Families logo


by Hidden secrets 11 months ago in children
Report Story

My new life

Photo by Fabio Comparelli on Unsplash

So, I got it, I know what I want to write about. I know what I need to write about to get it off my chest.

It really isn't much different than the rest but it's what I need to say.

It's going to start things with my family but that's not the first time I have written something that started a war in my family.

I am far from great, but I am far from the worse.

I am far from the best daughter in the world, and I am far from the one that my family wants to talk to.

I work hard each day to make sure that my dad’s family knows I am trying my best to end all of the curses and all of the bad habits that have been passed down, and to be honest I was stuck in it, I am stuck in it, and if you know my family you know what I am stuck in but today is day one.

I have done better today than I have in the last week, and lord only knows that I hope to get better each day. I thought I needed the reassurance from others to get better, but I don't I need it from myself.

I thought I had to work myself until I could no longer work or function, but I don't what I needed was to tell myself each day that I can do it, and I can be better than yesterday. I don't have to work my life away, because if I do work my life away then I truly don't feel anything at all.

I thought I was working to better my life, but I was just working to avoid my thoughts, I thought I was working to help myself get better, but I was only pushing myself over my limit.

The one thing I truly never realized was that I was turning into my parents, I was becoming them, in every way possible it was happening, I now see it and I now feel it. and how they did it for so long I will never understand it. How they got up each day and did the same thing each day to ruin their lives I will never understand I know that I will never be like that, because not only did they ruin their lives, but for the longest time they ruined their kids’ lives.

I used to say I wanted to be everything like my dad, and I was truly getting there, I was hiding behind the mask that he was, hiding from his family, and not showing the true him. I am not doing that anymore; I am going to be the real true me and I am going to be okay.

Soon I am going to be able to wake up and not wonder where my life went, what I need to do different, or not be happy with where I am at in my life. I will be able to wake up 100% happy.

I will wake up and be ready to start the day and not wish I could just roll over and go back to sleep. I will wake up and say I am ready to face everything that life throws my way. Honestly for the last couple of weeks I have just wanted to lay in bed sleep a little longer and avoid my life, and maybe that’s okay for a little while but it has been going on for a little too long for me now, and it’s becoming unhealthy, it’s becoming a reality again and that’s not okay.

I know that if I don’t change my ways now then I will be just like my dad, and that’s not what I want, I want to be nothing like him, and that might sound bad to most but if you knew my dad then you would know why I say I don’t want to be like him.

I’m far from perfect, and great, but I am also so far from being the worse. I know that I could do so much worse with my life than I am but I also know I could do so much better with my life, so from this point forward I am, I am going to do and be better. It’s what I need to do and what I want to do. I know I can do it no matter how hard it gets I will not give up until I am where I want and need to be.


About the author

Hidden secrets

Join me for learning all kinds of stories.

Reader insights

Be the first to share your insights about this piece.

How does it work?

Add your insights


There are no comments for this story

Be the first to respond and start the conversation.

Sign in to comment

    Find us on social media

    Miscellaneous links

    • Explore
    • Contact
    • Privacy Policy
    • Terms of Use
    • Support

    © 2022 Creatd, Inc. All Rights Reserved.