Intimacy Before Maturity

The purpose of this story is not to share statistics about the rate of teenage pregnancies over time. Instead, the purpose is to raise awareness of the long-term impact that teen parenting has on the life of these parents and to provide hope. This information remains consistent for young, unestablished adults who become parents, too.

Introduction

There was a time when special interest organizations and individuals openly discussed concerns about the high rate of teenage parenting because the rate was so high.

Many educators developed curricula to educate students about this pervasive problem that has reached many areas of the United States. I was one of them. When I was a family and consumer sciences teacher, I developed a highly regarded teenage pregnancy prevention curriculum. Long before the power of social media, my work was regularly highlighted in syndicated newspapers and featured on television news broadcasts. A very popular television program in the Afterschool Special series that used to present topics that appealed to students was even created based upon my dedication to reducing the rate of teenage pregnancies by educating youth.

Health and social services professionals led efforts to decrease the number of teenage parents by sharing comprehensive sexuality education programs within communities and schools. Others such as leaders in faith-based communities did their part to solve this growing problem the promoting abstinence perspectives and programs.

All the collaborative efforts among these and many other societal groups helped to lower the number of teen parents from the 1990s through the most recent decades. According to the online “Reproductive Health: Teen Pregnancy Report” by the CDC (Centers for Disease Control and Prevention),

“evidence suggests these declines are due to more teens abstaining from sexual activity, and more teens who are sexually active using birth control than in previous years”.

Despite the reduction in the percentage of teens who are parents, teenage parents still exist. And there are some realities that they must confront. Young adults must confront them, too.

Choices

Simply stated, the choices that teenagers make today will impact their destiny tomorrow. This includes their depth of intimacy.

Pregnancy, the outcome of their sexual relationship, poses them with life-altering decisions. The choice to terminate the pregnancy or to bring a new human being into the world and terminate their parental rights through adoption or to parent their child must be made. And they must live with the impact of their decision.

These teenagers and young adults must live with whatever individual and the personal impact they may be confronted with as a result of their abortion or adoption. The same is true if they selected the path of parenting.

Hope Delayed But not Denied

A Dream Deferred by Langston Hughes

What happens to a dream deferred?

Does it dry up

Like a raisin in the sun?

Or fester like a sore —

And then run?

Does it stink like rotten meat?

Or crust and sugar over —

like a syrupy sweet?

Maybe it just sags

like a heavy load.

Or does it explode?

Parenting a precious new life is a beautiful thing because of the pure joy babies add to the lives of others and the world. However, young people are not ready to embrace the inclusive responsibilities of parenthood either as a married or cohabitating couple or as single mothers and fathers.

Their hopes, dreams, and goals will probably be compromised with or without a supportive network of a caring family, friends, teachers, or other members of the community.

In the best-case scenario, the desire for educational completion and advancement is likely to become more challenging as they are meeting the overall needs of their infants and young children. Conversely, in the worst-case scenario, it may either take longer to achieve their desires because they may need to be placed on hold. Ultimately, for many young parents, their aspirations will need to be abandoned altogether.

Despite this consequence, there is one common thread associated with parenting while young.

Sacrifice

It is challenging being a young parent. And being a good parent at a young age is like putting a jigsaw puzzle together because several factors exist. Organizing each piece of this puzzle involves personal sacrifice. Teenage parents must give up a lot and they must remain devoted to other things about the health, safety, and well-being of their child.

Here are some examples of this.

1. Financial obligations associated with raising a child and providing adequate child care mount. Many times young mothers and fathers are forced into the job market or they are forced to rely on family members to help them with expenses for their youngsters. Others must forsake their pride as they rely on various forms of governmental assistance just to merely survive. The quality of life of their small family becomes uncertain.

2. Raising a child involves a major time commitment. For teenage parents, this means that they must give up a significant amount of their time to focus on their child instead. So, activities like spending time with friends, having fun, attending special age-appropriate events, and so much more are either greatly reduced or they become nonexistent.

3. Family priorities related to the basic life necessities like housing, food, clothing, transportation, and paying bills override the personal desire of the young parent. Self-indulgences and self-care activities often become unattained luxuries. While many young people enjoy things like getting their hair and nails done regularly, purchasing high fashion attire and accessories, joining a fitness club, or taking interesting classes or lessons, they are less likely to occur.

However, the love that young parents have for their children and their giving spirit releases these and many other personal sacrifices.

Perseverance

All is not lost for teenage and young adult parents who embrace a spirit of determination.

Despite the consequences and obstacles they encounter, a spirit of unshakable perseverance motivates numerous teen parents. Their hard work and resilience enable them to focus on their responsibilities, goals, and future with laser-sharp focus.

What they encounter as very young parents provide many with maturity beyond their years.

Many teenagers grow to embrace the promise their future holds. While there is nothing easy about being a young parent, many break through the barrier of stigma and live very successful lives as adults. And so d their children.

The Final Thoughts

When teenagers and young adults choose intimacy and parenthood that often results, consequences follow.

Their hopes and dreams for the future are hidden in their hearts since their earliest beginnings are likely to be put on hold or they will become out of reach while not erased from their spirits. The promise that they once possessed with ease will simply be harder but not impossible to achieve.

Despite the challenges of being a parent while very young, it is possible to be a very good parent. The support that young parents receive from loved ones and friends, as well as those who care, will improve their capacity as mothers and fathers. However, all the personal sacrifices that they make for their children will make a positive difference for their children.

Along with being mature parents who are filled with goodness, if these teenagers allow perseverance to be their compass in life, their overall success in life becomes their reality and the reality of their children.

If you enjoyed this story, consider sharing it on your social media platforms. Also, please consider adding a tip to help fund my work to increase family engagement in education.

Thank you.

This story was originally published on Medium.com in ILLUMINATION-Curated.