It’s Stuck to the Roof of My Mouth!
It just needs a little traction
Today as I was packing a picnic lunch to take to community swimming pool…I realized I have become bougie! I actually began to laugh as I pulled out the cooler that was big to hold 2 bottles of wine and the sliced up meat, cheese and fruit for a portable charcuterie board. I thought to myself “when did I become this person?” As I continued to gather my sunscreen, sunhat and watershoes; I began to think back to when I was a kid. All we had was our bathing suits, a towel with a hole in it (my mama said we couldn’t use the hood towels cause we might lose them) $2 dollars for a couple of snow cones and a brown paper bag lunch. We were (as my memaw used to say) happier than a pig in slop!
As I continued pack the last items in my picnic basket for my poolside excursion; I started thinking to think about my 12 year old self’s version of a picnic by the pool. I used to make bologna and cheese sandwiches with a squirt of mustard on both sides. I didn’t use mayonnaise because of the heat! I made that mistake one time…and let’s just say throwing up in the pool is frowned upon. Anyway sorry for getting off track…back to my pre-teen gourmet lunch. So other than the bologna sandwich I packed chips (if I was feeling frisky I would pack Doritos), juice box, a piece of fruit and my favorite Little Debbie oatmeal cream pie…a feast made for kings!
Now let me be clear…by time I ate lunch, my brown paper bag had been smooshed, step on and sometimes wet. But no worries…that’s why God invented plastic wrap. My friends and I would usually eat on the third mandatory break the life guards gave us. By that time I had been swimming for about 4 hours and it had been 7 hours since I had breakfast. Needless to say I was starving! That brown paper bag lunch didn’t stand a chance!
I remember it like it was yesterday…As got out of the pool in my Saved By The Bell tankini, I grabbed the over sized pink bathroom towel(with a large playboy bunny on it) that was worn thin from being washed too much to dry off with; then laid it on the hot concrete for a place to sit. Although I had been in the water all morning and most of the afternoon; I was extremely thirsty! Thank God I had decided to bring two juice boxe. That’s what you call being prepared…well at least that’s why 12 year old me thought. So as I began to pull my food out for a magnificent spread, I decided to go ahead and slurp that juice box down really fast. An idea that I would soon regret. Once I had my picnic picture perfect it was time to dive in to one hell of a smorgasbord!
It was glorious I tell you…a sight to see! My bologna sandwich that was slightly smooshed, pressed against against a moist plastic sandwich baggie; with a little bit of the cheese melted due to the heat of the day. I slowly pulled it out and as I bit into that Luke warm soggy delight I quickly realized my mouth was too dry and I was about to choke! I grabbed my friend’s arm and pointed to my drink. She asked me was wrong and the only thing I could manage to get out was “It’s stuck to the roof of my mouth!” I began to drink my juice box, but it wasn’t enough. I had to take my finger and peel it off the roof of my mouth. Once I got things under control I quickly realized what I had done wrong…yep you guessed it! I forgot to put the chips on the sandwich first! See it’s basic science you guys…the chips give the soggy bread texture and traction. It was smooth sailing from that point on.
I know some will think that is a pretty awful lunch to reminisce about. But see the lunch is merely a symbol of a moment in time when my life was simple, carefree , full of life and laughter. It was a time when my most difficult decision was…which sandwich to make. I am grateful for the “bougie” life I have created…but I will always cherish my humble beginnings. By the way just in case you were wondering…I did use my $2 dollars for a cherry and grape snow cone. It really was one hell of a great day!