"I am a man to learn this why", do not want the father as a hands-off

A few days ago, I met a mother of two who was holding one in her arms, holding one in her hand and carrying something, thinking that she was so "boiled" over the sour, could not help but go forward to help carry things, a way to meet the water is also considered a very good conversation, the mother of two is considered the most representative of the life of a full-time wife, in The in-laws, are responsible for being a daughter-in-law, a wife, a mother, and a year-round nanny, and the husband is the most typical representative of a sun-drenched handbag.

That "I am a man to learn this why", stabbed my nerves as a mother

The more you talk under the park bench, the more excited the mother of two, told her sour past, the kind of eyes open every day around the child, around the pot to play the day I believe that many full-time mothers are not at all unfamiliar, once this mother because busy shouting baby dad to hold a child, the result of the reluctant look of the baby dad angered the mother, casually corrected the correct how to hold the child, baby dad said angrily "I am a man to learn this way with children is originally your thing".

The result is that the father did not stay but said "whatever".

The child is born by the mother and should be taken care of by the mother herself, and the father does not have the responsibility to take care of the child.

This question is obviously impossible, it is said that "the son does not teach, the father's fault", indicating that the responsibility of raising children lies with both parents, those "I am a man does not need to take care of children" idea is completely outdated male power era, nowadays advocate is gender equality but It seems that the status of women is slowly overtaking that of men in terms of having daughters being more popular.

Of course, things are not absolute, some fathers are still very fond of children, and they take care of the baby even more careful than the mothers, Lan Mom has one such relative, the father is a very delicate thing, and the mother is a careless character, every time at the dinner table when the father took care of the children and daughter-in-law.

I've admired and praised this father's thoughtfulness countless times, and I remember a relative who couldn't eat grapes and said, "He's afraid his daughter-in-law will run away because of bad family conditions, so he's always coaxing his wife". If a person does not know how to be considerate of his wife and children, no matter how afraid his wife can not change their behavior habits.

However, from the daily experience of the couple's relatives with their children, Mama Lan smelled a truth: behind every hardworking father, there is a lazy mother.

Sometimes, it's not that dads are lazy, but they don't have the opportunity to show it. Take this relative couple that Lan Ma knows, the mom likes to play with her phone and take care of the baby carelessly, while the dad sees it, although he also verbally said some words of reprimand, but the action is correcting the mistake of bringing up the child and didn't say "you gave birth to the child regardless, why did you give birth to him? "This kind of attitude is exactly suitable for couples to get along with each other, and is also a family head should have the style.

Later, Lan Ma also tried to be a "lazy mother", the results found that the "lazy mother" the degradation of a hardworking father online, in personal experience to understand those who can be called "model fathers The men who are "model fathers" are able to take care of their families around them with consideration or with mutual consideration.

Prevalence of model fathers, do not want to be the father of the family when they hand off, these things should not hesitate to be ruthless when

Since the birth of a child, many mothers have a strong "exclusive" interest in their babies, and it is difficult to find fathers who are more considerate than their mothers, so it is more important for mothers to be ruthless in giving their children to their fathers and giving them the space to spend time alone with their babies. The first thing you need to do is to give your child to the father and give him space to be alone with the baby.

So, it is not terrible to have a father who does not know how to bring up a child, and there is no need to worry about a father who does not want to bring up a baby, try to be a lazy mother to create opportunities for the father and the baby to get along, you will find that although the treasure father mouth chatter a few words, in fact, the action still betrays the real idea that the father cares about his wife and children.

Of course, the lazy mother's "ruthlessness" may also appear counterproductive, such as being blamed by parents for "only birth not nurture", by the baby misunderstanding that the "mother abandoned himself". ......, it can be seen that "lazy mom" is also to be carried out in a way to get both the fish and the bear's paw.

The actual "lazy mom" role should be interpreted correctly in creating opportunities for the dad to get along with the baby.

1, the face of the baby's father's nagging shows weakness

If you are a lazy mom, you are bound to get complaints from your dad, which is the same as when we complain about our dad being too lazy, since we are deeply concerned about this, there is no need to get angry about it, learning to be generous and weak is what a smart mom should do. I like to rely on you", with sweet words to resolve the father's nagging, which is more than "I took the child for a day you take care of a while, what's wrong" strong response to make the father willing to take the baby.

2, the face of the baby's crying to respond

When we try to do a "lazy mother", the opportunity to get along with the father when the baby will inevitably cry to resist, after all, the baby and the mother get along the most, and usually rely on the mother is also a very normal thing, when the baby cries remember not to leave the baby directly regardless, if we say to the baby " Dad misses the baby very much want to play with the baby toys, you play with dad for a while, OK", be needed is the need of everyone's bones bloom, 24 hours away from the mother's baby is also the same, when the baby feels that they are needed by the father after they naturally will not be like the beginning of the rejection of the father.

3. Encourage dads to be clumsy in the face

Dads with babies are often awarded the title of "unreliable" this is the same as labeling will bring greater internal pressure on the father, when the father will not even be tweeted "even a child can not bring up", their internal anxiety and resistance is easy to be When we are faced with dad's clumsiness, if mom is encouraging, you will find that dad will be more serious and hardworking.

About the father with children, there are often some unexpected "lazy ideas", such as tucking the baby into the clothes to reveal a head and just play games, or directly letting the baby ooh and aah, and cross their legs to play with the phone ......

This is the time not to criticize and blame, we can learn to make the father anxious, self-blame method, such as quietly taking the child away from the father's line of sight, and then reminding the father to find the baby at the right time, after self-blame anxious and then go to the baby father to reason, which is easier than "even a child can not bring a good" spittle to make the father accept their own The mistake.