes they feel more like a chore or job than a gift...and that is why we need this guiding principle marked in our life, so that it guides our heart back to the place it needs to be. Why are they blessings? To understand this we have to think about our kids beyond “in the moment” we must think about them futuristically. They are more than a package of snuggles, joys, smiles, and funnies” which is enough of a blessing in the day to day. However, they are blessing you so much more. They are carrying you into your future victories! Think about it. You’ve pushed through some of the biggest obstacles because of your littles. You didn’t give up and kept fighting for what’s in front of you; they were the ammunition that got you to that victory. Maybe you finished a degree, gave up an addiction, decided to tackle homeschooling, went back and got a GED, changed jobs, put in for that promotion, started your own business etc… Whatever it was...They are arrows in your hands, mighty warriors. They are a weapon that IS and WILL continue to lead to YOUR Victories. So when you are lost in the forest of life and everything seems to be attacking you...remember you have arrows in your quiver. Hypothetically put them in your bow and let them aim you into your future. Let this principle (this marker) keep you parenting well. When all hell is breaking loose around you and even your kids seem like your enemy, look for this ribbon on the trees and know they are for you, use them. Let them remind you—that you are a Warrior and you CAN and ARE fighting for your future as you shoot them into theirs. Victory is in your hands!

Principle 2: Parenting is discipline!

Discipline involves SO much. The Greek word paideia captures the full meaning better than our English word. It means instruction; chastisement, and correction. When we just hear discipline we think more about the negative connotation such as “punishments or consequences”. It leaves out the positive part or the “training and educating” portion of the word! More than just chastising our children we are bestowed the honor of educating them—Teaching them! That does not mean you have to “teach” them everything, in fact you can’t and won’t be their only teacher. However, you are called to teach them All that YOU can, when YOU can. YOU GET TO TEACH THEM! Teaching can be a taxing job, but it is also one of the most rewarding. When you see your child “get” whatever it is that you have been trying to instill in them, it is such an invigorating feeling. Whether we like it or not we ARE teaching them. Their little eyes, ears, hearts and minds are learning from us everyday. There is the “marker”. So when you are beating your way through the “thick” of parenting; look at this marker on the trees. The way you live life, the way you love others, how you cook, how you clean, what words are appropriate or not appropriate, they are learning by watching and hearing you! BE honored, Be purposeful! And when you realize you’ve been lost...just let this marker bring you back to “teaching them and being purposeful”. What YOU teach them will keep them safe, make them successful, self-sufficient, and capable. Teacher YOU know sooo much, You are more than capable to do the job placed before you! —And what you don’t know someone does.

Principle 3: Parenting is correction!

This may be one of the most important markers we need. I think most parents hate this job/role in parenting. It’s the hard one...you know the one where your parents said “this hurts me more than it does you” and you didn’t really believe them. Now you are on the other side of the “correction” and you’re realizing there may have been some truth to that statement. Correcting takes time, work and stamina. You have to have your feet firmly planted and ready for the fight. It’s our job as parents to correct our kids when they’re wrong, inappropriately responding or just ignorant to what they’ve done or said. We can’t just ignore, although that is at times easier, and believe me I make that choice more than I would like to admit to. Consequently, I have to check this marker often. Correcting redefines boundaries. When you're journeying through the forest, boundaries have to be clear, and it’s very important that your kids know them. So make them clear by teaching them, but when they cross them be sure to take the time and effort to correct them and remind them of why the boundary is there, otherwise they do not see the boundaries as important and end up in danger of hurting themself or others—either physically, mentally or emotionally. So when your kids are testing the boundaries, look to the trees and remember this marker! We must provide corrections, even though it takes time and can be painful to see our kids upset and thinking “we’re” the bad guy.

These are just a few markers we can look to keep us on a path to good parenting, not perfect parenting because no such thing exsists. So when you need a reminder on which way to go or what to do…let these markers guide you.

1. Are you considering them a gift and trying to appreciate them as such?

2. Are you purposefully teaching them?

3. Are you providing the correction they need?