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Is It Real That Dating Can Lead To Relationships?

Many of us have engaged in exclusively sexual relationships at some point or another.

By NizolePublished about a year ago 5 min read
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But can you develop a committed relationship out of these brief encounters with someone you care about?

You could be curious about how to formalize your relationship if your casual partner appears deserving of lengthy phone conversations, monogamous arrangements, or even falling in love. It is definitely possible—and often happens—that the connection will develop further. Starting a new relationship takes time, just like other things of the heart. Fortunately, it's simpler if you're already friendly with the person taking up your thoughts.

To find out when a relationship may start with casual sex, continue reading below (and how to tell if your partner is open to something more).

Casual Sex Types

No one solution can predict how each relationship will develop since it consists of two distinct, independent persons. Therefore, it is preferable to understand the kind of connection you have with your casual partner in order to select what you want going ahead rather than attempting to forecast it.

No-strings-attached, friends with benefits, and even having sex with your ex are three examples of casual relationships that expert Paul Joannides, Psy.D., explores in order to offer a fuller picture. As casual as casual sex gets, according to Joannides, is "sex with no conditions attached." It often entails having sex with a complete stranger who you may have only met an hour ago. Alternatively, you could have been aware of one another for a few weeks or months before to the chance encounter. It might be a one-night stand or have a shaky lifeline of its own.

No-strings-attached sex the majority of the time lives according to its name, but what happens when you become friends with benefits? It might be difficult to determine whether your spouse shares your love desire when you start to experience it.

Despite being self-explanatory, agreements for friends with benefits may remain unclear. Joannides points out that they are still regarded as partnerships in theory: According to Joannides, "it may be with an acquaintance who is perhaps a Facebook friend, but not someone you'd contact when you need a true buddy." It might even be done with a trustworthy buddy, which isn't necessarily as unpleasant as you would anticipate.

On the other hand, you may be in a casual relationship with someone you know well. Many ex-couples decide to get back together after they've formally broken up, especially when sex was the finest part of their union. Even though it may seem more convenient than meeting new people, as Joannides notes, "The potential dangers in having sex with an ex are numerous."

Why Engage in Casual Sex?

One reason is the novelty. Casual intimacy permits us to again experience the amount of enjoyment that having sex with a new person gives that past lovers do not share.

Before getting to know someone emotionally, some people may decide to engage in sexual activity with someone they find attractive only to see if there is any chemistry. If not, they won't pursue something more significant and long-lasting before moving on.

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According to clinical sexologist and psychotherapist Robert Weiss, Ph.D., MSW, "Each person is an individual with a distinct life experience and emotional composition, therefore each person is likely to react to casual sexual conduct differently." "Perhaps the greatest guidance is your own conscience if you discover that you are questioning your sexual activity (or lack thereof)."

Once we realize that we not only love the sex but also like our sexual partners as people—after spending time together, going on unofficial dates, and getting to know one another—many of us end up being open to (and beginning) a more serious relationship. In this approach, an emotional connection often serves as the starting point for something more significant, with a committed relationship perhaps following.

It's also fair to argue that, romantically or not, the act of engaging in sexual activity itself motivates us to form relationships. After all, you already find this person attractive, and you like having intimate relationships with them.

Is it wholesome?

Numerous studies have shown that participants span all generations. Even those of us who value no-strings-attached hookups aren't inherently against committed, long-lasting partnerships.

The last word? Depending on the individual. Casual sexual activity "is probably not going to be an issue for you in terms of your psychological welfare if it doesn't contradict your moral code, your sense of integrity, or the obligations you have made to yourself and/or others," adds Weiss.

Weiss points out that for some individuals, casual sex might have psychological negative effects. It's crucial to be honest with yourself about your emotions and to pull away from uncommitted partners if you ever feel uncomfortable.

What You Can Do to Advance Casual Sex

It might be difficult to express your wants for anything more if you are just a "friend with benefits" to your partner at the moment and don't know how they feel about it. How then can you determine whether they're just interested in having a good time now or if they're willing to go forward?

According to biological anthropologist Helen Fisher, Ph.D., many individuals participate in casual sex with the hopes of establishing a more committed relationship; she refers to this as "slow love." In an interview with The Washington Post, Fisher argues in favor of the notion that having a casual relationship may start with sex.

"Early sex conveys the message, 'I'm interested in you. I'm curious about you. I don't want to spend my whole life trying to figure you out. Fisher argues. "The person who really wants to be married will have sex early because they want to learn as much as they can, as quickly as they can, about this person."

Consequently, if you're hoping to advance that casual physical connection, try some of the following strategies:

Examine your partner's words and behavior to see if you have a common interest. Do you chat about other subjects during the day, or do you just hear from them in the early hours of the morning? Your spouse could be willing to take the first step toward commitment if you both love spending time together outside of the bedroom. If they're not interested, be ready; now is the moment to decide whether to continue your arrangement or look for something more worthwhile.

Yourself Expression Tell your spouse how you're feeling if you're certain that they share your feelings. Even if it turns out that your concerns were false, it is preferable to have a firm reaction when you are starting to feel something. Casually bring it up and allow your spouse some time to consider it. Best to stay away from ultimatums: Don't anticipate a response right away; instead, be clear about the kind of new connection you seek.

Go Out: When attempting to determine if your companion is "relationship material," this is extremely beneficial. Suggestion of joint travel: Choose an activity that shows you want to try out a date, but keep it semi-casual. Visit a museum, have coffee, go to a party, or make supper for one another. When you spend time with someone outside of your bedroom, you might see each other very differently. What if they are not interested? If this individual isn't "the one," that's cool too.

Starting a new connection with someone you care about may be worthwhile, even if it may be tough to get the guts at first. It doesn't hurt to try even if this relationship isn't the ideal one for you since you never know where it could take you.

My Special Relationship and Maintenance, a free book to download

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About the Creator

Nizole

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