Inhale. Exhale. Repeat.

Her heart raced with every breath.

Inhale. Exhale. Repeat.

The pain came in waves, larger waves that rippled into smaller ones and left her body weak and trembling. Her breathing didn’t come naturally, she had to force herself to do it. It was almost as if her whole body was fighting her. Breaking her. Scaring her. Would she actually break? Could she? Of course she could. But would she?

Her breathing was shaky and she cried for him to hold her, which he did the best he could. But how could he hold her the way she wanted to be held while his hands were holding her leg already? Was he even there? Her eyes were squeezed closed and her arms and legs were numb. Her senses were both heightened and hindered at the same time. How is this possible? How was she supposed to focus on her breathing, her needs and her well being all at the same time? She was only focused on her daughter. They little one causing all this grief. This beautiful, horrible grief.

Inhale. Exhale. Repeat.

After what felt like a lifetime, it was over. Her body sank and shuttered. She was both frozen and on fire at the same time. Noises rang in her ears and echoed in her head. The light was blinding, but she couldn’t close her eyes. She couldn’t miss it. Not after all this time. Not after knowing her so much already, she couldn’t miss her.

Fighting the urge to close her eyes and sleep, she tried to sit up. She quickly sank back down in pain, still trying to see over the commotion that filled the room. Where was she? Where was her child? Are they taking her away? Where are they taking her?!

“Go with her!” She yelled at her husband.

He left her side and followed the commotion. She was alone. She was totally alone. Her body felt empty as she clutched her stomach. For the first time in 9 months, she was alone.

Inhale. Exhale. Repeat.

Then she was there. Moving toward her. With every step he took, the excitement built in her chest. In her heart. In her soul. She was so incredibly overwhelmed. What if she was horrible? What if she was hated? Was it the right time or should they have waited? What if she messes up? What if she lets them down? What if this was a mistake and everything falls apart? What if... What if...

The nerves were wrecking her and the anticipation built. She was right back to not being able to breathe. Was she really going to suffocate herself today with all of this?

Inhale. Exhale. Repeat.

Then there she was. Beautiful. Delicate. Fragile. Perfect. Wrapped in a little pink blanket being held by the man she loved. His arms were strong and protective, holding the most precious thing they could ever have had together. The look in his eyes was nothing short of absolute love and awe while he gazed upon his daughter. It was overwhelming watching him walk slowly toward her. She could tell he wanted to take in as much of these first moments as he could. And she wanted to take in the sight before her.

She wanted him to have those moments. So she was patient as she waited her turn. It felt like an eternity, but she didn’t mind watching the two loves of her life stand in front of her. She was overwhelmed. Completely overwhelmed. And delighted.

Inhale. Exhale. Repeat.