I'm proud to be a one-man woman

As I read the stories of other Vocal creators I realize how vastly different we all are regarding romance. Writers are sharing that they enjoy threesomes, open relationships, and women boldly declaring they don't mind sleeping around. Increasing numbers of females are letting the world know that they desire to explore their sexuality the same way men always have. I am tossing my hat into the ring so to speak to write about being a one-man woman because there are still those who enjoy this manner of living. While celebrating alternate lifestyles it's important to not overlook the fact that some people do prefer having one partner for life.

When I met my husband I was a 17 year old virgin and he was 18 and had 2 previous girlfriends to cheat on him and become pregnant. In a way I guess we were looking for each other. He wanted someone who would remain faithful and I desired a man who would respect my values. I was excited the first time we made love and felt so special. We were kissing and he stopped and asked "Can I" and I replied "Yes." From that day there was a connection that I knew for me would not be broken.

Opening myself up to another person like that and allowing them in was amazing. I knew right away that I could not give myself to anyone else this way and in 45 years I never did. As a married couple we explored so much together and shared our firsts of many things with each other. I knew that other couples had been there, done that, but for me, it was as if everything was brand new and only for us. I recall dances, concerts, and nights at a club where we would slow dance and cling to each other. Without a word said we knew what was going to happen when we got home, and it always did. This is why I miss him like crazy.



Looking forward to romantic time with my spouse was always exciting and each time for me seemed like the first time. I listened as other women teased me and said I was missing out by not trying other men. I just smiled but in my mind, I knew I had the best and did not need to compare him with anyone else. I decided long ago that my spouse was best for me and told him so all the time. He once told me that I was the best lover of all the women he had known before me and I appreciated that.

So many people over the years would run into us separately and express shock that we were still together. I was even told once by a man that I must be doing something right to hold on to a husband so long. He was questioned about the fact that he stayed with me but we kept our personal business private. Neither of us discussed our sex lives with others and for a very good reason. We did not want others to be looking at us as if they wanted to find out for themselves what went on with us sexually. We wanted to keep people guessing and they did just that. Right now I believe that I will love him always and I know there are other women who feel the same about their deceased spouses.



We had the same attitude and agreement is very important in a marriage. My body belonged to him and his to me. We took our vows of being one flesh very seriously and we enjoyed it when our bodies became one. I am not trying to convince anyone of anything because those who believe staying with one person for 4 decades is boring will not be swayed by anything they read here. Others, who like myself enjoy monogamy understand exactly what I am saying.

One day the Proverb to drink water from your own cistern, (well) hit me like a ton of bricks. Some believe this means to use what is in your own house and don't steal from your neighbor. I realized it had multiple applications and one was to have sex with your own spouse. I believe that if you want to live as a single person then remain single and don't ruin the sanctity of holy matrimony. My husband passed away 5 weeks ago and I miss him. I do not miss sex, I miss my spouse and how he made me feel for 45 years.



I long for his naked body next to mine and his voice whispering in my ear. He made me a woman so to speak and continued to make me feel special until illness rendered him unable to. Everyone has their own story and this one is mine. I understand that the loss is fresh and some say I will change my mind in time. I cannot predict the future but on this day I tell you that I was never bored with monogamy.

I did all my exploring with the man I said my vows to. As of right now, I say to those who believe I need someone new, or men who believe they have something more to offer: "Can't touch this". I had something special that I do not believe can be replaced. Some are one man at a time women, while others are one man for life. I am the latter and proud of it.